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Dear Diary,

That's how you're meant to start these things right? I have never kept a journal before, nor do I want to, but the hospital said I have to as part of my 'treatment plan'. Funny.

Let me back track a little.

I have always been overweight, from being a child. I went to a strict Christian school, and luckily because of this I was never bullied because of my size- but you always notice the other kids staring.

It got worse as I got older, I just seemed to expand in all directions except the one way I wanted. So not only am I fat, but also very short. You can imagine this didn't do too much for my self esteem.

Because of my size, I've always hated gym class at school. Firstly there's the undressing in front of the other beautiful, skinny girls who always glance over at me. God, this is embarrassing to write. I could feel my whole body flare red as I felt their eyes on me. Then there was the exercise itself. I'd get awful chest pains, and couldn't run more than around a hundred metres, and wouldn't even attempt real team games- no one would pick me anyway.

I tried diets. Every single diet you can imagine: Atkins, cabbage soup, 5:2... You name it, I've tried it. But they never work, I always end up caving and getting bigger.

Things got really bad 2 years ago. I got really bad chest pains and was rushed to hospital- doctors said my weight was at a dangerous level, and that my heart was suffering, I had to change my ways. My parents begged me to change, bought all the right foods, even watched me at meal times. But did I change? Nope. Still the fat glutton I've always been.

I got bigger. I know what you're thinking, why? Why do this to yourself? Why put not only yourself but also your parents through this? Well, Diary, I'll tell you. IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE ZERO SELF CONTROL, OBVIOUSLY. Fuck. I hate myself. I can feel my rolls. I hate going clothes shopping. Nothing suits me. Sometimes I just sit in bed and cry at how little control I have over my life.


Sorry Diary, forgot to date it last time, but it's been about 3 weeks. I got put in hospital again with chest pains. Doctors told me off, I saw psychologists about my weight problem. Other than that, nothing much to report... still a fatty. Always will be probably! I'll update you when I've lost a few pounds... we may be a while.


Hello people of Reddit.

I am the father of Ella, the writer of this diary. My family are devastated and going through a very difficult time at the moment, as my daughter passed away last week.

She had suffered with Anorexia Nervosa for many years, and in the end her heart couldn't cope anymore, and gave up. It is clear reading her diary, which I did not know she kept until I had the opportunity to look in her bedroom, that she had severe body dysmorphia, believing she was actually overweight.

She was 60lbs exactly when she died.

It was a hard decision to make, but I decided to post this diary for others out there who are either suffering themselves with this disease or know somebody that is.

Sometimes, you just can't see the forest for the trees.

by reddit user kateshakes via:

While a woman sleeps in the garden, a snake crawls under her skirts and makes its way ‘into her body’ where it comes to rest in her womb. The woman falls pregnant, and when the baby (Biancabella) is born, she has a tiny snake coiled around her neck. The snake quickly slithers away into the garden.

When Biancabella is 10, she discovers the snake in the garden. The snake reveals itself to be her own sister, and gifts her with great beauty. With her new beauty, she is quickly married off to a king.

The king’s evil step-mother hatches a plan to be rid of Biancabella, and when the king is away at war, she pays a group of men to take the new queen into the forest and kill her. The men are unable to go through with the murder, so instead they cut off Biancabellas hands and tear out her eyes, which they give to the step-mother as proof of the queen’s demise. The step-mother then places her own hideously ugly and deformed daughter in Biancabella’s bed, and when the king returns home, she tells him that his precious Biancabella miscarried a child, and has become hideous with grief.

Meanwhile, Biancabella decides to kill herself – but as soon as she attempts to do so, her sister appears in human form and magically heals Biancabella’s horrible wounds. They return to the kingdom where the false queen now reigns: the evil plot is revealed, and the step-mother and her two daughters are burned alive in a furnace.

-(Giambattista Basile – Il Pentamerone (Entertainment For The Young) 1634)


This was the earliest written version of Sleeping Beauty. It is prophesied at Talia’s birth that she will one day face great danger from a chip of flax. Her father therefore orders that all flax be removed from the kingdom. When she is grown, Talia manages to find the only piece of flax in the entire kingdom, gets a splinter of it stuck beneath her fingernail, and falls into a deathlike sleep. Her father, beside himself with grief, orders the palace and surrounding countryside be abandoned so he can put the event out of his mind.

Eventually, another king stumbles upon the abandoned kingdom, and finds Talia sleeping alone. Unable to wake her, he decides to rape the sleeping girl. He then returns home to his wife.

Talia falls pregnant and, without waking, eventually gives birth to twins.. While the babies try to find her breasts to suckle, one starts sucking on her finger and the flax splinter is loosened. Talia wakes up, and is overjoyed to find herself the mother of twins, which she names Sun and Moon.

The king decides to return for a little more action, but instead of finding a comatose girl, he finds Talia awake – the mother of his children. A relationship soon develops between them. The king’s wife learns of the affair and, pretending to be the king, sends for Sun and Moon. She gives them to the cook, and tells him to slaughter and roast them and serve them to the king. The cook, unable to kill the babies, hides the twins and serves up two baby lambs instead. The queen watches gleefully as the king devours the meal. She then sends for Talia, and demands she be burned alive. The King hears Talia screaming, and rescues her just in time. The awful queen is thrown in the fire instead, and roasts to death. The cook then produces the twins, alive and well, and they all live happily ever after.

-(Giambattista Basile – Il Pentamerone (Entertainment For The Young) 1634)


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