I was lucky when I was a kid. I lived in the country and had open-minded parents that didn't really care where I went, what I did, or how late I stayed out. Call it bad parenting if you want, but they trusted me to not get into too much trouble. I of course did still get into trouble, but not of my own making.
Khaled was my best friend. He lived right next door and during the summer, it wasn't a question whether or not we were going to hang out, it was understood that we were every day. He was older than me by one year, and kind of acted like my big brother. When crossing a small stream or walking through thorns, I'd hop into his back and he would hoof it with no complaints. Even though many times afterward blood would trickle down his leg. I never really saw him get scared. Not of anything really, except the last day I ever saw him.
One day in early July we decided to pack a backpack with snacks and capri suns and hike through the wilderness to a big beautiful oak tree that we favored among so many around the area. This tree was perfect for climbing, had plenty of shade, and was the ideal place for two kids to chill on a summer afternoon while discussing video games and naked ladies.
We walked over 2 miles without any problems, but as we neared the tree, I swear I could just feel this looming sense of something different. Not necessarily something wrong, just different from the norm. We had done this same walk and climbed this same tree dozens of times and I had never had this feeling before today. We reached the tree, both of us sweating. It was hot as hell that day and I was anxiously waiting to gulp down 80% of my water that I brought. As we climbed the tree, I heard something. It sounded like someone or something was below us, but when I looked down, nothing was there.
We settled onto the fattest branch that was great for sitting, with maximum shade. Khaled unzipped the pack and tossed a turkey and cheese sandwich at me. Laughing as I almost dropped it, I said "dude!" He laughed and responded "relax, I knew you wouldn't". We began eating and talking. He was going on about a substitute teacher that he had earlier that year who he swears had a crush on him. Meanwhile I was carving Goku into the tree right next to the faded Cloud Strife. Suddenly, a man spoke from right below us. "Hi."
Khaled stopped mid sentence and we both stared down at this man like a couple of deer about to get plowed on the highway. Honestly this man had scared the living shit out of me. We were in the middle of nowhere and had never seen another person around here. I was frozen, but Khaled replied, "Hi." The man looked as if he was intentionally trying to look creepy. He wore a dirty plain white t shirt, and what looked to be old brown slacks that were missing the button and were only held up by the zipper. He had long brown hair that was slicked back into a pony tail. He stood there with an exaggerated upwards glare at us. Imagine standing right up against a tall skyscraper, putting your chin up to it and looking straight up. That's what he was doing, all the while, smiling from ear to ear.
"Can you come down here please so I can show you this cool thing I just got?" I looked at Khaled, shocked at his question. Khaled, without missing a beat replied, "no thanks". The man's smile vanished and was replaced by utter devastation, as if you just told him his house burned down. The way his expression changed in an instant was nothing short of terrifying. "That will break my heart baby. Look, it's so SHARP."
Now, I'm honestly not sure what was more alarming, him calling my friend baby, or the giant butcher's knife he revealed from behind him. He held it up se we could see it clearly. It looked brand new and shined as if it were covered in olive oil. Khaled usually didn't show fear or hesitation when it came to adults, but at that moment when I looked at him, expecting him to shut this guy down, his eyes were wide, and I saw them fill with water. In that moment Khaled's reaction made this real. We were in a very serious situation.
Khaled looked at me for the first time since this stranger appeared. I could read his mind. He was scared and no idea what to say or do. Somehow, don't ask me how, I summoned courage I didn't know I had and said to the man, "it's really cool." The man shifted his gaze from Khaled to me. "Get down here." His smile returned. The courage I just spoke of was gone in an instant. My eyes welled up. Khaled forced words out and I could hear that innate protective instinct he had for me. "He's not getting down. We just got here and we're just hanging out. Not being bad."
Those last three words haunt me. To this day they haunt me. When Khaled spoke those last three words, I could tell they were spoken while holding back full on tears. I had never heard him sound and act like a little kid, but in his pure fear in that moment he sounded like a six-year old. It was heartbreaking. He was scared.
I looked down at the man, tears streaming down my cheeks at this point. "You're not in trouble. I just want to show you this and I'll leave. Promise." The man could definitely see that I was crying and it didn't seem to bother him, which was absolute confirmation to me that he was in fact there to do us harm, of some kind. What happened next is the reason I have therapy three times a week. For over twenty years now. Khaled looked at me and shut his eyes tight, preparing to unveil every ounce of courage he had at his young age. "Okay I'll come down and see it. Just for a second. Then we have to go." The man smiled wider somehow at this. "I thought you said you just got here. What's the hurry now?"
Khaled hesitated, and responded after four or five seconds, "I know but...his mom said we couldn't play anymore if I got him home late." I looked back and forth at Khaled and the man, having zero clue what was happening now or what would happen next. "Good idea. Better get home before it gets dark. That's when the monsters come out." The man's smile abruptly vanished again. "Come on now, get down. Hurry up." Khaled looked at me and I shook my head as tears erupted from eyes as if to say urgently, "No."
Khaled whispered "I'll be right back." I started shaking my head, and was mortified to see the man smiling and staring at me as I looked down as Khaled descended. When Khaled was within reach, the man put the knife away and with both arms grabbed Khaled's arms gently. "Here, careful, I got ya. Here, come over here and I'll show ya." The man started walking Khaled away, and he looked up at me one more time, with pure fear on his face. The strong, protective big brother was gone.
They disappeared from my view, and then there was nothing. It was as if nothing had happened. I was sitting in this tree alone, and for a moment I imagined that I had made the trip solo. That Khaled was safe somewhere else, and all was fine. But it wasn't.
I heard nothing as I focused on hearing anything. Anything at all. Minutes passed by like hours, and eventually I came to the horrifying conclusion...they were not coming back. Adrenaline started to kick in now, and I needed to get down. To see where they were, to leave, to just not be in this tree by myself anymore. When I reached the bottom with the backpack tightly strapped, I looked around everywhere. Silence and nothing. They were gone. I realized I had to get to adults, now. I had to let them know what happened. I ran. Faster than I ever have before or since, and when I reached my house, I threw up on my front lawn from exhaustion and desperation. My mom was on the phone sitting on the porch. She promptly ended her call and came to me.
The details from that point are typical. Calls were made, searches were done. They didn't find Khaled. They didn't find any trace of him at all.
It's been many years, and I think about my friend who was taken almost every day. I'd rather find out what happened to him than anything. I'd rather know than to win the lottery. I'd rather know he was killed than not know. Not knowing has made my life black and gray. Sadness and without faith in goodness.
The only thing that helps is telling myself I was wrong. The strong and protective big brother never left him that day. It was never gone. It is the only reason I'm telling this story now. He was my brother and he protected me. I think he knew what would happen, but he made damn sure it wasn't going to happen to me, and it's not something I will ever take for granted.
Comments