I'm a pretty brave guy, I think. I'm fine with heights, bugs, gore, scary movies, all of those things. I'm also a fairly big guy. I stand at 6'5 and I spend a lot of time in the gym, so you can understand why it takes a lot to scare me.
That must be why my friends find my fear of the ocean so amusing. I honestly can't stand it. But, I think that's completely reasonable. I mean, there are so many things in the ocean out to get you. Even thinking about deep water, I get a sense of dread.
But, it's summer. Everyone is at the beach, my friends included. Last week they told me that all of them were going to the beach on the weekend, and I had to come.
"You know how I feel about it."
"Can't you swim?"
"Sure I can. In a pool. I'm telling you, any sane person shouldn't wanna swim in the ocean."
"Get over yourself, Ted. You're a twenty-five year-old man."
Not one to be emasculated so easily, I decided I'd tough it out, helped by the Tracey's suggestion that if I wanted I could just mope in the sand and get myself a tan.
So, Saturday morning, we went to the nearest beach. I spent the first five minutes lying down on the sand with Tracey, Caroline and Ruth but, it was scorching, so I gave in and walked towards the water, much to Evan, Tyson and Hank's delight.
They were up to their waists in water, half-attempting to drown each other and laughing all the while. I was only up to my knees, but once they begin to goad me, I took a step forward and immediately felt a prickling sensation on my leg.
Evan moved towards me, probably planning on dragging me deeper, but I yelled at him to keep his distance.
"This weird looking jellyfish just stung me."
"Oh, I see it." He responded.
The bell, or hood, which is to say, the "head" of the jellyfish, was transparent, and it looked like there was this pink, wrinkly mass inside, with a ton of tentacles dangling from it. Several of them touching my leg. Safe to say, I hopped back onto the sand pretty quickly.
Tracey was apologizing profusely for pressuring me into swimming, which I just laughed at.
"That's a nasty looking sting you've got there, Ted." Evan interjected.
He was right. A solid part of my leg surrounding the sting had gone extremely pale.
"Ya want me to pee on it?" Tyson joked, now having walked over.
"I'll pass. I'm not getting back in the water though."
"Okay, Ted. I'm not gonna argue with ya."
We stayed there for about two more hours, by which point I had actually fallen asleep. I was woken up by Evan and the girls standing over me looking concerned, with the distant sound Tyson laughing maniacally, probably holding Hank underwater.
"What's wrong?" I muttered, sitting up.
"You're white as a ghost." Caroline pointed out.
"Bit odd, in this heat." Ruth agreed.
They were right. I told them I'd head home, to which they insisted that I visit a doctor. As I drove home though, I figured that the pink ones aren't meant to be dangerous. Besides, I was half asleep already. I got home and fell asleep as soon as I touched the bed.
When I woke up, it was dark, and I had the intense need for water. I was still extremely tired, though, so I half-crawled to my fridge and downed more than five bottles of water, right there and then. I felt a bit better then, so I stood up, and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
I was much skinnier, and hairless, but that wasn't very important. My skin was clear. Fully transparent. My body didn't look right, either. Instead of blood, or muscle, I just saw my skeleton, my nervous system and my organs floating around in an elastic, jelly-like substance.
Understandably, I passed out. When I awoke the sun was setting. I stumbled over to a mirror. I was hoping to find out that it was some strange nightmare. Instead, things had gotten worse.
My organs, which I could unfortunately see clearly, were smaller and withered. My bones also looked to be in the process of dissolving.
I passed out again, however, when I awoke this morning, it had been nearly a week since I had been stung. This time though, I was comparatively full of energy. I walked over to a mirror once again.
I looked like a humanoid mass of jelly. The only things inside of me were my brain and my eyes, now surrounded by a jellyfish hood, and my nervous system, in the final process of arranging itself into tentacles. Worse than that though, I had the irresistible urge to return to the ocean.
I managed to drive myself to the beach and found myself looking at around a dozen other people in the same state as I'm in. It makes sense. The beach was crowded when I visited last.
As I watch everyone walk in, as soon as they set foot in the water, they collapse forwards, dissolving, leaving only the head and tentacles.
It's kind of an effort to type, with jelly fingers and all, but also resisting the urge to just enter the sea. That's when my eyeballs are gonna disappear and I'll just be left as a jellyfish.
There are only two things I hope for now.
One, that I'm not conscious as a jellyfish.
Two, that the beach isn't crowded this weekend.
I'm not confident in either.
So, my advice? Stay away from the beach this summer...
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