I never forgot the first time I saw the Devil. Out in the woods with Haley and the rest, watching Marcus Salk change, I was horrified and awestruck, a voice screaming in the back of my head to run away from this terrible thing that should not be.
I had never been a religious man, but I come from a religious family. I remember growing up in church, and I remember a time when the ideas of Hell and the Devil terrified me. Over the years, my spiritual beliefs and fears just sort of faded away. It wasn’t anything sudden or dramatic, but as I had new beliefs and ideas and experiences taking up more and more interior space, they slowly crowded out any otherworldly contemplations. By the time I finished college, I was convinced that all religions were shams, and by the time I decided to find and join a cult for my doctoral thesis, I was proudly confident in my intellectual and moral superiority to the unwashed rubes that fell for the ploys of the cult, the religion, the philosophy that asked you to believe in things you could not see.
When I shook Dr. Salk’s hand, I felt a small flush of unease pass through my body like a brief summer storm. It made me feel uncertain, but I chalked it up to being tired, being nervous about getting closer to the inner workings of this cult, and to getting slightly caught up in the excitement that was radiating from Haley and the others.
I had expected that Salk was going to join us inside and spend awhile spinning me yarns of spiritual awakening and personal growth that were just around the corner if I just joined them. Possibly the sales pitch would include references to community and family or provide examples of how the group helped others in some real and tangible way.
Both are well-worn tropes in cult recruitment. Many cults pad their ranks not just with the truth-seekers and the personally dissatisfied, but with the lonely. The people that have no friends, have alienated their family, and are desperate to find a place where they can belong. And for prospects that consider themselves more shrewd and worldly, the cult talks about how much good they are doing in the world. Picking up litter, reading to the elderly, helping out in a natural disaster, that kind of thing. The actions of a legitimate organization, not a cult.
That may sound silly, but you need to understand that if someone is still listening to a cult’s sales pitch after more than a few minutes, they want to believe. They want to be convinced. It’s just a question of giving them the right thing to hang their hat on, whether it’s a benefit like a new family to be loved and accepted by or a distinction like public service they can use to silence the nagging doubts they have about this strange group they are being drawn into minute by minute.
But that wasn’t what happened with Salk. Instead, we all loaded into a van that I later learned belonged to Haley’s grandparents and went for a drive. Haley was behind the wheel, and Bruce sat up front with her. Salk and I were in the next row of bucket seats back, with Elise and David sitting in the rear.
From the moment Salk had arrived, the entire dynamic of the group had changed. All four of them were like candleflies dancing around his flame, their words and movements all exuding a strange sort of deferential excitement. For Haley and Bruce, this led to them being more direct and assertive—it was clear that they were the leaders in the group. Elise and the already quiet David, on the other hand, faded into the background even further, their eyes locked on Salk with some kind of silent desperation.
For his part, Salk just sat and talked to me as we drove. He clearly knew more than a little about me already, but he made a point of asking me questions about myself, where I was from, what I did for a living. I considered lying, but a part of me sensed it would be a mistake. So I admitted to working on my PhD in Sociology and tried to make sure that all my other answers, while vague, could never be called outright lies either.
While I had talked about myself over the course of the evening playing cards, I had managed to avoid the topic of sociology entirely, and I could see Haley stiffen in her seat when I mentioned it to Salk. The thought occurred to me that I may not be the first skeptic or spectator that had tried to get a peek behind the curtain with these people, and that inevitably led me to picturing what they might do when they found me out. I’m not stupid, and I had known this entire thing was going to be potentially dangerous from the start, but I’ll admit that a nighttime ride out into the middle of nowhere with a group of virtual strangers brought it home.
Still, Salk was affable enough, making the occasional joke and telling me about himself as well. He was an orthopedic surgeon about an hour away. Originally from Kansas, he had moved to the area five years earlier after experiencing what he called “an awakening”. He told me he had been married once, and his wife had been a good person, but he had known she wasn’t ready for how he had changed, and so he had left to find a new life with new friends.
Bruce chuckled and glanced back. “We do what we can.” He seemed to be the most at ease with Salk, but even he was far more guarded and reserved than he had been before the man’s arrival. I knew we had been driving for some time now, and despite planning to pay attention to our route in case I needed to make a break for it, I realized I was totally lost. Looking out the front windshield, the headlights illuminated what had become a dirt road with trees and scrub on both sides. Turning back to Salk, I decided to go ahead and push for some answers.
“So what exactly do you all believe? I know we’re going out here for you to show me something, but can you give me a hint?”
Dr. Salk studied me for a moment, his face unreadable and almost unnaturally blank. Then it lit up with a small smile as he glanced out the window.
“I can do better than that. We’re here.”
Following his gaze, I saw that we were at a small ranch house in the middle of nowhere. No lights were on and there were no signs of cars or people. In fact, I didn’t remember us passing any cars for the last twenty minutes. As though reading my mind, Salk responded.
“The group owns this house and about five hundred acres around it, so it’s a nice place to get away from everything or when we need to do things of a private nature.” He leaned over and patted my arm. “And don’t worry. You’re perfectly safe. I know this all seems very strange, and what you’re about to see will be remarkable and frightening, but just remember, you are safe.”
We piled out of the van, and I remember thinking at the time that Salk’s words and presence weren’t reassuring me. Instead of seeming uncomfortable in the adoration of the others, he seemed to glory in it. Not because of what he said, but the way he said it. All of his jokes and good-natured conversation seemed forced or hollow, and I don’t know that I believed his reassurances that I was safe either. In fact, the only things that seemed truly genuine about him was his arrogance and his conviction that I was about to see something terrifying.
Instead of going into the house, we went around it, walking along a small path lined with rocks and scrub brush to a small clearing around fifty yards away. The center of the clearing had a small patio of paving stones laid out in a large square, a tiki torch jammed into the ground at each corner. I had the thought that it looked like an unfinished Aztec sacrificial altar that had been started with materials from a discount home improvement store.
As David went up and started lighting the torches, I found myself fighting a hysterical laugh that was pushing its way dangerously close to the surface. I knew this was not the time to crack wise. I was looking at the ground, trying to regain my composure, when I saw Haley approaching me. When I looked at her, I felt my heart break a little.
Haley’s face was lit up with a mixture of excitement and joy that made her already beautiful face seem radiant in the dim light of the torches. She believed in this—whatever this was—so much, and I could tell she really wanted me to be a part of it too. And I could also tell she was a good person. My attraction to her had been a reaction to her appearance at first, sure, but having been around her several hours now, I knew there was more to it than that. She was smart, and she had a good sense of humor, and when I thought about betraying her trust, about hurting her and debunking the thing that she believed in more than anything…well, I realized it terrified me more than standing out there in the dark with no idea what was about to happen.
Bruce clapped me on the back as Salk walked toward the paved square. I had the impression he was trying to comport himself with some degree of theatre, but it wasn’t working. It seemed forced, and if I’m being honest, he didn’t cut the most dashing figure to begin with. Still, when he reached the center of the square and turned around, his face sent a chill through me. Flat and expressionless, his eyes were the only thing that seemed to flicker with some kind of dim life. My mind was racing, wondering what the big reveal was going to be. Speaking in tongues? A vision only he could see? A coin trick? I felt another laugh wanting to bubble up, but then Salk was gone. And when I saw the thing that stood in his place, all I could do was scream.
My first thought was, Oh God, it’s a monster! A real monster! I have to…, followed by a frantic jumble of ways I could escape or how I would die. Not able to settle on a response, I stayed rooted to the spot and took in this impossible thing.
Its body was massive, covered in a mixture of grey fur and a black, shiny material that reminded me of an insect, its large torso and monstrous arms supported on relatively smaller legs that reminded me of the legs of a cat or dog. The arms themselves were mismatched and horrific, one ending in a bestial claw while the other looked more like some kind of fleshy dark club covered in protrusions of some kind. But its face was the worst. Partially covered by that same strange black flesh, I could see yellow eyes set into a deep-socketed, long reptilian face. Some distant part of me recognized that I was screaming--had been screaming for several seconds in fact--but I somehow didn’t know how to stop it.
Then I felt something touch my arm. My heart felt like it was going to stop, but I did cease yelling for the moment. I looked over and saw it was Haley. She was smiling at me, her expression sympathetic.
“I know. I reacted pretty much the same way. If I’m honest, I peed myself a little. But you are totally safe. That is still Marcus. You are still here with us, and you are totally safe.”
As though to illustrate the point, the monster stepped forward and reached out its claw hand, patting me on the head gently as a wet sound that might be its version of laughter squelched its way out of its throat. It took all of my willpower to not jerk away or start screaming again, and turning my gaze from it to focus on Haley is what kept me from losing my mind in those next few moments.
Then the creature backed away, returning to the square. The next second, Salk was back in its place, looking like he had never left. He smiled at me, my mind flashing back to the long teeth I had seen lining the mouth of that other face.
“You did really well, Jimmy. I know it’s a lot to get hit with all of a sudden. I know you have questions, tons of them most likely, and they’ll be able to answer them for you. But for now, you need rest. Your mind needs to absorb what you’ve seen before you can really start processing it.”
I nodded numbly, my brain feeling wholly detached from my body now that the immediate threat was no longer visible. I recognized dimly that I was in shock, but that didn’t really matter to me. I just wanted to rest. I just wanted to be safe and sleep.
As the sky began to turn gray with the approaching sunrise, they led me back up the path, and this time we went into the house instead of back to the van. I dimly remember Haley saying she was going to stay there with me for the next few days so I could have some questions answered and start my process of gaining understanding. I wanted to protest, but I was too tired.
I woke over twelve hours later. Haley was sitting up on the bed next to me, a warm smile on her lips.
“Hey there, sleepyhead. How’re you feeling?”
I rubbed my face, my confusion at waking up in a strange place with Haley starting to fade as I remembered the night before. My heart started thudding as I looked around.
“Is it here? Are we alone?”
She shook her head with a laugh. “We’re alone. And Salk, or as we call him when we’re being fancy, the Ascendant, isn’t here. I guess really we should call him an Ascendant, because there are a quite a few of them. But he’s the only one we know personally. He’s the Ascendant we are assigned to help.”
I felt a strange anger flaring up in my chest. “But he’s a monster! I saw him turn into that thing. What is he?”
She patted my leg. “Fair question. But I want to start at the beginning so you have a clear understanding of what he is and what this group actually stands for. So can you bear with me and save your questions for the end?”
I nodded. It didn’t occur to me at the time, but I was no longer worried about getting away or remembering details for my thesis project. What I had experienced the night before had woken something in me. I had seen and sensed something real and true, and now I hungered to know more. I reached out with a shaking hand and gave her own a squeeze, my heart thudding both at the contact and the feeling that I was standing on the precipice of real Truth. “Yes. Please tell me.”
She squeezed back. “Do you know what a Trifecta is?”
I shrugged weakly. “I’ve heard the word before. Isn’t it a betting term?”
She nodded. “Yes, that’s one definition of it, and an apt one. In betting, a trifecta is when you place bets on not only the three winners, but the order in which they will win. Though nearly no one knows the true and older meaning outside of the House of the Claw.” At my confused look, she laughed. “Shit. Yeah, that’s the name of the group, the cult, whatever. I know, again, super-culty and sinister. Just bear with me.”
“During the Middle Ages in Europe, there was plague, wars, mass killings, etc. Look, I’m not a historian, but suffice it to say, a lot of bad shit went down. There was a lot of ignorance, inequality and violence, and for hundreds of years, people lived short, dirty, miserable lives for the most part. But do you know what caused the Dark Ages?”
I frowned. “Um, the fall of the Roman Empire, famine, and lack of good roads?”
She frowned back. “Okay, fancy pants. It was a rhetorical question, and anyway, you’re only partially right.”
“There was a group called the House of the Claw. I don’t know if anyone knows how old it really is, but it was radically different than the way we are today.”
“So the group is literally called the House of the Claw?”
Giving a slight wince, she nodded. “I’ll admit, it’s not the best name. Not my top pick. But they forgot to ask me when they were founding the secret cult hundreds or thousands of years ago. So no more commentary, okay? I’m already nervous trying to make sure I convey this to you in a way that makes sense.”
I sighed, feeling a stab of guilt. “You’re right. I’ll stop with the smartass comments. I want to hear this.”
“Okay, so that version of the House of the Claw had actually been working for some time to undermine civilization. They were of the belief that this life is actually a form of hell, and the sooner everyone was dead, the better off everyone would be in some form of afterlife. And for awhile, things seemed to be going their way. But then a divide starting forming between members because of a man named Alexander Trudeau.”
“Alexander was the first recorded person to become an Ascendant, and while at first his newfound form and abilities were labeled some form of evil magic by many within the House, over time he developed a following. Part of this was for much the same reason Salk revealed himself to you—it’s hard to deny something when you see it with your own eyes, particularly something that real and true. It touches you at…well, this sounds corny, but it kind of touches your soul.”
“The other reason that people started trusting and listening to Trudeau was because he had great insights into the way things truly worked. He was the one who first coined the term ‘Trifecta’. And the original meaning, the true meaning, lies at the core of what the House of the Claw stands for today.”
“The idea of the Trifecta is this. All living things have a soul. But this soul is divided into three parts. The first part, is what we call the terrestrial soul. It is the soul you have anchored to your physical body, whether you are living on Earth or in some distant part of Alpha Centauri. The second part is what we call the night soul. It exists in another place, call it a different dimension if you want, though I’m not sure that’s exactly right. The third part is called the key soul. That is the core of your spirit, and it remains perfect and unchanging in a form of afterlife. Some call it Heaven, though most members feel that term is too loaded at this point. But call it what you will, that third piece is what binds the rest together and will ultimately make you whole.”
“The thing you saw Salk turn into last night? That is his night soul. He and the other Ascendants have managed to call this second part to them, make it a part of who they are. We don’t fully understand how or why it happens, but we do know that being around other Ascendants and following the ways of the House seems to help a great deal.”
“But now maybe you see why Ascendants are so respected. The House believes that all of existence is actually designed to help us become whole. People live full of sadness and yearning because they are missing parts of themselves. Trudeau figured out that by claiming your night soul, you can then ascend to the afterlife and claim your key soul as well. You can become complete and immortal.”
She paused as she wiped away the tears springing up in her eyes. “But the Ascendants, they stay with us. They could move on themselves, but they stay behind to help the rest of us. They sacrifice so much, do terrible things, just to help us all.”
I frowned. “What terrible things? What do they do?”
She nodded with a sigh. “This is always the hardest part, because it goes so against everything we’re taught. People…well, people without their night soul, they are caught in a cycle of reincarnation. This is a good thing, because pain and death are the two things we have found that reliably bring you closer to claiming your night soul. Some people say the night soul is the violent, or even evil, part of ourselves, but I don’t believe that. I think that there’s good and bad in everything. But either way, what we know for sure is that if you kill living things, if you make them suffer, you are bringing them closer to gaining the second portion of their soul. It seems terribly cruel in the moment, but it is actually the greatest kindness we can ever do for each other.” She paused. “Have you decided I’m crazy and this is some weird death cult now?”
I surprised myself by shaking my head. “No….No. I’m still listening. I’m trying to keep an open mind.”
She smiled and went on.
Over the next two weeks, I learned more about the House, the Trifecta, and the dim outlines of something called the Grand Plan. I kept waiting for the moment when I knew this wasn’t for me, where the horror and illogic of some aspect of the House would drive me away from whatever yearning was keeping me not only willing, but eager, to learn more. But it never came.
The beliefs of the House were provocative--of that there was no question. And it wasn’t something that you could tell to just anyone and have them react well. But as the days stretched on, I began to recognize that the shrill, querulous voice in the back of my head wasn’t my sanity or my conscience. It was my enemy. It was some regressive part of my genes, some bestial instinct to stick with the familiar and the known. Or worse yet, it was some evil outside influence trying to keep me and others from the true path to our spiritual fulfillment.
By the end of those two weeks, I had a name for that voice. It was the Devil. And the Devil was a part of me. It had fully come out for the first time on the night Salk revealed himself in all his glory, screeching for me to get away, but it had always been with me. Holding me back, making me doubt myself, making me fear and feel alone.
I remember when I saw the Devil, and I remember when I cast it away from me. I was holding Haley’s hand and taking the Oaths of the Trifecta under the Ascendant’s brilliant, yellow gaze. That is the day I was reborn.
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Credits
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