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Pasta Player: Condemned 3


A couple days ago, I went to a game shop in Cincinnati which I know sells a lot of pirated movies, games and music. For a fee of about five bucks, you could ask the owner if he could get you a movie, game or CD if they did not have it at the store, and he would go home and download whatever you wanted on a CD and give it to you. Sometimes he would even download game emulators with a game pack for that system which had about 100 to 500 games on it. Anyway, I looked around the large shop for PC games and I happened to stumble upon a shelf with a cardboard sign on it that said "New Releases!" written in black sharpie marker, so I took a look.

I saw some games on the shelf that I have never heard of, as well as some that looked made up, like "Grand Theft Auto 5: Angel Grove: and "Dead Rising: The Lost Files". I kept looking around until something caught my eye; it was Condemned 3: Rise Of The Oro. I looked at the price, and it was 100 freaking dollars! I tried to confront the owner and tell him that the games in the new releases were nothing more than scams, we argued for a little while until he told me that he would let me try out the game for one day for free, and if it was a real game, then I had to buy it. I agreed to the deal and left the store before driving off with the game. I took a closer look at the box art: all it showed was a man running in the distance, probably the main character Ethan Thomas, in a corn field by a farm from the Oro, the main source of the enemies in the games Condemned 1 and 2 (I happen to own both for Xbox 360).

I got back to my house and booted up my PC with Windows 7 and a great graphics and sound card. I opened up the box to take out the disc and noticed that the disc was a blank disk with the words "Condemned 3 Rise Of The Oro" poorly written on the front with red sharpie marker. I chuckled to myself thinking that this had to have been some dumb, pointless joke. So I put the CD in and clicked run, but nothing happened. After clicking run for about 6 times I finally gave up until the game surprisingly started up. All the pop-up box on my PC said was Condemned 3, Play, Load and Options, so I clicked options and the game crashed. The game booted up again and I then found out that even the load button doesn't work, so I could not load if I saved, which I thought was bullcrap. I clicked "Play" and a loading screen came up.

While the game was loading, I picked up the game box and looked on the back, all it said was "You are Ethan Thomas, the Oro has taken over you and your only choice is to kill or be killed, use many different weapons, such as wrench, stick, kitchen knife, shovel, etc. to conquer the Oro in 12 different levels and figure out different crimes leading up to the final conclusion for Ethan." The levels were (In Order), 1. The Woodlands 2. Ghost Town 3. The Church 4. Amusement Park 5. Abandoned Mall 6. Canyon 7. Town Cemetery 8. Office 9. Disease And Virus Research Facility 10. The Casino 11. Abandoned Prison and 12. The Oro's Lair.

After about 3 minutes, the game finally loaded up. It showed the usually FPS view of Ethan Thomas, but with the same hand wrapping as in Condemned 2, so I thought that this game was just a hacked and modded version of Condemned 2: Bloodshot. Anyway, The game began as it is supposed to, in the woodlands. I looked around for a weapon and found a weapon called "Hatchet". It had great attack and could be used a lot without breaking, but could not reach well and took some time to swing. I looked at the supplies that are used for finding evidence and saw a police ultra violet scanner, like in the first two games, an S.C.U cell phone and a camera. I turned on my flashlight and started walking around, then things started to get weird, not like "in the game" weird, but "not right" weird.

I came upon a mother dog lying down and it appeared she was giving birth to a pup. A voice then came up saying in a distorted, staticy voice "KILL!". All of the sudden, a video box popped up showing a real life FPS view of a dog giving birth, then a hand with a hatchet in it swung down decapitating the mother dog. I felt sick to my stomach, then the hands picked up the bloodied puppy and slammed it onto a tree, most likely killing it. I felt extremely uneasy and sick, but I noticed something about the hands in the video; they had the same watch on the same hand as the game shop keeper that I got this game from. I thought to myself, "What kind of sick man would do this?", then the video stopped and it showed the dead animals lying on the ground, bloodied and lifeless. I then continued to walk on, even though I knew I shouldn't, and I came upon an enemy, so I started swinging the axe and another video box popped up. It was a homeless man, frightened about something. The same hands that killed the dog came up with the bloody hatchet and swung, striking the homeless mans head. Blood and gore came out as the poor man fell to the ground, you could hear laughter in the background coming from the man holding the camera.

I then could not take the videos anymore. I puked all over the ground and felt tears coming from my eyes because of the sorrow I felt for the homeless man. I then immediately took the game out of my computer and looked at the clock. It was 9:07 p.m., and I knew that the game shop closes at 11:30 on every night (except Sunday, when it closes at 9:15). I packed up my 9mm pistol in case the man tried to kill me after I confront him about the game. I got in my car and headed off to the store.

When I arrived, I saw three police cars and an ambulance. Apparently, the game shop owner downloaded a song for a gang member and it gave the gang members computer a virus, so the gang member shot the store owner. The police asked me why I was there and I told them about me returning a game. I saw the game store owner on a stretcher, somewhat alive, so I ran over to him and he told me, "Have a nice day." in a creepy, eerie way and started maniacally laughing for a few seconds until he died, so I literally just dropped the game by the store, got in my car and left.

A few days later I was watching the news and I saw that a teen had found a game by a gamestore called "Condemned 3" and had committed suicide right after he posted the game all over different video game ROM sites. Thankfully, the game was then removed. However, some say that it is extremely tough, but you could still find a copy over the web and download it. If you do download the game, then may god have mercy on your soul.

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