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Ringing


Since a very young age, I’ve occasionally heard this ringing sort of sound in my head. It’s a bit like a church bell, though not quite as loud or penetrating a sound. The best way I can describe it is a faint, almost hum-like ding ding in my head. Honestly, a lot like something you'd hear in an old-school Zelda game.

After some time, I deciphered that I would hear this noise in the event that I was doing something for the last time - seeing something unique, saying something unique, watching a terrible movie and knowing I’d never watch it again… If I made up a silly word like “hadayadadoodoopeepee”, sure enough I would hear ding ding - knowing I’d never say that exact word again.

At first, it was quite annoying. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding I would hear as I visited a new place, as I’d never see any of these strangers again. Fortunately, with some practice and effort, I was able to drown out these rings in favor of those that tend to be louder, denoting a more impactful “last time”.

As I grew up, I began to hate this curse - and quickly fell into a depression. Saying goodbye to my friends at graduation, only to be inundated with ding ding ding ding ding - knowing we’d all go our separate ways and never speak again. I’ll never forget the ding ding I heard as I said goodbye to my father for the last time, seconds before he peacefully passed away. Not to mention the numerous first dates I’ve been on, hearing ding ding as we finished up the night.

This has been years, though. With the help of my beautiful wife and daughter, I’ve managed to turn the ringing into something positive. I decided to quit my drinking habit, and after many harsh months I finally heard that ding ding as I took my last shot of whiskey. I recently had a Big Mac, only to hear ding ding as I put it down, and I’ve since dropped several pounds. My wife is my biggest support, and thus far the only person I’ve trusted to tell about this secret.

My wife and kid are leaving to spend some much needed quality time together soon. “I love you!”, I tell them as they’re heading out the door.

ding ding

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Credits

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