After the divorce, life was more or less alright for me. I went to school. I made friends. I had crushes. I had my ups and downs in class. I go to tuition every day. I make more friends there. I learn new languages and dialects (well, mainly Hakka and Cantonese Chinese). It's all good.
Except the fact that I was living with my mom the demon and the weekend visits.
I both look forward and dread the thought of visiting my dad because every Friday, my mom would ask me if I want to go see my dad. It's a lose-lose situation. If I said no, I won't get to see him and I'll have to suffer being with my mom and her insufferable temper. But if I said yes, she'd throw a fit, demanding me to tell her the reason why I should go visit “that man” and beat me black and blue before releasing me to my dad. If I don't give her a good reason, black and blue ensued. If I give her an honest reason she will freak out and retaliate and black and blue ensued as well (like the last time I told her that I want to go because I needed freedom and she started flaring out, demanding “Are you saying I don't give you enough freedom?! When have I ever confined you?!” etc, etc…).
Despite the fact that she had attained forced custody over me, she was also not exactly the best mom in the world. Sure, she fed me, dressed me, schooled me, paid the bills and such, but at the price of enduring her ever-lasting mood swings and tantrums that could rival a 4-year-old on steroids. She demanded attention, full-hearted loyalty (not a daughter's love, mind you, a daughter's LOYALTY) and seem to have made it her mission to make me hate my dad, telling me what an asshole my dad is and that if I don't shape up, I'll be just like him. I pretend to go with her flow for the sake of my life, but I know that she knows deep down inside I could never be swayed, making her even more insecure of my loyalty and bully me more into submission.
I remember before I officially stayed put with my mom, she also disappeared on ends, dumping me to places to stay while she was gone to goodness knows where. When I got older, I was told that she did that to get her life together, but during the weekend visits, I still see that she seemed to be doing fine somehow without me. It was an alternate visitation thing. Every other weekend, I go visit my dad and the other weekends with my mom. I remember one of our visitations was that she stayed in a very classy-looking condo (or was it apartment?) which was sponsored by her boyfriend that she made when she was away doing god knows what. I remember it very clearly because it was mostly white-themed and there was always a big TV in front of me playing a very classical Taiwan TV series called "Xue Ke" or "Snow" in Mandarin, and there was a swimming pool just a block away from it.
Unlike my dad who moved me from family to family, I stayed put in one for a year and a half (possibly from the lower half of Primary 1 to the end of Primary 2). It was a big family of 7 living under one roof with a plump granny, 3 daughters and 3 sons. The eldest daughter, who was my mom's colleague, was somehow convinced to adopt me for a while and I soon found myself living with a bunch of people I barely met. I have no idea how they are willing to spend money on me on my schooling and food and stuff, but I guess probably my mom had a hand in paying their expenses on me.
If I'm not mistaken, I think it was roughly that time where I had a hiatus in going back to my mother's hometown in Taiwan. Either my mom couldn't afford it, or she just went off on her own. I dunno. Not that it bothered me, because I had a new family to acquaint myself with.
They were a nice family. Firm but nice. The granny was a great cook, and she's always allowing me to have tidbits. The eldest daughter is a strict woman, serving as a disciplinary figure because of her responsibility to look after me, but she is mostly harmless, just strict.
The second daughter was the nicest person you would ever be with, and I remember her most by her curly hair. She loves music, and I remember that she was the one who got me introduced to the original Eternal Flame song, and she loves karaoke and got me into liking it as well. She is a devout Roman Catholic (I think) and goes to church every Sunday, and she actually took me along with her once. The mass I remember the most was being in a huge church hall and it was the day they were serving the Holy Communion, with the bread and wine. She told me I couldn't take it because it was meant for adults, but it was later on that I knew that I couldn't take it because I wasn't baptized, and the drink was probably real wine anyway.
The youngest daughter was a minute, dark, Plain Jane woman who looks like a typical geek girl and the most I remember about her was that she loved making those origami stars. I sleep with the daughters and granny in one room, and the sons have their own room to sleep in. I'm not sure what the other two daughters were working as, but I think the second daughter is an office worker. A secretary or a clerk, maybe.
The sons, on the other hand were probably not that close to me, but they exist in my life all the same. The eldest son is fat, dark and huge, who works as a contractor and has a Filipino wife (who could talk basic Chinese) and a son. Their room was always pitch black, because it was originally just a storeroom with no windows, and they slept on mattresses on the floor, and the most I remember was always being in the room to watch Old Master Q animated movies with the son and laughing our heads off.
The second son is probably the richest and most successful of all the sons (not sure what he worked as) and had the most beautiful wife any man could have (due to the fact that she works as an air stewardess), and also had a son, I think. She was even my favourite of the daughter-in-laws in the household, and their room was my favourite too, although it'll be very rare to actually get to go in there. They have nice carpeting and plenty of vanity items, including a Nintendo that came along with console and a gun for shooting games, and we get to watch cartoons like Tom & Jerry in the room on their nice bed.
The youngest son is the only bachelor and he works as a teacher, out teaching in the day and at home giving tuition at night at the dining room, so I had a lot of teenage friends at the same time. He always looked grumpy, and I never saw him smile before, so I'm mostly afraid or detached from him, and he is a quiet person when he's not teaching, so I don't talk to him much either. But he's still a nice guy, just a little anti-social.
During my stay there, it was an experience. It was like having a family that I used to have, just with more family members. I even got to know my paternal aunt whom I never knew I had because she was friends with the family. I made friends with their nieces and nephews and watched how old school chicken slaughter was done (their way by drowning the chicken in bloody boiling water to enable easier feather-plucking). I finally learnt how to bathe on my own thanks to the second son's pretty wife (yes, I was a spoiled brat, I know), with her standing at the door to guard me from Peeping Toms and telling me which part to scrub and soap and which part to rinse.
I remember fabricating a lie of being molested because I couldn't understand why it stung to pee (probably just to get attention, in which years later I figured out it was a one-time thing, something to do with the acidic content of my pee coz I don't bloody drink water), which in turn make me end up bringing in my mother to try and find out who the culprit is that “molested” me because I didn't know better and didn't know that being molested was a very serious issue for the adults, though I don’t know if they ever found out that I was lying. I was there when the eldest daughter was being courted by her man and was her flower girl at her wedding with another niece of theirs (getting make-up on was a killer, because I hate make-up).
The day I knew I was no longer going to live with the family was the day the eldest daughter officially moved in to her new home with her hubby. Since I was the eldest daughter's responsibility to take care of, I ended up moving in with her. I was like an instant daughter for the family. Routes for the school bus change were arranged, and I go about my schooling and tuition as usual, but instead of returning home to the family, I returned home to the eldest daughter.
I was really good friends with the man of the house, and sometimes when he has his headaches, I would help him massage it, and as a reward he let me watch whatever show I want for a while, and at that time period, cartoons and live-action Kamen Rider was my fav on the list. My mom would pick me up for the weekends to spend with her or to send me to see my dad, although usually, the method was that my dad would pick me up from school or from tuition on Fridays then send me back to the eldest daughter's home after end of visitation.
Finally, just like that, my mother relieved the eldest daughter of her duties as a foster parent and took me away to live with her in a double-storey home deep down the district after a public trekking park area, which was also the same route towards my dad's home.
That's where the tip of the iceberg of my nightmare began to surface...
Except the fact that I was living with my mom the demon and the weekend visits.
I both look forward and dread the thought of visiting my dad because every Friday, my mom would ask me if I want to go see my dad. It's a lose-lose situation. If I said no, I won't get to see him and I'll have to suffer being with my mom and her insufferable temper. But if I said yes, she'd throw a fit, demanding me to tell her the reason why I should go visit “that man” and beat me black and blue before releasing me to my dad. If I don't give her a good reason, black and blue ensued. If I give her an honest reason she will freak out and retaliate and black and blue ensued as well (like the last time I told her that I want to go because I needed freedom and she started flaring out, demanding “Are you saying I don't give you enough freedom?! When have I ever confined you?!” etc, etc…).
Despite the fact that she had attained forced custody over me, she was also not exactly the best mom in the world. Sure, she fed me, dressed me, schooled me, paid the bills and such, but at the price of enduring her ever-lasting mood swings and tantrums that could rival a 4-year-old on steroids. She demanded attention, full-hearted loyalty (not a daughter's love, mind you, a daughter's LOYALTY) and seem to have made it her mission to make me hate my dad, telling me what an asshole my dad is and that if I don't shape up, I'll be just like him. I pretend to go with her flow for the sake of my life, but I know that she knows deep down inside I could never be swayed, making her even more insecure of my loyalty and bully me more into submission.
I remember before I officially stayed put with my mom, she also disappeared on ends, dumping me to places to stay while she was gone to goodness knows where. When I got older, I was told that she did that to get her life together, but during the weekend visits, I still see that she seemed to be doing fine somehow without me. It was an alternate visitation thing. Every other weekend, I go visit my dad and the other weekends with my mom. I remember one of our visitations was that she stayed in a very classy-looking condo (or was it apartment?) which was sponsored by her boyfriend that she made when she was away doing god knows what. I remember it very clearly because it was mostly white-themed and there was always a big TV in front of me playing a very classical Taiwan TV series called "Xue Ke" or "Snow" in Mandarin, and there was a swimming pool just a block away from it.
Unlike my dad who moved me from family to family, I stayed put in one for a year and a half (possibly from the lower half of Primary 1 to the end of Primary 2). It was a big family of 7 living under one roof with a plump granny, 3 daughters and 3 sons. The eldest daughter, who was my mom's colleague, was somehow convinced to adopt me for a while and I soon found myself living with a bunch of people I barely met. I have no idea how they are willing to spend money on me on my schooling and food and stuff, but I guess probably my mom had a hand in paying their expenses on me.
If I'm not mistaken, I think it was roughly that time where I had a hiatus in going back to my mother's hometown in Taiwan. Either my mom couldn't afford it, or she just went off on her own. I dunno. Not that it bothered me, because I had a new family to acquaint myself with.
They were a nice family. Firm but nice. The granny was a great cook, and she's always allowing me to have tidbits. The eldest daughter is a strict woman, serving as a disciplinary figure because of her responsibility to look after me, but she is mostly harmless, just strict.
The second daughter was the nicest person you would ever be with, and I remember her most by her curly hair. She loves music, and I remember that she was the one who got me introduced to the original Eternal Flame song, and she loves karaoke and got me into liking it as well. She is a devout Roman Catholic (I think) and goes to church every Sunday, and she actually took me along with her once. The mass I remember the most was being in a huge church hall and it was the day they were serving the Holy Communion, with the bread and wine. She told me I couldn't take it because it was meant for adults, but it was later on that I knew that I couldn't take it because I wasn't baptized, and the drink was probably real wine anyway.
The youngest daughter was a minute, dark, Plain Jane woman who looks like a typical geek girl and the most I remember about her was that she loved making those origami stars. I sleep with the daughters and granny in one room, and the sons have their own room to sleep in. I'm not sure what the other two daughters were working as, but I think the second daughter is an office worker. A secretary or a clerk, maybe.
The sons, on the other hand were probably not that close to me, but they exist in my life all the same. The eldest son is fat, dark and huge, who works as a contractor and has a Filipino wife (who could talk basic Chinese) and a son. Their room was always pitch black, because it was originally just a storeroom with no windows, and they slept on mattresses on the floor, and the most I remember was always being in the room to watch Old Master Q animated movies with the son and laughing our heads off.
The second son is probably the richest and most successful of all the sons (not sure what he worked as) and had the most beautiful wife any man could have (due to the fact that she works as an air stewardess), and also had a son, I think. She was even my favourite of the daughter-in-laws in the household, and their room was my favourite too, although it'll be very rare to actually get to go in there. They have nice carpeting and plenty of vanity items, including a Nintendo that came along with console and a gun for shooting games, and we get to watch cartoons like Tom & Jerry in the room on their nice bed.
The youngest son is the only bachelor and he works as a teacher, out teaching in the day and at home giving tuition at night at the dining room, so I had a lot of teenage friends at the same time. He always looked grumpy, and I never saw him smile before, so I'm mostly afraid or detached from him, and he is a quiet person when he's not teaching, so I don't talk to him much either. But he's still a nice guy, just a little anti-social.
During my stay there, it was an experience. It was like having a family that I used to have, just with more family members. I even got to know my paternal aunt whom I never knew I had because she was friends with the family. I made friends with their nieces and nephews and watched how old school chicken slaughter was done (their way by drowning the chicken in bloody boiling water to enable easier feather-plucking). I finally learnt how to bathe on my own thanks to the second son's pretty wife (yes, I was a spoiled brat, I know), with her standing at the door to guard me from Peeping Toms and telling me which part to scrub and soap and which part to rinse.
I remember fabricating a lie of being molested because I couldn't understand why it stung to pee (probably just to get attention, in which years later I figured out it was a one-time thing, something to do with the acidic content of my pee coz I don't bloody drink water), which in turn make me end up bringing in my mother to try and find out who the culprit is that “molested” me because I didn't know better and didn't know that being molested was a very serious issue for the adults, though I don’t know if they ever found out that I was lying. I was there when the eldest daughter was being courted by her man and was her flower girl at her wedding with another niece of theirs (getting make-up on was a killer, because I hate make-up).
The day I knew I was no longer going to live with the family was the day the eldest daughter officially moved in to her new home with her hubby. Since I was the eldest daughter's responsibility to take care of, I ended up moving in with her. I was like an instant daughter for the family. Routes for the school bus change were arranged, and I go about my schooling and tuition as usual, but instead of returning home to the family, I returned home to the eldest daughter.
I was really good friends with the man of the house, and sometimes when he has his headaches, I would help him massage it, and as a reward he let me watch whatever show I want for a while, and at that time period, cartoons and live-action Kamen Rider was my fav on the list. My mom would pick me up for the weekends to spend with her or to send me to see my dad, although usually, the method was that my dad would pick me up from school or from tuition on Fridays then send me back to the eldest daughter's home after end of visitation.
Finally, just like that, my mother relieved the eldest daughter of her duties as a foster parent and took me away to live with her in a double-storey home deep down the district after a public trekking park area, which was also the same route towards my dad's home.
That's where the tip of the iceberg of my nightmare began to surface...
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