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Pasta Player: Dead Space


So, this all started on November 25, 2011. I was at Game Stop browsing their selection of used games. I didn't have much money, and wanted to spend it on Sonic Generations. But when I got there, they were sold out completely. I decided to take a look at Xbox games quickly before leaving. While searching, I came across a strange game case. It was Dead Space, but the case looked off. "Off" as in, it looked like it's coloring was done by a four year old. Since I really enjoyed the second game, I decided what the hell.
When I got home I instantly put the disc in my Xbox. The startup screen was totally normal, creepy noises, etc.

I selected new game. The first cut seen was of you in this ship. you listen to the message from Nicole, then Kendra says stuff, shit happens. It looked like dead space. When i finally got in the ship, I figured that the infestation hasn't happened yet. Because when we crashed, there where people. Normal people everywhere they asked use if we were alright after the crash (the ship crashes into the ship). We said we were OK, then they told us that the ship was horrendously fucked up. YES, finally some zombie action I thought. Then they took us through the ship (called the Ishimura) until we got to the antenna thingy. Once again, people. By now I'm like: WTF, wheres all the zombies, and blood, and stuff? I went and repaired the antenna. Then they said some stuff about the marker. I was like FINALLY! Then they took us to the cargo bay. On the way we passed all kinds of things. We passed a nursery, a hospital, and a pet store. There were even kittens in the glass things to show off the animals. When we got there I almost couldn't take it. The cargo bay WASN'T filled with blood or bodies. Everything looked like it probably should have. I was like WTF, WHERES MY FUCKING ZOMBIES?!?!?!

They showed us the marker, and we returned to our ship. Then the credits rolled. I finished the game with a total time of forty five minutes. My jaw dropped. WTF was that, that can't be the real game! I tried again. This time, when I started, I Immediately spawned in front of the pet store. The kittens and now puppies where all giving me adorable looks. I couldn't take it. I ripped my Xbox out of the wall, and jumped out the window to my death. And I'm gay as fuck because there are no zombies in Dead Space, they're Necromorphs utter fucking retard.
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