“What are you talking about?”
I repeated myself, trying to keep my voice even and my expression calm. Inside though, I was trembling. What was wrong with him? Matt looked happy, excited even, as he talked about our deadbeat brother somehow curing Mom’s cancer. It made me angry—angry at Jeremy for lying to him and angry at Matt for believing whatever bullshit he’d been sold. But it also made me afraid. Matt was immature at times, but he wasn’t stupid or overly gullible. And yet he didn’t seem uncertain or at all worried about what he’d said, and his tone and gaze were still steady when he replied to my question.
“Jeremy…Look, I know it sounds unbelievable, but he has some kind of power. I’ve seen him do stuff, even before I saw him in person, he could do stuff I could see from that far away. I’ve known for awhile he was into some pretty weird, pretty special…something, but I had no idea that he could do anything for Mom. When I finally told him she was sick, he was on it right away. He said he’d learned of a method of healing things like that. Said it could only be done certain places, but he knew just the spot.” He gestured around at the woods outside the cabin. “And then we started…” He trailed off as I raised my hand to stop him.
“Wait a fucking second. So he’s what, like a psychic healer or something?” I couldn’t keep the anger out of my voice. “I…Jesus, Matt, what kind of bullshit is this? Did you give him any money? Oh God, has he told Mom about this shit?”
Matt took a step back, seeming to be disconcerted for the first time since he started talking about Jeremy curing cancer. “I…I…I don’t know everything, okay? It’s hard to explain. For me to keep all of it in my head. But he can do it. I know he can.” As he talked, his voice began to crack and to my dismay, I saw he was on the verge of tears.
Letting out a sigh, I reached out and touched his arm. “It’s okay. Just…Does Mom know about this? Does Trudy?”
My brother shook his head, his eyes lowered. “No, I don’t think so. Not yet. I think maybe he wanted to just hang out for awhile before he talked to her about it. You know, visit with everybody.”
I nodded distractedly, my mind racing. I had to stop this. Our mother was intelligent and level-headed, so I doubted she’d buy his magic healing bullshit any way, but even if she didn’t, she’d let him try. She’d do just about anything to keep him happy and around again. But what would that do to her? Learning that her oldest son was either crazy or so shitty that he was willing to trick his own mother? Or worse yet, if she had become so desperate and strange in her struggle with the cancer that she was willing to grasp at any “miracle cure”, how much harm might be done when it failed?
Squeezing Matt’s arm, I nodded. “I hope you’re right. Because this has to stop. I need to talk to Jeremy and find out what the fuck is going on before the damage is already done.” With that, I headed back toward the cabin. I’d only walked a few steps before stopping again.
Were those electric candles in the windows?
It was. Old-fashioned Christmas candles like we’d had as kids. When had they put those up? And…when had it gotten so dark so fast? I looked back at Matt, who still looked worried and scared, but now in a disconnected and fading way.
“Has it gotten dark really fast, or is it just me?”
Matt gave me a shrug and a small smile. “I don’t know, maybe. I guess it gets dark extra fast out in the country.”
I frowned at him. “Yeah, but we were only out here for like ten minutes, and it was full-on bright out. It’s like three or four, right?” I dug in my pocket to pull out the phone and felt a folded piece of paper there. The note. The fucking note from the rock house. I felt a new panicked flutter in my chest at the memory of that place, of seeing the glow from the newly-lit candle inside. Looking back to the candles in the windows, I suddenly didn’t want to go back into the house at all. It was stupid and irrational, but something in my core, some buried instinct, was trying to warn me. Trying to tell me that what was inside that house was dangerous and wrong. That I needed to head in the other direction before it was too late.
I pushed the thought aside, ignoring the paper as I grabbed my phone and brought it out. I was going to confront Jeremy in private, but I was also going to record it. I didn’t like being sneaky, but if he started saying a bunch of crazy shit or admitted that it was all a scam, I wanted proof I could play for Mom if it ever became necessary. I felt bad for doing it, but fuck it. I’d be the bad guy if it meant keeping Jeremy from fucking our family up worse than he already had.
But that’s when I noticed the time on the phone. 8:12. Looking up at Matt again, I turned my phone towards him. “How the fuck is it this late? We haven’t been out here for hours.”
Matt looked uncomfortable and shrugged again. “I don’t know. Maybe we just lost track of…” I was to him before he could finish, grabbing the front of his shirt as I pulled him closer.
“Don’t you lie to me. Did you do something to me? Did you put something in my drink? Did Jeremy?”
His eyes widened. “What? No, fuck no. Who do you think we are? Do you really think I’d do something like that? That he would?”
Letting go of his shirt, I rubbed my head as I shook it. “I don’t know. I…no, I know you wouldn’t. Him? I have no idea, especially with what you’ve been telling me. But how did I lose three or four hours like that? It’s fucking dark out.”
Matt looked past me to the house and then up at the night sky. “Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t remember blacking out or anything, but that’s how it is some times when Jeremy does things. Time gets weird or jumbled maybe. It’s all very confusing.” My younger brother’s voice seemed to grow thin and frail as he spoke, his face looking more tired and worn than I’d ever seen it. “I…It won’t stay in my head good, you see.”
This was all wrong. I didn’t know what he’d done to Matt, what he’d done to me, but I had to stop Jeremy before he hurt Mom and Trudy. Before it was all too late. Turning back to the house, I strode across the yard and up the steps. I could hear Christmas music playing before I even got to the door, and by the time I was inside, it felt as though I’d stepped into an explosion of holiday sights and sounds and smells.
There was a giant Christmas tree, fully decorated and lit, standing in the corner of the living room. The mantle and banisters were all wrapped with fresh green garland and red velvet bows, and nearly every table had some kind of snow angel or Christmas-themed animal or other miscellaneous holiday bric-a-brac. From the kitchen, I could smell what I thought was the combination of roast in the oven and cookies cooling on the stove. And at the table, Mom and Trudy were glowing as they talked to Jeremy, their voices low but hurried, their eyes wide and glossy to an almost manic sheen. Trudy seemed to notice me first and gave me a smile.
“Did you two have a nice walk? We were starting to wonder if you were going to be home for supper.”
Matt had come in behind me, and while I saw him taking in all the changes to the cabin since we were inside last, he didn’t seem as amazed or terrified as I was. Instead, he just looked exhausted. Trying to muster a smile, he nodded at Trudy. “Yeah, we had a good time. Looks like you’ve been decorating.”
Mom patted Jeremy’s arm and beamed at us. “That was all your brother. He did it…” She glanced at him, and he nodded as though giving approval. Looking back to us, she finished her thought as she snapped her fingers. “…just like that.” Looking back at Jeremy, she gave a little giggle as she squeezed his hand.
I felt like I was in some kind of dream or nightmare. One where things start off normally and then get stranger and stranger, but you’re the only one that seems to notice. The only one not in on the joke. Ignoring our mother, I stared at Jeremy.
“So you decorated all this, huh? With what stuff? Did you sneak up here with boxes of decorations? Did you manage to do all this while we were just outside for like five or ten fucking minutes?” I could hear that I was yelling, but I didn’t care. I was scared and angry and sick of all this Jeremy bullshit. “Answer me, you fuck.”
Jeremy just smiled as he listened to my rantings. When I took a breath, he cut in. “Kat, I understand you’re upset. That’s my fault, I’m afraid. I’ve come here, disrupted your lives, and if I were a betting man, which I am, I’d bet that Matt has told you the other reason I’m here…other than to see all of you again.” At this, both Trudy and Mom looked back to him with an expression somewhere between awe and a kind of hunger. “I could lie, or let them defend me, but you’re too smart for that, aren’t you? You’ve always been so smart and sensitive. It’s what has always made you so special to me.”
He stood up from the table, and despite myself, I began retreating into the living room. “Jeremy, I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I barely know you. You were never much of a brother to me and Matt, and well, I think you should just go. Before you make things worse.”
My mother glared at me and started to rise from her chair, but a light touch from Jeremy was all it took to sit her back down with a docile expression blossoming on her face. The whole time, his eyes never left my face, and as I reached the far wall of the living room, he began to approach.
His smile was small but satisfied as he drew nearer. “It’s too late for all that. The cat’s out of the bag. I told Mom what I can do for her, and she’s agreed to let me try.”
Swallowing, I forced myself to keep his gaze. “But what are you going to do for her? What are you going to do to her?”
Jeremy gave a short chuckle. “Nothing so sinister as you seem to think. It’s just a short ritual I’ve learned. A very powerful one for healing.” His expression grew more somber. “I believe it can cure her entirely.”
“So, what? Some kind of voodoo or something? I don’t understand why you’re doing this. How you got like this. You were always weird, but now you’re actually hurting our mother with this weird new age shit. Don’t you see that?”
His smile didn’t falter. “It’s not voodoo, and you know it’s not shit. Your fear and reluctance to accept doesn’t come from a lack of belief, but rather because you’re starting to understand there is far more to the world than you realized. I get it. The unknown is scary. It was for me too, at least at first.”
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to run out of the house, get in my car and drive away. Be far from Jeremy and whatever it was he was doing.
But then I looked past him to my family. Matt, who stood near the door looking dried up and terrified, a worried little old man. Mom and Trudy, both looking so happy and insane that it almost seemed painful, as though their eyes might pop out or their lips split at the seams any second. What had he done to them?
What else would he do if I abandoned them here?
But Jeremy was right. The time for lies was past. And I needed to get control of things before it was too late.
“Okay, I get it. You’re saying you’re magic or something, I guess. Fuck, maybe you are. I’m not oblivious to how the world works. I know there’s a lot of weird shit out there and some of it may even be real. But…even if you’re doing all this with some kind of special power or whatever…the decorations, making us lose time, whatever…that’s not the same thing as curing cancer. It’s not the same as putting our Mom…your Mom…at risk.”
He nodded. “I understand your concern. But I assure you there’s nothing risky about it. I’ll simply go into the other room with her for awhile. Perform the ritual with her, and then we’ll be done. We can hang out and have Christmas, or if you prefer, I can leave.”
I frowned and started to argue, but he cut me off.
“And before you protest too much, bear in mind that she is my mother too. And I have to do what I can to save her. This is what I can do. The art I’ve dedicated my life to, sacrificing much to learn.” He turned and pointed at Mom. She was still sitting with Trudy, staring at him raptly as he talked. “Besides, this is her life. Her choice. I know it’s hard to accept, but this isn’t really your decision.”
Sighing, I looked from her to Matt and then back to Jeremy. “But why do they all seem strange?”
He shrugged, his expression pained. “It’s hard accepting things like this exist. That some magic is real. People react in odd ways.” He glanced up at me. “You’ve just spent the last few minutes arguing against me curing our mother of cancer, for instance.”
I felt my face flushing. “That’s not the same thing, and you fucking…” He raised his hand to cut me off.
“I know. That was a low blow. I’m sorry. This isn’t easy for me either. And to be honest, I have used some techniques to calm them a bit. Nothing invasive, just some light hypnosis to take the edge off while we hash things out.”
I raised an eyebrow. “If you can do that, why not just do it to me too? Or just not include me at all if you knew I’d be a problem. You could have met them up here without me ever knowing.”
Jeremy looked genuinely surprised at that. “Oh no, Kat. You have to be here too. I wouldn’t dream of doing this without you being here to witness it all.” He glanced up, staring into the air as though looking at an invisible clock. “But we’ll have to talk more later. We’re entering the window and I need to get her prepared.”
I gave a start. “Now? You’re about to do it now?” Behind him, I saw Mom and Trudy already getting up and heading for a bedroom. Matt looked after them forlornly before sitting down on the sofa. Catching my eye, Jeremy nodded.
“Yes. Just stay here. It should all be done in a couple of hours.”
“Yeah, but shouldn’t we…”
Frowning, he reached forward and brushed his hand down my cheek. “Just sit and wait. Selah.”
I found myself sitting down before I realized it. I was still just as worried and scared, but as he followed Mom and Trudy into the room and shut the door, I had the thought that, while I could get back up, what was the point? It was Mom’s choice, and what could I really do to stop it?
I looked over at Matt and our eyes met. He was crying, his lips stretched tight in a strange smile as he made small clicking noises as though trying to speak. Or maybe he wasn’t trying to talk at all, but just making sad, terrified noises as he wept and smiled, unable to break free from whatever snare held his body and mind.
I wanted to comfort him, to tell him it would all be okay, but I didn’t have the words. I didn’t have any words left, as a matter of fact. So I just stared back at him, eyes streaming, making my own frustrated noises as I tried to talk or move. It was such an odd sensation. I should have still been terrified, and maybe I was, but I was also starting to feel very removed from everything. As though I had fallen down a deep, dark well and was having to painstakingly inch my way back up toward the light. If I could just break free, if I could just get to the door or even my…
And then Jeremy was back. He told us it had went very well and that our mother was sleeping right now. That she’d probably sleep through tomorrow afternoon as her body readjusted to no longer having to fight the cancer. Trudy wandered out as he spoke, giving us a wave and saying casually that she was heading to bed, as though she’d just got through watching a movie with her sister instead of participating in…whatever they’d done in there.
But I was regaining control of myself. I could feel my body relaxing, and it became easier to think again. When I tried to speak, the words came, though my throat felt raw and painful as I spoke them. “I want to see her.” I swallowed with a wince. “Now.”
Jeremy smiled and nodded. “Of course. Both of you should peek in at her. Just try to not wake her, okay?”
I glanced at Matt and he was getting up with the same stiff slowness that I was feeling. I still felt a low level of resentment for his role in all this, but when he offered his hand, I took it. We walked like Hansel and Gretel across the living room and into the darkened interior of the bedroom where Jeremy had performed his ritual.
I reached to turn on a light, but thinking better of it, I pulled out my cell phone instead. The battery was getting low, but I still had enough of a charge to use the light for a minute. The room looked normal—no blood on the walls or magic sigils on the floor. Mom was sleeping on her back, snoring lightly under a sheet and blanket that looked clean and ordinary. She really did look okay, even in the unforgiving halo of the phone’s flashlight. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d think that everything was compl…
That’s when I saw the mark.
It was on the side of her neck, a small red intersection of lines that nested there like a burn or an infected tattoo. Holding my breath, I leaned closer to look at it. It looked like an upside-down question mark with a line run through it and part of a sideways triangle intersecting it at different points.
What the fuck had he done to her?
I was turning to point it out to Matt when she suddenly sat up with a gurgling, choking sound. I stumbled back, my light dancing all over the walls before I caught my balance and shined it back on her. She wasn’t choking any more, but had turned to stare at us. Black ichor bubbled at the corners of her mouth, running down her jaws to stain the bed linens as she began to giggle and rock. The bedsheets slipped down, revealing her sagging, naked breasts and pale, wrinkled skin. Littered across that skin were more marks like the one I’d seen on her neck. As I watched in horror, all of the marks began to well up with the same black fluid that was still dripping from Mom’s mouth. And all the while, she kept looking at us and laughing her wet, creaky laugh.
I wanted to help her. I wanted to run away. I wanted to wake up from this impossible nightmare and never sleep again. But most of all I wanted the screaming to stop. The high, keening scream of someone or something in great pain or terror, it echoed off the wooden walls of the small bedroom and seemed to multiply, again and again, until I felt it might crack my skull in two. If I could only find who was screaming like that and make them stop for just a minute, I could think and try to…That’s when it struck me who was screaming in the dark like some trapped or dying animal.
It was me.
---
Credits
Comments