Idiot’s Guide To The End Of The World

1. If the world is ending, your first goal is to determine why. Zombies? Aliens? Nuclear war? Giant meteors? Flesh-eating nanobots? Understanding the threat early will improve your odds.

2. Ditch your friends and family next, preferably before they die in your arms. The Apocalypse is not the time to deal with emotional baggage.

3. Find a group of plucky survivors with a wide range of skills. But more importantly, none of them should be better looking than you. This way, the others will instinctively trust you and value your good genes. The only exception is if the group happens to include one beautiful person who is a true idiot. Beautiful idiots make excellent distractions when they die screaming, thus allowing everyone else to escape.

4. Cultivate your common sense. Authoritative leaders go crazy, super-intelligent nerds get smacked down by hubris, and heart-of-gold badasses get eaten while being stupidly heroic. Common sense will save your ass.

5. Befriend an animal. Their hisses and growls may come in handy. (But don’t get too attached. See tip #2.)

6. At the darkest moment, abandon your common sense to chase after the smallest, most wildly improbable hope you can find. You’ll only get one shot at this, so time it perfectly (or risk becoming the beautiful idiot).

7…

—
The message goes on from there. It’s almost amusing, for spam. Looking up from your phone, however, you notice the people around you are all looking over each other’s shoulders and comparing screens.
Did they all get the same…?

Bingbingbingbingbing.

Dozens of message alerts go off at once. You look down again.

—

Fun’s over. Get ready.

—
Credits to: IPostAtMidnight

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