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Showing posts from June, 2012

Number 77's Death

Early in the morning of August 19, 2005, the body of a young black man approximately 16 or 17 years old was found on Wolfe Street, in downtown Baltimore. The corpse lay in a pool of blood, and was dressed in a pair of loose jean shorts over white cotton boxers, a Baltimore Ravens football jersey bearing the number 77 and the name Ortiz, a pair of white cotton athletic socks and a small gold cross on a chain around the body’s neck. The body wore no shoes, and had no wallet or other identifying possessions. Baltimore City police concluded that the young man had been just another victim of the city’s frequent violent crimes. Nobody came forth to claim or identify the body, and it was passed on to the coroner’s office for autopsy. The coroner’s report concluded that the cause of death was blood loss and trauma caused by three shots to the upper chest, one of which penetrated the heart and the other two the left lung. So far, so normal, right? Here’s the part the official statement left out

打出来的女人嘴服,疼出来的女人心服 (A Chinese Story)

女人入洞房那天 早早收起了自己的鞋, 等男人脱鞋上炕, 女人却双脚踩在男人的鞋上。 男人见了, “嘿嘿”笑着说, 还挺迷信。 女人却认真地说, 俺娘说了, 踩了男人的鞋, 一辈子不受男人的气。 男人说,俺娘也说了 女人踩了男人的鞋, 那是一辈子要跟男人吃苦受罪的。   女人开始试探着管男人, 先从生活小事儿开始, 支使男人拿尿盆倒尿罐,男人全干了。 地里的庄稼女人说种啥,男人就种啥。 左邻右舍女人说跟谁走近点跟谁走远点,男人全听女人的。 男人正跟人闲侃,女人一声喊,男人像被牵了鼻子的牛,乖乖就回去了。 男人正跟人喝酒,女人上前只扯一下耳朵,就被拽进家。 有人激男人, 这女人三天不打, 她就上房揭瓦。 你也算个男人, 怎能让女人管得没有一点男人的气概? 若是我的女人, 非扇她两鞋底不可。 男人不急不慌地说:把你的女人叫来,我也舍得扇她两鞋底子。 那人急了,你懂个好赖话不?上辈子老和尚托生的没见过女人!真不像你爹的种,怕老婆!      村里人再有大事商量, 男人一出场, 人们就说,这商量大事你也做不了主,还是把你家女人请来吧。 男人还真把女人叫来了。      女人能管住男人觉着很得意, 直到有一天女人在男人耳边说起了婆婆的不是。 男人红了眼,一声吼, 想知道我为啥不打你吗?就因为我老娘。 我娘一辈子不容易,我爹脾性暴躁,稍有不顺心,张口就骂举手就打,我爹打断过胳膊粗的棍子,打散过椅子。 我娘为了我们几个孩子,竟熬了一辈子。 每次见娘挨打,我都发誓,我娶了女人决不捅他一指头。 不是我怕你, 是我忘不了我老娘说的话,她说女人是被男人疼的,不是被男人打的。       女人惊呆了,她没想到男人的胸怀竟这样宽广。        男人在外再同人神吹海喝,女人不喊也不再拽耳朵,有时会端碗水递给男人。 有人问男人,咋调教的? 男人却一本正经地说:打出来的女人嘴服,疼出来的女人心服。 βʏ βℓʋɛ ɢʋαѴα (Blue Guava)

The Subway Ride

I live in the UK. A colleague at work heard this from her boyfriend. He works with someone who said that his sister’s friend got the last tube (subway train) home a couple of weeks ago. When she got on there were 5 rows of seats empty but the last row had three people sitting in them. As she was a little afraid, she went and sat opposite these people. She settled down and looked up to see the woman sitting opposite her really staring at her. So she got out her book and started to read but every time she looked up the woman was still staring. The train pulled into the next station and a man got on. He looked up and down the carriage, took a look at her and the people opposite her and came and sat next to her. As the train left the station the man leaned back and said quietly in her ear “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get off at the next station with me”. She was scared but thought the best idea would be to get off at the next station as he asked as there might be people around.

The Last Thing You Remember

A gunshot shatters your blissful state of slumber. Blood stains your sheets and crimson runs from the walls and ceiling, and you notice from the blurred vagueness that is your peripheral vision, a body slumped over the foot of your bed. Somebody has been murdered in your room. Despite the early hour, and the shock of your discovery, you desperately muster the strength to search for the last place you put the phone; you have to call the police before it’s too late. As you frantically search under cushions, beneath stacks of papers and old CD’s, you realize something is wrong. Suddenly, you feel weak, decrepit, frail, a frailness that brings on intense and unwanted dizziness. You clench your teeth as you search for the phone, but your pain continues lurch at your bones and nag at you. The pain becomes intense, and your vision blurs, and you keel over in pain onto the floor. You are immobile due to the raging and unknown pain clawing at your insides. Helpless. You sense a living presence

You Reap What You Sow

"Good morning," said a woman as she walked up to the man sitting on ground. The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before. "Leave me alone," he growled. To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. "Are you hungry?" she asked. "No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president. Now go away." The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. "What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone."

Dripping

A couple was sitting in a movie theatre watching a scary movie, and the female of the group wasn’t having a good time. She’d obviously been bored out of her mind. It’d been a late showing, so there was practically no one there and the room was dead silent except for the screening. About an hour into the show, she feels a drop on her hand. Ignoring it, she quickly shakes off the feeling and continues to watch the movie, trying to enjoy it. Another drop lands on her hand and furious now, she hits her boyfriend, thinking that he’d purposely been messing with her, be it spitting or throwing water on her. He doesn’t move. She pushes him harder this time, throwing in some obscenities, and to her horror, a red line that she hadn’t noticed until now, starts to seep red and then his head falls off. Horrified, she lets out a silent scream and that’s when she feels the drip again. Looking at her hand, she can barely make out the color of the liquid, but it’s red. Nervously, she looks up and is sh

I'm Sure The Wake Will Be Nice

If traveling through the tip of the thumb of Michigan on a night with a full moon, stop at McGraw County Park. The gate will be closed but you can park in front of it. Bring a set of black clothes and change in the change rooms. When you come out, there will be an old man with olive colored skin and curly dark brown hair and a mustache selling hot dogs in a cart. If you order one, the man will thank you for your patronage and apologize for your loss saying “I’m sure the wake will be nice.” One of your relatives – not necessarily someone close but still someone you know – will have been murdered that night. Be sure to change back into your other set of clothes, because if you drive away while still dressed in the black clothes you’ll be pulled over by state police and arrested for the murder of your family member and the clothes will be covered in their blood.

Love Quotes/Poems

Two hearts intertwined Different views Different dreams Different needs Different wants Bound by a fragile string called love Union as willed by God A journey in life May be pounded by the forces of nature May be struck by the fiercest lightning Yet two hearts bound by a delicate twine Strong enough To stand the test of time -- Jerome Bartolabac Find love is like finding one answer to all of your prayers -- Jennifer Regimbald Like a child's infinite dreams, is the endlessness of love -- Renee Tripp The best things in life can never be kept; they must be given away. A smile, a kiss, and love -- Tony Farmer Love is when you look into someone's eyes and see everything you need -- Kristen Kappel Love is something you can't describe like the look of a rose, the smell of the rain, or the feeling of forever -- Kristen Kappel When I look into your eyes, it's like falling in love all over again -- Amanda Arco The bond of two people's love cannot be broken, bend it, twist it,

The Letters

You were out of town for the weekend. When you came back to your apartment, your mailbox was stuffed full. At least 30 letters. Letters with no return address, several of them felt soggy and heavy, as though they were recently wet, or perhaps contained a liquid. All of the letters have your name and address written on them, and many of them had your name scratched all over them in red in. They don’t smell nice, they smell like rotting meat and old garbage and you’re reluctant to take them back to your room, but curiosity gets the better of you. You manage to cart them all back to your room, you dump them in your kitchenette sink because you don’t want them smelling up the rest of the apartment. You grab one that doesn’t seem damp and isn’t covered with writing, and open it up. There’s pictures inside. Pictures of people you don’t know, with their eyes torn out, teeth missing, unhinged jaws hanging open, throats ripped out. You’re horrified and yet you can’t help but wonder what’s in th

Internet Fairy Tales

By Hallie Cantor from College Humor

The Cute Waitress

You just moved into your new apartment, in a very big city. After a year of this life, you have almost given up hope of making any friends; be it at work or any other means. You feel very lonely. After looking for a peaceful place to spend your time, you find a quiet diner on the outskirts of town. The waitress is very attractive. Also, she seems to be the only employee there, ever. You never see anyone else eat there either, ever. The place is perfect for you. Making love to her becomes a routine. You go there every night for dinner, and then to see her. You eventually make other friends, and eat at the diner less and less. After some time you stop going completely. At a bar with your best friend, you tell him about the fun you had with the waitress at the diner. He says he absolutely must see her. You take him there one night, but the building is in a state of ruin. The front door barely opens. The grimy insides of the diner are disgusting, and, behind the counter, is moldy corpse, r

Support Call ID: 100156-03

SUPPORT DESK TRANSCRIPT ID: 100156-03 Supp User: Jim_D Call Date/Time: 08-16-201X Cust Acc: 212254674 Supervisor Notes: Customer account identified at intro – passed thru to support. FLSH case No. 83447 ====================================== JIM: Hi. I’m Jim, your mobile phone support contact. This conversation may be recorded for training purposes. How can I help you today? CUSTOMER: Hiya. Having some trouble with the speech recognition. It doesn’t seem to understand what I’m asking. JIM: Okay. I just need to get a few additional details first before we go any further. Are the contact and billing details on your account up to date? CUSTOMER: Yes. JIM: And I see here your contract began a month ago. CUSTOMER: Yes. I connected to the 3G network last week and it flashed up something about a software upgrade and that’s when the problems started. JIM: Thanks, but I just need to confirm a few more things before we can start trying to identify the issue and resolve it for you. Your mobile i

Have You Seen My Son?

“Have you seen my son?” asked the frantic woman to the old lady across the street. “No, sorry dear” the old woman replied. “Have you seen my son?” the woman asked the local police officer, more terrified this time. “No, I’m sorry mam, but we’ll search right away” the officer replied. “Please…please tell me my son is in there” asked the woman to the mother of her son’s best friend. “I’m really sorry Clarice, we haven’t seen him” the mother replied. The woman searched everywhere, ran through every part of the street, screaming, “Where is my son”. She was crying, pulling her hair out of despair. Her neighbors, out of pity, helped her in her search. “JIMMY, JIMMY! WHERE ARE YOU! PLEASE COME OUT!” Every day, from 10 in the morning till 8 in the evening, the woman would leave her house, looking like trash. She looked like a risen corpse; Pale skin, frizzy hair, and her skinnier body. She screamed at every part of the town, “HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON?” Alas at the second week of her search, every

Failed Rituals

I really wish I had left that fucking light switch alone. Who would have thought the flick of a switch could mean the difference between life and death. Actually everyone’s thought that. That’s why I turned it on. Stupid little rituals that we take from childhood. The light will chase the monsters away, the blanket over your head will save you from the boogie man. And you just get more of these rituals as you get older. As long as you lock the doors and turn on the home security system, you can rest your head happily in your cozy little fortified home. No killers or psychos, monsters or boogie men. But it doesn’t work. None of it. We always slip up some how. The one time you forget to lock that door. That’s when they get you. I would have been sound asleep if I hadn’t been woken by the loud slam as the front door blew open. I stumbled out of bed and down the hall to see it swinging back and forth. I moved quickly down the hall to secure it. A moment of panic swelled inside of me. My ho

The Wrong CD

Alone at work late one night, you are putting in a CD to install a program on your computer. The CD is unlabeled though you remember it being labeled like any other mass produced CD. You put it into the drive, and find it to have no data on it either. Instead of the normal CD spinning sound, it almost sounded like screaming. It’s obviously the wrong CD and you find the real one soon, and continue your work. Alone again on another night you need to back-up your hard drive on a blank CD, so you put one in. You hear the vaguely familiar screaming noise, but this time your computer screen goes blank for a few seconds, before the entire floor goes dark. Now the screaming you hear is not coming from a computer drive, it’s coming from down the hall… and it’s getting closer.

The House Job

I’ll first tell you what I do for a living, as it will bring some understanding to my situation. I run my own business, if you could call it that. I’ve thought of it more as a personal service. I break into the home or building of a client’s choice, destroy or steal whatever they want, provide proof of the action, then I get paid (quite substantially, if I may add). My clients usually take the form of a middle class man angered at their boss, or a recently dumped individual who wants revenge on their ex. Essentially, I do the work that one has the anger and desire to do, but doesn’t have the actual nerve to do it themselves. It paid well, and it gave me some interesting places to explore, so I’ve been quite content with the job. About a few weeks ago, I received a usual call for what I expected to be a usual job. The caller requested me to break into an abandoned home not too far from my area. He requested me to retrieve a few recordings of sorts. VHS tapes, cassettes, DVDs, they didn