Memories came flowing back into him as he lay back against the couch, his eyes fixated on the violin. He used to be the apple of his parents’ eyes, even more so with his musical talent. He wasn’t the most handsome guy amongst his peers, but he fared well with his share of admirers. He represented his school on plenty of musical tourneys, and would want nothing more than to impress his family and friends with his violin during family gatherings, more so at charity events. He was magic behind the violin and life was peaceful but fulfilling.
Until he met Illumai.
Illumai was everything he wasn’t: crass, vulgar, violent, direct, straight to the point without beating about the bush, honest and raw. He spoke his mind, gave no fucks and did anything he liked without really caring about the consequences until someone actually points it out blatantly to him. He was the son of the dean of the college they both went to, but he was not the kind that would use his status to commit crimes and/or offences. He was above bullying and would beat the pulp out of anyone who were. Do whatever you like, as long as it doesn’t get anyone killed, that was his motto. And despite himself, Luka was drawn to the powerful charisma of Illumai and was heads over heels for him.
It started off mildly at first, since Luka knew Illumai liked his freedom and had a sort of groupie behind his wake. Then it was a sort of love-hate, cat-and-mouse game of love between them two that soon evolved into a passion so strong, even Venus would blush at it. Luka was absolutely swept away by Illumai’s originality, and that was before they even started having sex. Illumai’s prowess and libido was not to be trifled with and Luka’s mind never ceased to get blown away every time they gave in to their carnal urges.
Illumai was not big on condoms and Luka didn’t believe in birth control pills, so it was a no-brainer that Luka was knocked up rather quickly into the relationship. He came clean with Illumai first, but the latter, being the free spirit, was not about to be bogged down by parental responsibilities and basically told him that he was on his own. He agreed to give monetary support but he made it clear that he did not want to have anything to do with him or the baby.
Luka’s life soon turned upside-down when he final saw who everyone really was when he let the cat out of the bag. Friends tried to put up a front and gave their so-called support, but were criticizing him and threw insults at him behind his back. Family called him an outright whore and blamed him for shattering their perfect image of him. His parents were upset and embarrassed that they no longer have their talented golden child they could parade around like they used to. It got so bad that they wanted Luka to abort the child, but Luka was above killing children, so it led to his parents disowning him and kicked him out of the house, the violin being the only thing he was allowed to bring along besides his clothes.
Being cut off by his family, he had no choice but to quit college and enter the workforce despite his pregnant state. His home was now a dingy rent-controlled apartment and he waited tables during the day and played violin in coffee pubs during the night until he started showing, then moved on to work as a shop assistant in a record store. He hadn’t been playing the violin since then, and had more or less forgotten about it as his due date was drawing near, and while Illumai was good to his word and provided the monthly funds through mail, Luka never saw him again. Not even a single hair of him was present.
Picking up the violin and bow and settling into a playing position, he took a deep breath and started playing his trademark solo he always played during recitals and family gatherings, and it took him back to the times when his life was a lot less fucked up than this; when his parents loved him, his friends admired him, his family adored him, and Illumai loved him…
Luka started when he thought about Illumai. Loved him? How could he have loved him when he left him there to fend for himself and his unborn child? How could he have loved him if he broke every single promise he made to him, well, except the monetary support part. Sure, the sex was incredible and the moments together on and off the bed was sweet, but that was it. He was not there when he broke the news to him. He was not there when all his friends abandoned him. He was not there when his family left him for dead. He didn’t love him. He didn’t…
“Umm…Luka…?”
Luka looked up to hear Illumai’s voice outside his apartment door. A gentle rap later and another holler and Luka was finally convinced that he wasn’t dreaming.
“I…Illumai…?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” Illumai’s voice sounded awkward at best.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Luka came to the door, but didn’t open it.
“I…uh…I’m bringing this month’s fund, and, uh…I heard you playing the violin and…I couldn’t resist…”
“Couldn’t resist on what? Coming in and rubbing it in and tell me what a sorry piece of shit I am?”
“Hey, let’s not go there, alright? Just…Just lemme in and…well, let’s talk and catch up.”
“Fuck you. Fuck you and your catching up,” Luka growled as he slammed his fist against the door in an attempt to intimidate him into leaving his property—whatever little there may be. “Just leave the money and go—Nngh…!!”
Luka doubled over as he clutched his belly. He had been feeling a little uncomfortable since this morning—hence asking for a day leave and spring cleaning to keep himself busy—but it was getting a little too much to handle even after he played the violin to keep his mind off things. The sight of a huge puddle below his feet met his eyes as he opened them and the realization dawned to him that he was in labour.
“Oh my frickin’ god, what’s with the water?!” Illumai was still outside, evidently shocked by the amniotic fluid that seeped through the gap of the front door. “Are you OK? Did you pee yourself?”
“Get out! Get outta here! It’s none of your busi—Aah…!!”
“Alright, that’s it! You don’t sound too good. I’m coming in! Heads up now!”
“N…No! G-Go away…!!”
Too late for that, as Illumai’s foot soon got in contact with the door with a roundhouse kick and it was soon open without much effort. Thankfully Luka was out of the way when the door surrendered to Illumai’s might. He was by Luka’s side in a flash, but Luka wasn’t having him.
“No! Get the fuck away! Leave me alone! You’re good at that!” Luka screamed that last phrase as another contraction wracked through him.
“No, Luka. You need me, I can tell from your tone,” Illumai said as he helped him on his feet. “So old-school birth or water birth?”
“None of your fucking business! I hate you!! Get the fuck outta here!!”
“Water birth it is,” Illumai ignored Luka’s outburst and half-dragged him towards the bathroom. Luka groaned; impulsive and self-centered as usual, but right now he was too much in pain to care.
Once they were in the bathroom, Illumai helped Luka take off his pants and filled the tub with lukewarm water before helping him into the water. The warmth and buoyancy of the water eased the pain a little, but the pressure was still a little unbearable for the older boy.
“Easy, Luka. Breathe in and out,” Illumai coached and earned a venomous glare from Luka.
“Shut the fuck up! What do you know about labour?!”
“I may be younger than you, but that doesn’t mean I’m less educated than you,” Illumai said as he prepared the towels and disinfected the scissors with the alcohol from the med kit. “I do read up on this stuff, you know.”
“Oh, that makes me feel so much better,” Luka rolled his eyes, then cringed again as the next contraction hit. “Oh fuck…Fuck…It burns…!! It burns…!!”
“Sounds like the baby’s crowning,” Illumai said as he settled the things down. “Shouldn’t you be pushing right now…”
“Get out! Get the fuck out!” Luka shouted as he pushed Illumai away, making him fall on his ass.
“Come on, don’t be that way, lemme help.”
“No! You did this to me, but you never cared about me!! You fucked me, but you never gave a fuck about me! I hate you!!”
“Alright, alright, I’m sorry, I really am! But now is not the time, we need to…”
“No! You need to get the fuck out!! I can do this on my own!!”
“Luka…”
“Get out!! GET OUT!!!”
Illumai bit his lip, wanting to argue, but seeing that Luka was already starting to push on his own, he slowly got up and walked off quietly, shutting the door behind him. Luka was all on his own in the bathroom now, half-naked from the waist down and trying to push out a watermelon through his vagina.
Following his instinct, he pulled his legs up as close to himself as possible, spreading them as much as the tub space allowed and pushed down hard at a contraction. A few times he could feel the head coming down and out, but it seemed to keep shrinking back inside him. Half an hour later, he was getting frustrated and tired because he was making very little progress, and the head was nowhere near coming out as much as he would’ve want it.
The gravity of the situation soon crashed down on him and drove him to tears. Burying his face in his hands, he sobbed in agony. He couldn’t do this alone. He needed help. And he had just chased that help away.
“Illumai…Illumai, don’t go…Please…Please come back…”
A hand rested on his sweaty brow to wipe them away. Luka looked up with his red, sodden eyes to see Illumai smiling gently down at him.
“Do you think I would actually leave? You know me better than that.”
“I’m sorry…I’m really sorry I yelled at you…Please…Please don’t leave me…” Luka whined and sobbed in pain as he reached up to hug Illumai, desperate for him to stay and not wanting to let him go.
“No, no, I’m the one who should be sorry,” Illumai said as he kissed Luka’s cheek over and over again, trying to chase those tears away. “I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry for not supporting you. I know money was not enough to cover it, but I’m here now. I’ll never leave you. Please believe me.”
Luka whimpered and nodded, then groaned as another contraction hit. He tried to push along with it, but as Illumai could see, he wasn’t going anywhere.
“Come on, babe,” Illumai said as he helped Luka to go on his knees. “Maybe if you give birth on your knees, and with gravity’s help, we might get this little bugger out, eh?”
“D…Don’t call it a ‘bugger’, it’s your baby too…!” Luka groaned as he was moved, and once he was on his knees and he put his hands to support himself on the side of the tub, he could start feeling the baby’s head really descending. “Oh, yes, yes, it’s coming…Oh fucking god, it’s coming…!!”
“There ya go. Come on, push whenever you feel it! I got your back!”
With Illumai’s encouragement and his hands alternating between massaging Luka’s back and round belly, Luka pushed with the contractions and could feel himself stretch to its widest as the size of the head literally abused his vagina folds, and he could’ve sworn he felt a sharp pain between his legs, like he might’ve tore down there.
“Oh shit…Oh shit…!! It’s…It’s huge…!! It’s huge!! It’s tearing me apart~!!” Luka could barely contain his scream as he gave in to another push, making the burning feeling worse.
“Just pant through the next contraction, babe,” Illumai coached as he entered the tub, taking off his own pants—revealing his red with black hearts boxers—before he did. He maneuvered Luka gently until he was facing the foot of the tub and had his hands on the baby’s head. “I read that you need to pant through the process when the head is halfway out, or else you will tear.”
“Well, too late for that, I…Unngghh…!!” Luka felt the next contraction coming and gripped hard on the foot of the tub, panting to the point of almost hyperventilating as he tried to resist the urge to push. He did that for the next few contraction—sneaking in a tiny push or so when he couldn’t hold back—until the head finally made its exist out of his womb.
“Holy frag, it’s huge!” Illumai exclaimed as he cradled the baby’s head in his hands. “We got a really huge baby here. It might be more than 9 pounds in there, judging by the head!”
“Ooh fuck, of all things, it had to inherit your size…!! Aagghh~!! I want to…I need to push~!!”
“The head’s fully out now, babe. You can push as much as you can.”
Relieved that he was given permission to do what his body nature dictated it, he gave in to the pushing almost as soon as the contractions came in. Again, there were quite a bit of resistance, but with Illumai’s one hand still holding the baby’s head and the other hand massaging Luka’s back, the baby was slowly but surely making progress.
“You’re doing really good, babe,” Illumai said in an encouraging tone. “One of the shoulders is coming out. Keep it coming.”
“Shit, shit, shit~!!” Luka cried both in pain and frustration. “I can feel it, I can feel it~! It’s huge~! Aagh~!! Get it out, get it the fuck out~!!”
“Take it easy, babe. Take it easy. Just push slowly. Don’t force it. We don’t want you to push too much blood than you should.”
“Easy for you to say…nnghh…You’re not the one pushing a fucking boulder out of your pussy~!”
“I know, I know it hurts, but you’re stronger than that, aye, babe?” Illumai chuckled quietly, knowing that it’s just the pain talking.
“I can’t do it…I can’t do it anymore…”
“I know you can do it. You’re almost there. Just push the other shoulder out and everything will just pop out smoothly.”
Taking a few deep breaths, Luka continued to push at each contraction, whimpering occasionally as he could feel the baby descending more, the shoulder shifting out of him and the other one just slowly sliding out. He gasped as the baby stretched him to an impossible limit with that freed shoulder and he choked in his own screams at that pain, as if the sounds were stuck in his throat, unable to come out.
“The shoulders are out, babe. Just give it one more push! Come on!”
Luka tried, but wasn’t hard enough to free the baby.
“Come on, just that one more push! You need to go harder!”
“I’m…trying…!! Nnnngrrrrhhhh~!!!”
“Harder, babe, harder!”
“It’s stuck! I can’t get it out!!”
“Yes, you can! Just do it harder!”
“FUCK YOU! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! YOU’RE NOT HELPING!!!”
“Harder! Do it!”
Luka screamed out when, out of the blue, Illumai reached his hand over to suddenly tweak his clit, which was somehow a rock hard nub despite the pain of pushing. Without warning, that unexpected stimulation caused him to orgasm violently, and with that, the baby slid out almost immediately and fell into Illumai’s waiting arms.
“Holy frag! It’s huge! It’s an Earth boy!”
Luka’s head was spinning as he collapsed into the tub, twitching and jerking as his body tried to ride out the orgasm. He wasn’t sure if he had already been feeling that sort of impending climax throughout the birth, but once it was released, it gave him a huge sense of relief and pleasure he had never felt before. It made him almost wish that giving birth wasn’t so bad after all, but only almost.
“Is…Is he OK…? Nothing wrong with him…?”
“All ten fingers and ten toes accounted for, babe,” Illumai said as he cleaned their son up with fresh warm water from the sink that he plugged and filled up. “And he is abso-fucking-lutely huge. I think he’s about at least 11 pounds.”
“You…owe me big time for putting me through this…” Luka pouted as he winced a little, his body made him push out the afterbirth.
“Of course,” Illumai replied with a determined smile as he wrapped their son in the towels he prepared and handed him to Luka, draining the tube while slowly washing off all the caked blood-stained water off the older man and helping him to the bedroom. “I’m here now. And I swear to God, I will not leave you ever again.”
“Don’t swear to God,” Luka sighed tiredly as he cooed at their newborn son. “Swear to me and our little boy.”
“I swear, on you, myself and our son’s life.”
“What shall we name him?”
“I dunno, really,” Illumai admitted sheepishly. “You were the one doing most of the work. It’s only fair that you name him.”
Luka thought for a while before replying, “Renai. It’s Japanese for passion. He was created from our moments of passion. I think he should be named that.”
“Renai,” Illumai nodded at how the name rolled off the tongue pretty well. “Great name. Hey there, Renai. Daddy’s here, and Daddy promise Mommy that I will make it up to both of you for the rest of my life.”
“Why don’t you get started by calling a doctor or a midwife?” Luka chuckled as he unbuttoned the jammies the younger man helped put on for him to give Renai his first meal.
“Of course. Anything else?”
“Make an honest man out of me and ask me to be your wife.”
Illumai could only laugh good-naturedly as he nodded in agreement.
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