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The Twizzler Man

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Do you know the story of the Candy man? Yes, the same from the 1992 film based on a short story by Clive Barker. Candy man is a twisted amalgamation of classic myths and modern horror. The candy man could be compared to the uber classic “Bloody Mary,” tale. But this guy has a hook and has some strange relationships with bees. There is an interesting back story to the candy man that places him on his own shelf in the urban lore bookshelf. I’ll let you research that for yourself if you’re not already familiar.

At its most basic, I can explain the tale like this: Say his name five times in front of a mirror and you will die and incredibly fantastic death. Why would you invite your own demise? Because it’s just a game, right? It plays on all of our childhood curiosities and fears. Say bloody mary three times into the mirror. no, YOU do it! We all know nothing will happen. So why won’t you just say it then?

So, we are all caught up on the candy man. Have you then heard of the twizzler man? A more specific sugar-themed character. No, you haven’t heard. Well then. Please, sit back, relax, grab a bag of popcorn and your favorite sweet treat. Turn the lights off. At least dim them.

1975. America’s Bicentennial.
This story revolves around Alford Welsh. Alford lived by himself in his family’s farmhouse for his entire life. He grew up milking cows, mending fences, and preparing various livestock for consumption. To both commercial and individual sale. Alford had several siblings helping with the various tasks around the farm. Throughout the years they all found different callings. Alford stayed. When both of his parents passed, one not too far from the other, the Welsh family farm was solely his. Most farming families had children just for the help. Alford never found his way to this path. Awkward, tall, and skinny, and perpetually smelling like cow dung, it just didn’t seem in the cards for him. Being a farmer is a noble job. They produce the food that feeds much of the country. This was before the Wal-Mart style farms that mechanically and methodically produce genetically enhanced animals that are now delivered to our door.

Being a farmer didn’t make him unappealing to women. He lived in a rural farmland where farming was what most of them did. No, Alford was.. off. The word back then might have been a “spazz,” or “touched.” He wasn’t. Alford was incredibly intelligent. He read every paper he could find, excelled in math and science in school, before having to focus more on his work at home. The stories that came out after the… after were alarming. The neighbor’s complained of missing pets, and more than one claimed to see Alford attempting to peep at the girls under the schools’ bleachers during Friday night football games. None of these confirmed of course.

By the year 1975 he was an adult, firmly handing the Welsh family farm estate. For years the farm was staying above water. Impressive, being that he had no children of his own to help with the multiple chores needed to keep up daily production. There is no job to small on a farm. It was here that he enlisted the help of a handful of town boys. Alford made it known that the help was needed, and he’d even pay a meager wage if his friends in the community would oblige. Alford was strange, sure, but he was not disliked at all.

He was also known as kind of the town handy man. Another by-product of what might be known today as “being on the spectrum,” he had a mechanical mind that allowed him to fix anything from the school drinking fountain to one of his colleague’s heavy duty John Deere tractors. It kept him calm.

If you grew up in a rural area, especially pre-internet era, you could imagine how valuable someone like Alford would be. Calling an actual mechanic wouldn’t only take time but would hurt your wallet pretty bad. Alford barely asked for a 25-cent bottle of coca cola.

Alford kept busy between his farm work and his small-town projects. He truly loved giving work to the town children. It was good experience for them, and it helped him mighty. Keeping the pens clean was just one crucial job that kept his farm working. He maintained this goodwill for quite a long time. Until children started missing.

It was a story that rocked this small farming community. Police were perplexed. A small-town force was not equipped to investigate over a dozen missing children. The necessary technology was not there to help. When one of the missing children turned up dead, massacred in a heinous fashion, it changed many lives. All that was found near the unfortunate 13-year-old child was one shoe and just two pieces of twizzler candies.

Current year, 2022 Anno Domini.
Mr. Dark Night. One of, if not the first Youtuber to feature mainly scary content. Real name unknown. He must have decided early that he would not reveal his identity but was totally fine with revealing what he looked like. 2006 was a different world in Youtube terms. There really were no “Vtubers,” back then either way.

Mr. DN, as he’s known to most of his subscribers, started doing the now well-known countdown of scariest.. whatever. It could be top 9 scariest buildings, ghost sightings, abandoned psych wards, etc. He smartly moved to actually investigating some of these famous haunts right when the ghost hunter fever hit in about 2007.

If you were around during this time, bless you. Especially if you loved paranormal culture. “Ghost hunting,” was seen as kind of lame to put it plainly, on mainstream network television. Even cable TV. Eventually the paranormal community broke down the walls of Jericho, letting the powers that be know they wanted content of ghost sightings, creepy shadows, and EVPS (electronic voice phenomena.) Mr. DN was right there. Bringing his team of rag tag friends to attempt to pierce the veil in such sights as the clown motel in Tonopah, Nevada, the Stanley hotel in Colorado, and the defunct Sloss furnace in Birmingham, Alabama. He even did a tour of some of Europe’s most famous haunts, traversing some of the most interesting medieval settings in history. His channel exploded.

Which brings us here. Mr. Dark Night has teased his next investigation. He and his team will be traveling to the middle of the United States plains to see if this modern day “Twizzler man,” legend is indeed fact or fiction.

“What’s up guys! Mr. DN here. Welcome dark nation, we are here, HERE in the supposed town that the legendary twizzler man legend was born. A lot of you asked for this and I have to say that I was completely unfamiliar with this one. Candy man, heard of. Bloody mary, heard of. The birthday face guy, the April fool’s killer, I know. But this one.. this one was different.”

“Apparently back in the mid 70’s there was an unfortunate rash of missing children in this rural farm town. A dozen children went missing, from what I could research. Some of them turned up.. in the worst way imaginable. You all know me; I don’t dive into the grotesque or gore aspects. You can find another content creator for that. You can also search this online for yourself. There were 3 children that were found deceased. Unceremonious is the word that comes to mind. The last victim was found with a couple twizzler candies next to his corpse, hence the sick name of this urban legend. Not one arrest has ever been made.”

“I was curious as to a basic history of twizzlers. Seems like they are somewhat new, no? Well apparently, twizzlers were introduced in 1929. After World War 1 and before World War 2. Hersheys produced them, in fact.”

Now it’s somewhat noteworthy that Dark Night is filming this as part of his TV show. Some from the younger generation might see this as a step backward. Online media is clearly the king at this moment. Television is quickly being seen as the way of the dinosaur. But Mr. DN is a little older than the average Youtuber. He’s one year from becoming 40 years old, meaning that he still holds a special place in his heart for TV. Getting your own show on basic cable is an accomplishment. He’s more than thrilled to be hosting his own 30 minute, highly edited, show on one of the travel channels that hosts such paranormal bangers these days.

The Dark Night crew pulls up to the alleged Welsh farmhouse in a convoy of about 4 black Cadillac Escalade rentals. Not only were they slick and stylish, but they are also still a symbol of making it. And they have room for the crew and their modest cache of TV equipment. The scout crew had already set up at the farmhouse. DN did not want to see the place ahead of time. He wanted a shot of him driving/walking up to the site of what may be one of America’s lesser-known serial killer’s abode. He made the right call.

“Yo”.. Dark Night looks in stunned silence. “What is this, some Freddy Krueger shit?” One of his producers’ frowns, starting to remind him he can’t curse, but quickly thinks better of it. We can easily edit, or censor that. Let the man continue with his genuine reaction.

“It’s true.. they burned this man’s home, with him inside.” Mr. DN takes a moment to let this location wash over him. Here’s a spot in the middle of miles of farmland. Nothing else would be notable about this piece of land, except that we are looking at the charred remains of a home attached to a legend that has never been introduced to the larger American audience. All DN saw was the remains of a stone chimney, and a perimeter of what used to be a home. A slab of old concrete made up the base, and a basement hatch could be made out on one of the sides of the home. Not sure if this was a fruit or meat cellar, or what it was meant for. It appeared the home itself did not have a basement.

“Ok guys, we’re going to set up here and start taking a preliminary look at this area. Tonight, my team and I will be doing some sessions trying to summon the twizzler man. I’ll explain the ritual later.” “I just can’t believe this place is actually real. How does no one know about this?” Mr. DN then goes into a little more history of the lore.

Town historians estimate that between the years of 1975 and 1981 more than a dozen children had gone missing from this small-town farming community. A lot of parents had gained suspicion of Alford being the key suspect, as the children that had been loaned out as help had been the ones missing. The police could never make a connection to Alford. One unnamed parent told the local paper that he thought it was weird that all Alford ever asked for was for a bottle of coke, and maybe a package of twizzlers. When the twizzler candy was found at the site of one of the last victims, the town was livid. Not waiting for the Police to continue their investigation, which they already felt was lacking, they apparently marched to the Welsh residence with pitchforks and torches, ala Frankenstein, and burned the home down. Knowing, or maybe not knowing that Alford was inside. Again, this is all part of the legend. The house was burned down, that we know is fact. And we know that now seeing it. Alford was also found burned to death inside. He never received a burial, or an obituary. This has the feel of a small town keeping this story under wraps and just sweeping it under the proverbial rug. Chilling stuff.

The night of the investigation: 2022.
“What’s up Dark Nation, it’s your boy, Mr. Dark Night again. I already gave you a quick history lesson on the Twizzler man. Now, did you know that almost 47 years later, people were going missing again in this same town? I know, can this get anymore “Nightmare on Elm Street?” “This time though, it’s not like he's going after the children of the parents that killed him. A strange game has surfaced by seemingly unrelated folks. Amateur ghost hunters and urban legend fans have grabbed hold of this new “Twizzler man challenge,” on reddit and 4chan. They flock to this farm town to complete this game, some to their own demise.” Mr. DN then puts the disclaimer that while some mysterious deaths have occurred by outsiders to this area, none have officially been confirmed as a result of playing this “internet ritual.”

Here is the game: Travel to the site, or even the town where Alford lived. For liability’s sake, I will not be naming the actual town, or state.

Find a solid base, such as concrete or wood on the ground, and draw a door in chalk. Surround yourself in a protective barrier of salt. Bring 12 pieces of twizzlers as an offering, or homage to the apparent victims.

Repeat the following, by yourself or with a group. Doesn’t matter.
“Alford see me, Alford hear me, Alford tell me what happened.” Say it three times.. After the incantation is done, close your eyes. Keep them closed for at least 30 seconds. When you open them, count the candies. If there are less than you placed, you are successful and the twizzler man will be visiting you soon. To do what, no one has documented. If you have more.. then we all know it might be too late.

Mr. Dark Night takes a moment with his crew, doing their pre-game ritual at every investigation. It’s showtime.

“WHAT’S UP DARK NATION! It’s the moment you have been waiting for. We are here at the supposed site of possibly one of the darkest, deadliest killers in our history. But.. is it true? We’re gonna do the ritual TONIGHT! Stay tuned fam.

DN’s right hand girl, Ms. DN chalks the ground where Alford lived and died. She then pours the salt and places 12 twizzler candies as carefully as if they contained anthrax. She nods to the host of the show, letting him know it is ready.

“Filming?” He asks. A nod from the camera man confirms they are. “Ok Dark nation, we are ready. I will now step into the circle.” Dark Night takes a breath, slowly falls to his knees, and starts the chant. “Alford.. see me. Alford.. hear me.. Alford.. tell me what happened.” The camera zooms mythically on Mr. Dark Night’s face. 30 seconds of eerie silence, then he opens his eyes. He looks around, taking in the environment that doesn’t seem to change. He looks to his producer, his partner, and his cameraman. “I don’t feel anything, do you guys? The camera shakes a confirmational “no.”

“Wait.. how many twizzlers did you put down,” he says. “12… yea, 12, like the ritual said, his partner quietly speaks. Mr. DN counts the twizzlers, mouthing the number. After counting them once, a over present look of fear overcomes him. He counts again. 1..2..3….. There are 14 licorice pieces here. You said.. No.. 

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Credits

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