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Three Suicide Notes


To those who are reading this,

If you are reading this, you will know by now that I am no longer living. I have decided to leave everything behind and rid myself of my incompetence.

I know what I am doing is stupid, but there is nothing more I can do. I have tried to prove my innocence, tried to prove that I did not steal the PTA funds and that the money that I found in my locker was just a coincidence, that someone was trying to set me up, but no one will believe me.

I have been forced to resign myself from school rather than being black-listed as an expelled student, but still no one would forgive me or believe me. No other school will accept me because of all the rumours spreading around and my parents’ business is failing because no one would come to their shop to purchase from them due to my so-called ‘crime’.

I am tired of trying to defend myself for something I didn’t do. I know my parents do not blame me for everything that had happened, but I know deep down inside, they think I am a burden to them, and a shame to the family…and I know that “he” thinks so too.

My death may not be enough to prove my innocence, but at least it’ll give it some closure.

Goodbye.

Kiwi

--:--

To you heartless bastards,

I am sick and tired of all you hypocrites. I am going to leave this cruel world and never come back.

I know what I did to Kiwi was wrong. I know I shouldn’t have taken the PTA funds and stuff it in her locker just to frame her, but have you ever been in love? Have you ever loved someone so much that you sometimes do something stupid?

Kiwi was my best friend, but even best friends can’t share everything, and she definitely cannot share Mr. Orange with me. Everyone loved her, men and women alike, and she could have any man she want. Why can’t she choose someone like Mango, or Apple, or Melon even? Why must she choose Mr. Orange? Why must she choose the person that I love?

Everyone now hates me for what I’ve done. Mr. Orange left me, my friends ignored me, and even my own grandfather expelled me from school and disowned me from the family. I am the only family he has and he kicked me out of the house like I was nothing!

You have no right to judge me! You have never been so much in love as I did! You don’t understand what it feels like to be willing to do anything for the person you love! All you care about was that I killed Kiwi, when she was the one who killed herself!

I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re all happy!!!

Lemon

--:--

To all the ones I love,

Before I leave this world, I think I probably should leave a few parting words.

I know these months have been hard for everyone. And I only have myself to blame. I was never good with spoken words, and I never was good at saying what is on my mind, and it is my weakness that had caused so much tragedy.

I admit that I have always been in love with Kiwi, but the teacher-student conduct forbids us to be together. And I have some inkling in knowing Lemon has a crush on me, but it was Kiwi that I loved, not Lemon, yet to say no to her was a threat to my career, so I subtly allowed Lemon’s advances without ever having the chance to reject her, while continuing my secret affair with Kiwi.

Kiwi understood my plight and was willing to wait until she graduate, but I had not expected Lemon to use her power as the Principal’s granddaughter to pull such strings in framing her. I should’ve seen that coming. I should’ve stood up for her, bringing our relationship public, but my cowardice held my tongue.

I have no reason to live now. My beloved Kiwi is gone, and I had caused Lemon to be in such pain of prosecution by everyone and to throw her future away. They were right to blame me for their deaths, even though they did not say it in front of my face. I bear no malice towards the Principal for firing me. I only wish I could turn back time to set things right again, but that is just wishful thinking.

Kiwi, my beloved, I am coming for you now

Orange

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