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The Comedian

I met Rick through a mutual friend that went to college with him. I was 17. He was my first kiss. When it happened, I begged him and his friends to stop. He just smiled at me and said, "Don't worry, it'll be over before you know it."

I met Jack on an online dating site. I was 19. He sent me a message and asked to meet at the local coffee shop and we hit it off. He was sweet. He used to run his thumb over my lips before he kissed me and tell me I was beautiful. Then he told me he loved me. A few months later, he told me that his wife was pregnant and we couldn't go on. I cried, pleaded for for answers.

He told me, "I never said you were the only one."

I met James at a bar. I was 21. I had a bad night at work and he bought me a few drinks. He even offered to drive me home after I had one too many. I gave him directions and I told him when he missed the turn. I told him he was making a mistake. He told me,

"You're not going home tonight, sweetie."

I found James at the bar. I had another bad night at work. I bought him a few drinks and offered him a ride home. He gave me directions and he told me when I missed the turn. He told me I was making a mistake.

I told him, "You're not going home tonight, sweetie."

I found Jack on an online dating site. No pictures of his wife or daughter. I made a new account and he asked me to meet him at the local coffee shop. He waited in that shop for about an hour before he made it back to the parking lot. We caught up at my place. I asked him how things were with his wife, I showed him the wedding ring I found in his back pocket. I ran my thumb over his lips. He cried, pleaded for answers. I'll never forget his face when his eyes got used to the lighting and he saw James chained in the corner, dick chopped off and thrown across the floor.

I told him, "I never said you were the only one."

I found Rick at his home. Nice apartment, definite bachelor pad. Nice view of the city. Big bed, probably expensive, helps put you into a nice deep sleep. We caught up back at my place.

Reminisced about those good college days. He almost untied himself, but I prepared well enough for that. He looked at the James. He looked at Jack. He looked at the cleaver in my hand. He begged me to stop.

I just smiled at him and said, "Don't worry, it'll be over before you know it."

by reddit user mostbeautifulplague via:


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