It was the last week of school. Everyone was anxious to get out of school and their life out in the big open. The fun-loving students of Institute Sinaran were enjoying a perfect IS Night at Sutera Harbour Hotel.
“Hey, Jude,” Rach asked, munching a sandwich. “What do you want to be when you’re out in the big world?”
“You first,” Jude said.
“Don’t mind if I do. I’m definitely going to be the world’s greatest writer. Maybe even the Businesswoman cum Writer of the Year!”
“I bet,” Mark David commented with a grin. “With all that ludicrous ideas collected in your brain, I bet you make a great writer.”
“Are you accusing me of being crazy?!” Rach growled.
“Not exactly. But then again, if you ask about my dream, it’ll always be the world’s greatest lawyer, like Dylan McDermott in The Practice!”
“Provided you don’t bring a Spirit Ascending Gun into court and firing it every time the prosecutor pisses you off,” Becka commented quietly, resulting in a venomous look from Mark David.
“It’s a drag to grow up and get out into the big world,” Annie complained. “Being like this seemed pretty a-OK.”
“I bet Justin wants to be a forensic police, working like the ones in the CSI shows,” Mark David suggested. Justin only scratched his head gingerly.
“I’m opting to be a piano teacher, or maybe a great pianist,” Elaine voiced out.
“What do you want to be, Maril?” Jude turned to Marilyn.
“Oh, just a simple housewife, maybe,” Marilyn replied sheepishly.
“Wow, family-oriented, eh?” Becka commented.
“What about you, Becka?”
“Me?” Becka had her hand on her chest dramatically. “Haven’t you noticed? I am going to the world’s most famous hair dresser like Vidal Sassoon. Or maybe an interior designer creating lovely little rooms for all my customers. Once they have a craze over my art, they’ll be begging to have me and I will dominate the whole industry! Oh ho ho ho ho~!”
“Don’t get carried away,” Jude said, waving her fantasies away.
“Hey, not fair! We told you ours but you haven’t told us yours!” Annie complained, pointing her spoon at Jude. Jude held up her hands in surrender.
“OK, OK, I’ll spill,” Jude grinned. “My greatest dream is to be the world’s famous comic artist or writer, or maybe a hotel manager. Then later…”
She had no intention to say what was later, but if they could read minds, they would probably see wedding bells and see her and Mark David walking down the aisle, saying their vows and sharing a kiss.
Of course, she wouldn’t dare to let her crush Mark David know or she’ll die of embarrassment, but she hoped that this dream will come true.
--:--
“Jude! Jude, wake up! You’ll be late!”
Jude groaned as she pulled the covers over her. “Mummy! Today’s class is not until 8.30! I don’t even think there’ll be much school left!”
“What are you talking about? Why would you want to go to school?” Jude’s mother asked in a surprised tone. “You’re already 26 years old. You don’t need to go to school!”
“Huh?!” Jude woke up with a start. 26? That’s totally impossible! She squeezed her breasts for a reality check, then grinned and said, “Mummy, don’t bug me. My breasts are not even big enough yet. I can’t be 26!”
“Breast sizes are inherited, Jude! Go take a look at yourself in the mirror!”
Jude rushed to the mirror and saw that she looked more grown up and much more mature than she was when she was—is—19. Her hair has grown down to her waist again—she had hers cut fine and short just for IS Night.
‘This can’t be! My name is Judith Light, 19 years old, studying in Institute Sinaran, taking Commerce Course!’ Jude thought to herself. ‘I can’t be 26 now!’
Yet when she closed her eyes and thought back, the memories swam back to her. She began muttering to herself, “Oh yeah, I remember now…I’ve already finished schooling in Institute Sinaran. I even graduated from INTI College here and finished Level 3 in INTI College in KL…Oh…right, I’ve been working as a secretary in a firm for…4 years…”
That’s when she almost snapped and shrieked in horror. She grabbed her office bag, put on her work clothes and dabbed on some lipstick, complaining as she went, “Mummy! Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?! I’m gonna be late!”
Jude’s mother sighed with relief and said, “Now that’s my girl.”
Without finishing her breakfast, she dashed to catch the next LRT to get to her workplace.
--:--
Jude had a hard day at work as usual. Her boss scolded her for being late and her Head Secretary, who was (surprisingly) her high school schoolmate Jen, gave her tons and tons of work as punishment for being late. Jude’s colleague whispered that Jen was getting air-headed all over ever since she was promoted to Head Secretary by the boss, and she thinks that there must be something that spells ‘AFFAIR’ is going on between her and the boss. Jude found it hard to believe that Jen had changed so much since the last time she saw her the day before IS Night.
Jude lay back for a while and thought back. Memories of her in Institute Sinaran came running through her head, like it had just happened to her yesterday. In fact, everything that came through her mind seemed like yesterday.
“How can this be?” Jude whispered to herself. “I remember so much about the days in Institute Sinaran, but I haven’t much a clue about my life right now. It’s as if I have changed immediately from a 19-year-old girl to a 26-year-old office secretary. This can’t be! This is not me! That’s right, this is not the real me!”
“What are you babbling to yourself about?” Jude’s colleague tapped her on the shoulder. “The Head is calling you.”
Jude turned around and saw Jen gesturing her with a phone handle on her hand. She walked towards her and Jen gave her a superior look before saying, “5 minutes.”
“Hello?” Jude answered the call.
“Hey, Jude! It’s me!” It was Elaine on the phone. “I’m celebrating my 5th anniversary today! You’re invited, and I won’t take no for an answer!”
“Sure! I’ll be glad to go!” Jude said, relieved to hear someone familiar on the phone again. “Can I go there a little early? I wanna have a little chat.”
“No problem! Come as early as you want! We haven’t been talking for almost God-knows-how-many years now! It’s time to go down Memory Lane!”
“I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
It took her quite an effort to persuade Jen to let her leave early.
--:--
“Jude, I am so glad you’re here!” Elaine rushed to hug Jude.
“I’m glad to see you too,” Jude returned her hug and said, “Look, can we talk for a second?”
“Wait, I want you to check out this new lipstick commercial,” Elaine said as she turned on the TV. When Jude turned to look, she saw a scene where a sexy, beautiful lady accidentally falls onto a man in an LRT and smudges her lips onto his collar, but the collar didn’t stain. When Jude looked a little closer, she saw that it was actually Marilyn!
“Cool, huh? Marilyn is a big hit among the entertainment line and she has been doing commercials all around the globe! Of course, you know that, anyway. She’s now about to do a movie with George Clooney, Van Damme, Vin Diesel and Chris Rock entitled ‘The Sex Goddess’. Haley Joel Osment will be acting as well! Isn’t she lucky?”
“Yeah, she’s…doing real great,” Jude replied nervously. She was surprised to see a quiet girl like Marilyn would be in showbiz.
“So, what is it you want to talk about?” Elaine asked as she led Jude to the nursery room. “Come in. I can change the kids’ diapers as we speak.”
The nursery room was a heavenly thing to see. It was decorated fit for a baby prince. Jude looked in awe.
“Cool, huh?” Elaine asked. “I got these beauty room tips from Becka. She’s really good.”
“I can see that.”
That’s when she noticed the kids: all three of them. She actually had triplets! Jude was surprised at what a used-to-be skinny girl like Elaine could ‘do’ to have these. As Elaine fixed her kids, Jude told her everything.
“Let me get this straight. You think that you’re not the real you? Like your 19-year-old brain is sucked into a 26-year-old body?”
“That’s right,” Jude nodded.
“You got to be kidding me. Have you lost your memory or something? Too much work in the office, or are you trying to escape reality?”
“No, I’m not! I’m telling the truth; I don’t know anything much about us now! I can only remember the past, that’s it!”
Elaine stared at her like some crazy woman and grinned, saying, “Come on, no time for your comics anymore! Maybe later this evening during the party, a little champagne will help clear your mind.”
“But I’m…” Jude’s protest was cut short by a honking at the gate.
“Oh, that must be the big brother coming home. You wanna go see him?”
“You have…another kid?” Jude was really surprised at Elaine’s fertility.
Once they went out of the house and to the gates, Jude noticed that the teacher of the kindergarten bus that sent Elaine’s son home was none other than Justin! Jude almost gagged when she saw him carrying the boy with a smile on his face and handing him to Elaine. As the bus drove off, Jude looked at Elaine with questioning eyes.
“Don’t you remember? Justin quit his job as a forensic police when his niece was killed and he had to handle the case. Turned out it was his own dad who killed his niece and he was devastated. He couldn’t stand the pain of having to see a relation die and prosecute his own kin. He decided to take a much kinder job, which is to be a kindergarten teacher. He’s pretty a-OK now than before.”
As the minutes went by, Jude became more and more convinced that she was not the real her. If she was, how could she not remember any detail about her life after Institute Sinaran and about her friends? How come the memory of the institute was still fresh in her mind? That did not make sense!
“Hi, Elaine! Sorry we’re late.”
It was Rach and Annie. Rach was almost as tall as Jude now and Annie was much slimmer and prettier than before. Jude couldn’t help feeling amazed.
“No, you girls are just in time. The other guests haven’t arrived yet, unfortunately, and the man is no where to be found!” Elaine joked.
“I got us some Martini,” Annie said as she handed the cold bottle to Elaine.
“So how are the stocks going on?” Elaine asked.
“Ugh! Not too good. The M&M’s and the Salt & Pepper are going down and the rival TicTacs are rising like wild. I had to sell out everything!”
“You’re a stock broker?” Jude asked.
“Duh! Doesn’t your boss update you or something?” Annie said with an air of pride in her. “Your company’s shares are on my table, you know. I bet you don’t even know that Rach has already received The Golden Book Award for her best-selling book ‘So Cliché, It’s Not Even Funny’ Series, huh?”
Jude wanted to say no but she’d rather just keep quiet.
“Ah, finally the husband’s here!” Rach exclaimed as she turned to the door. Jude turned to look. There he was, standing there, her dream prince, her crush: Mark David. He looked so professional and smart, with his thick eyebrows and moustache. He seemed so mature than before. Jude couldn’t help being mesmerized.
“Honey, where have you been?” Elaine whined playfully as she held Mark David’s arm around her.
“Sorry, Ellie. I simply must get this roast,” Mark David replied, kissing her on the forehead. “An anniversary is not complete without a roast, you know.”
Jude’s world suddenly collapsed. How could this be? Why was Elaine married to Mark David? Why wasn’t it her? Like a thunderbolt, the bitter memory crashed through her mind: wedding bells, a walk down the aisle, vows made, kisses given, confetti thrown…yet it was Elaine and Mark David doing all this and not her. She was part of the guests invited to attend their wedding! It wasn’t her wedding! It was Elaine’s wedding! She remembered breaking up painfully with Mark David after she went to INTI College, and now he has taken Elaine as his lawful wedded wife instead!!
Jude couldn’t take it anymore. She ran out of the living room crying. Everyone was surprised at her sudden behaviour. As she dashed out of the gates, Elaine called after her.
“Go and see her! You’ll remember everything then! I’m sure of it! Go and see her!”
--:--
Jude knew who she meant. It was Becka. She may not stand out much like the rest of the group, but she had both the brains and beauty, and she had a great memory. Surely she’ll update her on things.
When she went to her office, no one knew where she was. Everyone said that she had quit her job a few years ago and moved somewhere in the suburbs, losing contact with the rest of the world. No one knows how to get to her anymore. Downcast, Jude left the office with a heavy heart.
Outside the building where Becka worked, she was greeted by a familiar face.
“Cyril?”
“You’re looking for Becka, right?” Cyril asked. This was like almost the third time she met. The last two times was during her days in Institute Sinaran.
“Yeah. Do you know where she is?”
“Hop in. I’ll take you there.”
So saying, she went into Cyril’s car that had seen better days. They had a long drive down through the suburbs. After which seemed like a few hours, they finally reached the foot of a small hill. Jude got off the car and saw that on the hill was the most beautiful bungalow she had ever seen. There is no other design as beautiful as this.
“Beautiful, isn’t it? She designed that house before her wedding,” Cyril said as he went back to his car. “Well, I’d best be going now.”
“Cyril? Why? Aren’t you going to come with me to the house? I thought you…”
“No one wants to marry someone as low-rated as I am. Look at how successful she is. I’m still under construction working. We’re not meant for each other.”
Cyril drove off, leaving Jude to herself. Slowly she walked up the hill and towards the house. She saw Becka sitting at the porch with…
“Caleb?” Jude was really surprised.
“Jude! What a pleasant surprise! It’s been a while since we met.”
“What are you doing here? Becka, what…?”
Her words were cut short. She saw Becka thin and pale, her eyes staring into space, oblivious to everything around her. She had a bag hanging from the pole attached to the wheelchair she was sitting. On both her wrists were deep scars, like she was slashed by a piece of glass or some sort.
“What…happened…?”
“It’s not surprising that you don’t know,” Caleb chuckled bitterly. “Becka and I have been married for years now. She was more into her work and such, so she hadn’t much time to be in contact with you guys. A few years ago, she designed a home for an ambassador, yet it collapsed during a landslide. It was an accident, really, and no one blamed her for it, but she kept blaming herself. She kept thinking that she should’ve make the house a little sturdier or it wouldn’t have collapsed and killed the ambassador’s whole family. She tried to commit suicide but we saved her just in time. Yet she lost too much blood that her brain has sort of malfunctioned. She can’t hear you now and probably won’t ever respond to you anymore than she responded to me.”
Jude broke into tears all over again. This cannot be happening! This just cannot be happening! It was bad enough that she wasn’t working in the field she wanted and that she found out that she wasn’t married to her crush. Now she had lost another best friend! This wasn’t fair! This wasn’t the life she expected it to be! This wasn’t her future; this was this Jude’s future, not the real Jude’s future! This wasn’t real! Not real at all!!!
“No! No, this can’t be happening! It’s not true!” Jude wailed, unable to take the truth that was in front of her eyes.
“I know it’s hard to accept this—I’ve been fighting this for quite a while. It is sad for my wife, but reality is just so cruel.”
“No, it’s not supposed to happen! This is not the real me! I’m not 26 years old yet! I’m still 19, still studying in Institute Sinaran! Give me back my life! I want my life back!!”
“Soul…Reaper…Soul Reaper…”
Jude looked up and was surprised to see Becka talking. She went on her knees and came up to Becka, saying, “Becka? Becka, you’re talking! You’re talking! I can’t believe this!”
“Soul Reaper…Takes your soul…Shift you to…the future…Let you see…the bitter part…of your life…after school…This…future is not…impossible…”
“What? How did you know all this?” Jude was surprised.
“Read books…free time…Come here…” Becka was struggling to speak. Jude leaned nearer to Becka. She laid her shaking hand on Jude’s head and muttered, “I have…spell…Take away…Soul Reaper…Goodbye, Jude…Create your own…future…”
Jude heard Becka mumbling something gibberish, maybe in Latin. Before she slipped to unconsciousness, she thought she saw a blue-looking being with three large fingers and toes and a scarf over his face, revealing his glaring yellow eyes…
--:--
Jude woke with a start when she heard her alarm clock rang. She got up in a thrice and check her features. Same clean, cut hair; same 19-year-old face; same everything. It was like everything that happened to her was just simply a dream.
As she walked to school, she saw that everything was back to normal. Everyone was in their original selves: Annie, Rach, Becka, Mark David, Elaine, Marilyn and even Caleb.
“Morning, guys!” Jude said gleefully.
“You seemed awfully cheerful today,” Annie said. “Had a great dream last night?”
“Well…let’s just say I’m glad I’m awake.”
“Why? Afraid that you’ll never get to see your dear Boy-Boy?” Marilyn grinned slyly. Everyone laughed at her joke. Mark David protested loudly but Jude suddenly took his hand.
“Let them be. They…are quite right.”
Soon everyone oohed at Jude and Mark David who were blushing redder than tomatoes.
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