"It's not the cheating that bothers me, Jim," said my wife, Anne. "It's the lying. I just want you to be honest with me. All the time, even when it hurts. Can you do that?"
"Yes," I said. "I promise."
But I was lying.
And then she died. And in the year since then, I didn't sleep with a single woman. Ironic, right? Also, after that year, I became sure that Anne was visiting me. I felt her presence. I smelt her perfume - so strongly it's like it was sprayed directly at my face.
***
My birthday was coming up, and Lucy, our seven-year-old, was making me a special present. It was top secret, apparently. Every day after school, she locked herself in her room and worked on it until dinner time. I had absolutely no idea what she was doing in there. Occasionally, I heard her talking faintly through the door. But mostly it was dead quiet.
However, she was extremely serious about keeping it a secret. She reminded me daily not to 'look.' I told her I wouldn't. "Do you promise?" she would ask intensely, then she'd stare at me with her sharp green eyes. Her mother's eyes.
"Yes," I would say. "I promise."
But after two weeks, I felt I had to step in. Something just wasn't right anymore. So when she was at school, I searched every inch of her room for her project, but I found absolutely nothing. It was so strange, but I decided to just monitor the situation.
Finally it was my birthday, and I have to admit, my curiosity was piqued. After breakfast, she made me sit on her bed with my eyes closed. Then I heard her knock three times on something, pause, then open it. It sounded like her closet. She repeated this over and over, but also seemed to grow more and more frustrated. I had no idea what the hell she was doing, but she refused to let me open my eyes.
Eventually, she threw herself onto the bed. The closet door was open.
"It's not working!" she cried. Then she looked up at me accusatorially. "You must have looked! Did you look?"
I felt guilty. "No," I told her, "I never looked."
"Do you promise?"
"...Yes."
Eventually, she told me the truth.
"I've been trying to bring Mummy back from the dead."
Cold chills entered me. "What? What do you mean?"
"Elinor told me to."
I gaped at her. Elinor was my wife's middle name. "Who's Elinor?"
She pointed at her laptop. My stomach dropped. I reminded her about not talking to strangers online. She tried to show me the chats, but they were gone. We tried to find 'Elinor,' but she had vanished too.
After that day, the visits from my wife stopped. As time passed, I couldn't help but wonder - crazy as it might sound - what would have happened if I had kept my promise?
What would have happened if I hadn't 'looked?'
---
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