Skip to main content

A Promise to My Kid


 

My daughter was 4 when she got sick, and doctors first used the word "Cancer". 

She was 5 when her hair fell out and stayed out and doctors used the word "inoperable". 

She was one month shy of her 6th birthday when she coughed up blood, and doctors used the words "palliative care". 

It was only three days after that my Megan died. 

Her mother left me two months after Megan's death. Losing Megan was like living in a waking nightmare, day in, day out. I'm sure I didn't make it any easier. I drank a lot. I just wanted to sleep. In my dreams Megan was alive. She could play, dance, and had hair. She never heard of Cancer, and never slept in a hospital. 

I spent my days watching old videos. It was during one of those moments alone with my memories that I first thought of it. An old memory of Megan and I. It was a few months after we found out she had Cancer. She was scared, and so I lay beside her and told her stories to ease her fears. She asked, "Am I gonna die?" 

I had never let that thought enter my mind until she said the words. I fought back tears, and told her no. 

"What if I do?" She asked. 

"Then I'll go to Heaven and have a talk with God." I told her. 

"No, daddy. God doesn't let us die." She said matter of factly. 

"Oh yea? Who does?" I asked. 

"The devil." She said, whispering the word. 

"Well," I said, "then I'll go to hell and storm the gates. I'll have a word with that devil and make him regret it!"

I had only been trying to make her laugh at the time, she was so sick, and didn't need to be thinking about death. 

So that was it. A promise to my kid, made just to make her smile, with no real thought behind it. But Megan believed it. 

I promised my kid I'd storm the gates of hell and fight the devil himself, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. 

It was two weeks ago since I started. Up until then, I hadn't so much as stolen a piece of gum. 

But now I'm ready. Ready to keep my promise to my kid. This razor in my hand should take me out, and if those bodies I stacked in the corner of my room doesn't get me there then I'm sure what I did to old Mrs Norris sure will. 

I'd say I'm sorry for what I've done, but I won't risk losing my place in hell. I've worked too hard to guarantee my admission. 

I've got to have a word with the devil and I don't plan to say all that much. 

If I make it out afterwards, I'll storm the gates of heaven and see my Megan. 

I smile as I bring the razor to my wrist. It doesn't even hurt.  

----
 
Credits

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Wish Come True (A Short Story)

I woke up with a start when I found myself in a very unfamiliar place. The bed I was lying on was grand—an English-quilting blanket and 2 soft pillows with flowery laces. The whole place was fit for a king! Suddenly the door opened and there stood my dream prince: Katsuya Kimura! I gasped in astonishment for he was actually a cartoon character. I did not know that he really exist. “Wake up, dear,” he said and pulled off the blanket and handed it to a woman who looked like the maid. “You will be late for work.” “Work?” I asked. “Yes! Work! Have you forgotten your own comic workhouse, baby dear?” Comic workhouse?! I…I have became a cartoonist? That was my wildest dreams! Being a cartoonist! I undressed and changed into my beige T-shirt and black trousers at once and hurriedly finished my breakfast. Katsuya drove me to the workhouse. My, my, was it big! I’ve never seen a bigger place than this! Katsuya kissed me and said, “See you at four, OK, baby?” I blushed scarlet. I always wan
Post a Comment
Read more

Hans and Hilda

Once upon a time there was an old miller who had two children who were twins. The boy-twin was named Hans, and he was very greedy. The girl-twin was named Hilda, and she was very lazy. Hans and Hilda had no mother, because she died whilst giving birth to their third sibling, named Engel, who had been sent away to live wtih the gypsies. Hans and Hilda were never allowed out of the mill, even when the miller went away to the market. One day, Hans was especially greedy and Hilda was especially lazy, and the old miller wept with anger as he locked them in the cellar, to teach them to be good. "Let us try to escape and live with the gypsies," said Hans, and Hilda agreed. While they were looking for a way out, a Big Brown Rat came out from behind the log pile. "I will help you escape and show you the way to the gypsies' campl," said the Big Brown Rat, "if you bring me all your father's grain." So Hans and Hilda waited until their father let them out,
2 comments
Read more

I've Learned...

Written by Andy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so much with so few words. Rooney used to be on 60 Minutes TV show. I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows. I've learned .... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day. I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child. I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in any other way. I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand. I'
Post a Comment
Read more