December 5, 2014
In my dream, I see a younger version of myself. I’m guessing 5 years old? I was playing in a sand box with my GI-Joes when all of a sudden, a bunch of older kids approached me and started kicking sand all over my face. I see myself trying to block the sand with my little hands and arms but with no luck. I don’t know how it’s possible but watching the occurrence made me tear as well. I felt the sand pricking my own two eyes… It hurts. Little me pleaded for them to stop in between sobs but they just continued on satisfying their cruel intent. But then someone shouted not too far away from the scene and told the bullies to stop picking on me. They ran away laughing and giving high fives to one another as if their task for today was fulfilled. I saw Uncle Dan. He rushed forward and picked me up telling me that it’s going to be okay. His eyes full of concern.
My dream then shifted into a different setting. It was our old house. I was playing in our backyard. Little me was so happy with his new red bouncing ball. I felt his excitement just like when I felt his pain from the sand incident. The excitement died out almost immediately when little me kicked the ball a little too strong and went over the fence. I was so scared that my parents would scold me about losing a newly bought toy so little me went out the backyard right away. I followed him and watched as he pick up the ball across the street. He was so relieved and was hurrying back inside the backyard when suddenly a large dog blocked him. It was really, really large for a 5 year old boy.
I attempted to rescue my younger self but then I realized that I’m just dreaming. I felt him panic and ran away without thinking. The large dog immediately sprang over him and started barking very, very loud. Little me screamed and attempted to push the dog away. The dog bit his arm and locked its fangs on it. We wailed in pain in chorus. I felt the blood trickling down my arms and the numbness after the excruciating pain. Although I don’t see any bleeding. In fact, all I see on me is a fading scar on my right forearm. However, I watched my younger self helpless, bleeding and in so much pain. Then out from nowhere, someone shove the dog off him. It was again Uncle Dan. He saw the blood and his face lost all its color. He picked me up telling me that it’s going to be okay. His eyes full of concern as he drove me straight to the hospital.
The dream again shifted. I was at school. It seems like I’m waiting outside the Principal’s Office. There were noises inside the room. I woman and a man having an argument. I saw my younger self nursing his palms. I stepped forward to get a better look and saw that his palms were bright red. Then just as I saw them, my own two palms ached as if someone just lashed a ruler on them. I looked closely and his hands does look like they’ve been hit by something. Both me and my younger self winced in unison. Then Uncle Dan stormed out the Principal’s Office. He was absolutely fuming. He knelt down and looked at my palms. It didn’t help with his rage. He asked me if I’m alright. I nodded ever so slightly. He leaned forward and whispered something to my younger self. I know that it was a promise. He promised me something which I can’t hear nor remember. Then I wake up.
It has been like this for weeks now. Same dream as if I’m watching a very old film from a projector over and over again. Though regardless how many times I dream about it, I can never hear nor remember what he whispered. I can never get to the point where the dream would reveal what he promised. I wanted to know. I felt the importance of it. There is a reason why the dream is recurring. I am now 25 years of age. I never had this dream before and it’s really getting into me.
It’s important for me to know this because I love my Uncle Dan. He’s the only relative I have ever known. I know in my heart that I love him. Even though the only memory that I have of him is when cops rounded our old house and dragged him into one of the police cars. I can still remember the look on his face while they were putting handcuffs on him. He was very calm and just stared at me the entire time. I don’t know why they needed 4 cops to do this to a single man but they sure looked tense. He looked at me as if saying that everything’s going to be okay. Which I find out of place considering that he’s the one in trouble and I should be the one telling him that. I returned his stare and just when they drove him away, my younger self mustered the strength to say the only thing I can… “Uncle Dan…”
I never saw him again after that. I’m not even allowed to visit him. Mom and Dad will never accept any conversation that brought him up as if it’s a restricted topic. I resent them for this because Uncle Dan has always been my “parent”. They were never home and now he’s gone. What’s weird is that I don’t have any other memories of him before they took him away. That’s probably the reason why I feel the urge to know what really happened now that my dream is actually giving me a glance from my subconscious. I believe that the dream actually is a suppressed memory from my childhood and I want to know why I can’t remember.
December 10, 2014
I attempted to access my subconscious to free my suppressed childhood memories. I visited a “Hypnotist” and we had a couple of sessions. Just when I was about to give up, I had a completely new dream last night and I sure was not expecting what I’ve seen.
In my dream, I saw my younger self in my room from our old house. Nothing notable at first but then I heard a noise. I saw little me panning his face to where the noise came from. We both have this “intrigued” look in our face. We both came outside the room and tried to find where the noise is coming from. Little me actually holding a space gun in the process as if he was in the verge of finding a secret evil lair in which he was unfortunately correct . We ended outside the old house where a separate tool house is located. I know Uncle Dan is very fond of DIY “stuff” and would always stay in his tool house for hours. The noise grew louder and louder as we approached. It’s sounded like an electric round saw. Little me peeped through a hole on the wooden tool house and saw Uncle Dan sitting on a stool, his back at me. He looked so busy. Little me was about to leave out of boredom when a sort of “stench” caught his attention once again.
Then it happened… I saw my younger self petrified and wide-eyed. He dropped his space gun which made an unmistakable “thud”. Uncle Dan stormed outside. He was no longer the concerned, harmless Uncle I’ve known for years but someone with a wild, crazy look on his face. He was sweating so badly. He has dirt all over his work apron. Most of which looked like…. Blood stains? I was so terrified of him. Even my little self sat there unmoving. But Uncle Dan just stood in front of him for what seemed like a long time and walked away.
The dream shifted and I’m now inside the tool house. I am no longer a third person. I’m alone. The stench doesn’t help with my hollow breathing. It smelled of spoiled meat and wood carvings. My eyes immediately darted on the farthest corner of the tool house. The room was dim and dust particles danced with the light shining from the top window. I saw something hanging from the left corner. A large mass of… fur? I am so terrified but I garnered all the strength left in me and stepped closer. To my horror, the figure looked very familiar. I have been face to face with it. I felt my scar burned as I realized what it was. I unconsciously placed the back of my hand to my mouth and stepped backward. As I stepped back, my balance failed me and I lay flat on the floor. I surely stepped on something “wet”. As I lay there, I felt droplets of liquid gracing my face. I looked up and I saw… just on top of me the most horrendous thing I can possibly find in a tool house.
December 11, 2014 | 1:37 A.M
I woke up sweating. It’s all coming back to me. The memories from my childhood… and I don’t want it! I grabbed my hair and screamed out loud. It was just too much! I’m breathing heavily as I sat on my bed staring blankly. I unconsciously dialed the number of my mom. After a few rings she answered.
MOM: Danny, what’s wrong? It’s past midnight.
ME: M-mom… I remember.
MOM: Remember what exactly honey?
ME: H-he killed them, didn’t he? U-uncle Dan… H-He killed those bullies? A-and the t-teacher ??
MOM: I am so sorry, Danny.
ME: MOM! Just tell me! He killed them, didn’t he?!
……… long silence ………
MOM: You got it all wrong Danny, he would never do that… You did.
~
“It’s going to be okay, Danny. I will ALWAYS have your back, I promise.”
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Credits to: darknight_18
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