Stories that are collected from the depths of the unknown or spawned from the deep recesses of my mind...
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Leonard's Pumpkins
I moved out on my own just a few months ago. My house is in a pretty decent neighborhood, and at 25 going on 26 I’m doing pretty good career wise. Socially, however, I am lacking. I mean yes, I had friends back where I used to live, but after high school and college everyone just kinda went their separate ways, which is understandable.
Being a high functioning autistic, it's kinda hard for me to meet new people, especially when your autism makes even picking up a phone to call your parents seem like a chore. I did manage to take one friend with me; my best friend and roommate, Nyx. She’s the cutest black cat I’ve ever seen, and my Dad found her for me about 15 years ago when she was just a kitten. We lived together in this two story house for about two or three months.
It was the night before Halloween, and I was carving a pumpkin for a jack-o-lantern. This would be my first Halloween alone, but my parents were coming up for my birthday on the 2nd of November. I was pretty congested. It was bad enough that I called out of work, which I don’t often do. Still, I wanted to be a nice guy and try to give out candy. Hell I just needed to socialize a little bit.
Who knew, maybe one of the neighbors would be a nice lady my age? I shrugged cynically, knowing my luck even if there were I’d hardly talk to any of these people. I finished my jack-o-lantern while listening to some gothic music to set the mood, all the while sniffling and trying to pop my ears.
I had made a career out of my artistic skills, luckily. This did not apply to jack-o-lanterns though, sadly. The finished product of my pumpkin carving, which broke both carving knives and took a serrated kitchen knife to finish, looked like a disfigured demon with a facial tic. I was both amused and slightly disturbed at what my clumsy hands had created, but still satisfied enough to keep it.
The next night went pretty well, save for my now congested throat and chest and sinus pressure. I received plenty of reactions to my jack-o-lantern, ranging from laughs to slight recoils in terror. As the evening went by the trick-or-treaters became even more disturbed, and at the end of the night I found out why. I looked at the pumpkin, and what had started out looking like an abomination had shriveled into something that literally looked like a twisted skull. I coughed and chuckled, feeling somewhat sympathetic toward it. I felt like I wanted to shrivel up too.
I woke up probably about noon that next day, feeling even worse than last night. I was dizzy as hell, I couldn’t breathe, and I was almost completely deaf. My ears rang, and felt as if they would explode. I didn’t want to get up, had no real reason to, but I did anyway. I at least wanted to check the mail or get something to eat and maybe take some decongestant.
As I stumbled downstairs and shuffled outside in my robe and slippers to get the mail, I noticed that my pumpkin had vanished. I had already planned on throwing it out anyway, but I was still mildly surprised that it was just gone. Someone must have stolen it either late last night or this morning, I didn’t care. I’m sick and they did me a favor either way. I went inside with the mail and thought very little of it. I had myself a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a coke as I took my meds, then shuffled upstairs to lie in bed and watch TV in my room. As crappy as I felt I didn’t want to do anything else.
I woke up at 8:36, by what my clock told me, my TV still playing. I felt even more so dead to the world, and could barely lift my head. When I finally managed to do so, I saw Nyx curled up at my feet.
It was such a precious sight, and with my hoarse voice I said “Hi Nyxie!” She didn’t respond. She must have been fast asleep. I reached to pet her when I felt her body, stiff and cold. Again she didn’t move. Oh god… She was dead. My best friend of 15 years, died beside me while I slept. My hands shook, and I immediately began to weep.
I wept continuously, my head feeling full and unable to really hear my own sobs through my clogged ears. Even worse, my sobs were interrupted by worsening coughing fits. How could this happen to me? And on the day before my birthday, no less! I sobbed and coughed bitterly when the irony hit me that my birthday was known as the Hispanic Day of the Dead. Happy Birthday to me... Fuck my life.
Around midnight I finally stood up, although teetering, and took my cat’s lifeless body downstairs and got a shovel out of my garage. I went to the backyard and dug a hole, next to my room window. I placed a stone where I buried her to mark her grave, in memory of the best friend I ever had.
As I dizzily walked back to my house in a mix of soft sobs, sniffles and coughs, I thought about how this is probably a sign that I need to get out and socialize more. Fuck my autism. My dad’s right, I need friends. My thoughts were interrupted when I got to my front porch and noticed the pumpkin that was sitting there in the darkness.
I almost mistook it for the jack-o-lantern I thought had been taken. When I got closer I noticed the light inside was red, almost like an LED was inside it. And the pumpkin was as black as this night. The face… A cat’s face was carved into this black pumpkin!
What psychopath would do this to me? Was I being mocked?! Who the hell was watching me, to know that I had just buried my black cat, and made a fucking effigy of her in a pumpkin?! I screamed in a mixture of rage and grief as I hurled the pumpkin into the street in front of my house, dashing it to pieces and watching the red light disperse. I then stumbled inside, feeling even sicker than before.
I woke up three hours later face down on the couch. By this I mean my face was literally in the seat of the couch, and the rest of me was on the floor. I must have collapsed in a mixture of all the grief, confusion, anger, and sickness. I attempted to stand up and walk, but after making it to my recliner I collapsed again. At this point I was so dead to the world that I couldn’t hear at all. The cold mixed with the hollowed out feeling of losing Nyx made it almost impossible to feel anything. I wanted to go to sleep forever. Knowing that was probably stupid of me, and feeling the inability to actually go to sleep, I decided to see what was on TV. I picked up the remote for the downstairs TV and clicked it.
I clicked the remote again. “The hell?” I thought aloud. I saw the LED on the remote come on, why wasn’t the TV coming on? “Don’t tell me it’s dead too! I just bought the damn thing!” For the first time today I felt something other than grief, and strangely I welcomed it. My frustration turned to slight amusement when I considered the thought that I might find another pumpkin on my porch, this time for my TV.
Out of sheer curiosity, I decided to actually walk outside and check. I slowly and carefully stood up to counteract the light headed feeling I had and shuffled to the door. Sure enough, as soon as I opened the door, I saw a different shaped and colored pumpkin than before.
I laughed my ass off. Even as screwed up as I felt, I laughed through my coughing fits. Whoever the psychopath was that was leaving pumpkins of who died on my porch, they sure had a sense of humor. I think my head cold made me a little delirious, because the situation should have been more unnerving, all things considered. After I stood back up from cackling hoarsely and coughing, I noticed the pumpkin’s skin color.
It wasn’t a color I normally saw in a pumpkin; it had a fleshy, olive color to it. My stomach sank when I looked down at my arm and back to the pumpkin. It was my skin tone! I panicked, and the next thing I remember I was in front of the pumpkin as if I had just appeared there. The pumpkin was unlit, and with it being 3 a.m. I could barely make out what it was. Suddenly the inside of the jack-o-lantern lit up, revealing to me what I had dreaded to see. It was my face.
Oh no. Oh hell no. These pumpkins weren’t markers of who died. They were warnings. Some serial killer must be marking his targets with jack-o-lanterns or something! Shit! Panicking, I bolted inside. More like floated, actually, as dizzy as I felt.
I started upstairs to my bedroom to get my ninja sword out from under my pillow. This asshole wasn’t gonna take me without a fight! As I got about halfway upstairs the realization hit me; if this jack-o-lantern killer had killed Nyx, how’d he make it look like she died of natural causes? I got my answer as I rounded the corner and entered my bedroom.
I saw Nyx, curled up on my bed as I found her earlier, as if I hadn’t buried her. Lying next to my limp body. I can’t tell if I was horrified or stunned at the surreal nature of what I had just seen, but out of reflex I gasped. This sent me into a coughing fit, worse than the previous ones. I coughed as if my lungs were trying to come up. My head pounded as I whooped and hacked, and I collapsed to the floor as my vision blurred. And then it narrowed…
The obituary read, “Leonard Timothy Schmidt, November 2, 1986-November 2, 2012” After two agonizing days of being bedridden with temperatures above 100 degrees, Leonard succumbed at 3:33 a.m. on his 26th birthday. His father and mother, who had come to visit him, found him lifeless in his bed that morning. He was lying with his beloved feline, Nyx. Forensics concluded that after 15 long years, she died of old age, curled up next to her best friend merely hours prior.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Zombie
I can't stop running...because he'll be behind me. I know that he will catch up to me. That man....no.....that thing.....that monster.
I will take you a few hours back.
It is October 13th, 2003. Five of my friends and I made a dare...stay in the old abandoned school yard at the edge of town overnight....bring no weapons, no cellphones...nothing but the clothes on our backs and a flashlight in handy. And one particular rule that I would later come to regret...do not meet up with each other. You are to stay alone in a separate part of the building. For the entire night.
As my friends and I entered the school building, we looked at each other, nodded, and went our separate ways, switching our flashlights on. I looked back briefly, seeing my friends' flashlight lights disappear in the distant darkness. If only I had called it off then....if only I knew....if only I had listened to the freaking "superstitious" neighbors, then we'd all be safe. But me and my so called daring nature decided to take this dare head on.
It wasn't long before I reached the end of one of the hallways. I plopped down into the corner, flashlight in both hands, and I began to wait for what seemed like forever. I started to play around with my flashlight a little bit, thinking of how to gloat to my neighbors that there was no so called "Dead Man" in the building....that me and my friends all came out alive and well, and no one else but us was in that building for the entire night. I chuckled at the thought.
That'll show them what they get for trying to scare us.
It was then, that I heard it. That scream. That loud, agonizing scream. No doubt, it was the voice of one of my friends in the distance.....but it seemed like it wasn't too far off. In normal situations (without any dares involved), a person would immediately jump to their feet and run to the rescue.
Not me. I assumed it to be a way of trying to scare me.....a way for me to lose the dare entirely. Ha! Who do they think they are messing with? That won't fool me. I thought, smiling to myself. As I think back to that time, I regret not running to the direction of the scream.....then they'd have been safe.
THUNK shfffffff
What??
THUNK shfffff THUNK shfffff THUNK shffff THUNK shffffff
One of my friends again, no doubt in my mind. Trying to scare me again. Making uneasy noises to make me "shake in my boots." It was coming in my direction.
THUNK shffffff THUNK shfffff THUNK shffffff THUNK shfffffff THUNK shfffffff
It was then when I realized one of the rules of the dare.....no one was to meet up at all.
They're just giving up like that? Or maybe they are desperate to get me out of the dare.
With this, I turned off my light, thinking of scaring them as punishment. I moved myself behind the lockers, and peeked around the corner. I would jump out from behind and scare the bejesus out of them. I snickered quietly to myself, my eyes finally adjusting to the darkness. I saw the dark shadow of one of them approaching, slowly but surely.
THUNK shfffff THUNK shffff THUNK shffff
That's right. Come closer. Face your punishment.
THUNK shffffff THUNK shffffff THUNK shfffffffff THUNK shfffff
I froze, my heart nearly stopping. The figure was closer now......but larger than any of my friends at all. It had to be 6....no.....7 feet tall at least. It was large, like a muscular man. It was becoming clearer and clearer. This wasn't one of my friends. Not at all.
THUNK shffffff THUNK shffffff THUNK shffffff THUNK shfffff THUNK shfffffff
As it drew closer, I noticed something large behind it......it was dragging something. Something.....human sized.
Oh no.......OH GOD no......Please, don't be what I think it is. PLEASE GOD.......
THUNK shfffff THUNK shfffff THUNK THUNK
Without thinking, my head slowly looked up......at this thing......this large, muscular thing with blood-stained bandages wrapped tightly around its head. The only thing showing was his eye....his horrid, bright yellow eye that looked like it belonged to a deadly predator. It's body......completely covered in grotesque scars, that almost hid his grey-green skin. It had the body of the man....but I knew.....this was no human.
WHAM!!!!
I jumped, cupping my hands over my mouth to suppress any sort of noise whatsoever. I didn't want to look.....but my head moved on it's own, looking directly next to me.
I held back my scream......it was one of my friends......well, I could tell from her blood-stained clothes. Both of her arms were twisted in different directions, and what's worse.....her face. It was completely caved in to the point of no recognition. Her head was completely turned around, as if to have been struck with such force, that her neck did a 360. Tears of fear and overwhelming grief flowed from my eyes. This monster......killed her....and threw her with such force onto the ground in front of him......directly next to me.
THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK
My eyes darted in the direction of that....thing. It was walking away. Slowly, but I knew that it was going in the opposite direction. I waited until it was out of my field of vision to move again.
I have to reach the others......if they get caught......
I shuddered at the vision of my four remaining friends dying at the hands of that monster. So quietly, I set off to another end of the school.
It took a while, but I finally reached a narrow hallway, which I seemed to remember one of my friends disappearing to. I walked swiftly down the hall.......
That STENCH. That horrible, raw stench of meat......
....And there it was. The remains of what used to be my friend.....splattered everywhere......flattened like a pancake. The ceiling.....the walls.....the floorboards. Covered in blood and human meat.
Without thinking, I screamed in terror, falling flat on my back, my white shoes being stained with the blood of my friend. I scrambled backward on my hands and feet, away from the horrific sight. I stumbled up to my feet, and turned around.
It was right in front of me......growling like a hungry wolf ready to strike, his horrid yellow eye fixated on me. I stopped breathing.
Slowly, its right arm reached behind its back and grabbed something.......something huge.
My only description of what I saw......a 6 foot-tall meat cleaver, sharper than anything that I have ever seen. Covered in fresh, dripping blood.
It lifted the giant cleaver over its head with both hands and swung down with great force. My reflexes caught up with me, as I dodged it sideways, hearing it cut clean into the floorboards. Without a second thought, I ran. As fast and hard as I could.
I HAVE TO GET OUT!!! OH GOD, I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!
With each doorknob I felt, I stopped and tried to open it. But every one I hit was locked tight. And each time I stopped, I could hear his loud, slow footsteps directly behind me......getting closer each time. So I continued to run. No stopping, no breaks. I couldn't. He'd KILL me.
Now, I bring you back to the present......and I have found it. The exit. I finally found it! I stumble, jumping at the knob of the door, laughing uncontrollably.
Finally, I'm free! I'M GODDAMN FREE!!! SWEET OUTSIDE WORLD!
Kachickachick
What? No......NONONONONONONONO, this isn't right!!!!! THIS ISN'T....
Shlick
I look down. The end of a sharp meat cleaver is pierced through my chest.
N-no......how? I was so close! I was so.......
Police Report:
October 20th, 2003
After a long search, the bodies of the five missing high school students were found in the abandoned schoolyard at approximately 7 am.
Each student was slaughtered and massacred beyond recognition.
The sixth student still has yet to be discovered...
----
Written by Anne Dugan
Friday, October 29, 2010
The Note
This is a love story. Please try to remember that as you read this, love. It’s really about Julie.
I knew from the moment I set eyes on her that I’d do anything to have her. Fortunately though, I didn’t have to work very hard. I could see it in her eyes the first time I talked to her and asked her out. She wanted me to and she said yes before I even finished asking. Her eyes sparkle like diamonds, it’s one of my favorite things about her.
We were quick to say “I love you”, only a few dates in, but we were sure.
My place is full of my idiot friends and we’ve started talking about getting a place of our own. My best friend, Greg, doesn’t get along the best with her and isn’t very happy about me moving out but he understands. We all hang out together sometimes, see movies, bowl, normal stuff like that.
Well, I got a call a couple nights ago from Julie’s parents, who live out of state. They said they got a call from the police and that Julie had been in a car accident. Drunk driver crossed the center line, what a cliché right? Anyway, I was panicked out of my mind speeding like crazy to the hospital when Julie called me on my cell. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw her name on the called ID. I answered the phone not quite letting myself get my hopes up just yet. After all, it could have been someone calling me from her phone. Relief washed over me like rain when I heard her voice: “Baby? I’m okay, it wasn’t that bad, just some bumps and bruises. The airbags and seat belt did all the work, are you okay?” I don’t mind admitting, I pulled over and cried for a long time. She said she was checking out of the hospital shortly and I could pick her up there.
When I got to the hospital I had myself pretty well composed. I walked in and was just making my way to the help desk when I heard her call my name. I turned around and saw her, the sparkle was out of her eyes (which wasn’t that surprising, I thought, considering what had happened), but otherwise seemingly none the worse for the wear. I completely lost what composure I thought I had. I broke down again and we held eachother and she slid her hand onto the back of my neck and into my hair like she does when I’m upset, and after a minute or two we made our way to my car.
Julie told me the drunk driver had been killed, and I thought “good, better him than Julie” and I’m not the least bit ashamed of it. I would have killed him myself if I could have. But she was OK and that was all I cared about then.
When we got back to my place no one was home and the house was dark, which was odd since there was almost always someone home and those idiot roommates of mine always forget to kill the lights when they leave.
Julie was feeling a little chilly and she looked a little pale so we cuddled up under some blankets and fell asleep almost immediately. It had been a trying day after all. I remember the last thing she said to me as we were falling asleep: “I’ll love you forever, baby.”
I called into work the next day to stay home with Julie, she was feeling pretty stiff, again not surprising. I had some missed calls from family and friends, no doubt they’d heard what happened and were checking in. I’d get back to them later.
Maybe it was just the accident, or that I hadn’t seen Julie without makeup in… ever, but she didn’t look very good, I mean her color was off and her eyes looked slightly hollow. And the sparkle still wasn’t there. I suggested taking her back to the hospital, but she insisted she was fine, just tired and sore.
Well, a couple more days went by and I told work I was staying home with Julie until she was feeling better. But she wasn’t getting better. Her eyes were the worst of it. More hollow all the time, and her skin was downright cold to the touch. It was getting to the point where I was going to bring her back to the hospital, whether she wanted to go or not, and that was when I got the phone call. It was Julie’s mom. She had been crying and was clearly making an effort to stay composed.
Julie’s service was to be held the day after tomorrow she said. I asked her what she was talking about, service for what? I was confused.
Julie walked up to me as I stood there on the phone. She was looking right into my eyes when her mom said “I know this is hard for you, it’s hard for all of us, but Julie’s gone and we can’t bring her back, we all loved her but she’s gone.”
I still didn’t understand until I saw the look of horror in Julie’s eyes. She knew, this whole time she knew. She didn’t survive the accident yet somehow she was here and suddenly I understood. Her eyes: hollow and sunk in, the sparkle gone. Her skin, cold and discolored. She was dead and I was watching her slowly decay! My stomach dropped and I felt myself fall. Julie caught me, and I felt her cold hands and felt the coldness for what it was, death. I heard her mom on the phone, a tiny voice calling my name over and over. I picked up the phone and told her I was listening, Julie silent the whole time. Her mom repeated that the service was the day after tomorrow and her body would be cremated at noon the next day. Numbly, I told her okay, thanked her, and told her I’d see her then.
I hung up the phone and Julie and I just stared at each other for a long time. There was no doubt now, I was looking at someone who was not alive. Eventually I said one word: How?
She said she didn’t know, and she didn’t care. And you know what? Neither did I.
She came with me to the service, and it wasn’t like what happens in the movies, where people walk through her like she’s not there or anything like that. They couldn’t see her, that much was obvious, but somehow no one bumped into her, and when they made space for me, it seemed they made space for her to, although they didn’t seem to know they were doing it. When I talked to her parents she was with me, silent but strong, for me. When I viewed her body she was with me. Her hand, (cold now, so cold) finding that spot on my neck. She looked exactly as she always had, beautiful, healthy. But I knew it was makeup and artificial. Underneath she would look exactly like the Julie that had her cold hand on my neck. It was a hard thing, looking down at her, but she was so supportive and I knew this was why I loved her and couldn’t be without her.
We left and went back to my place. My roommates were home but stayed out of our way as we went to my room. That night we didn’t sleep, we just held each other and I didn’t care at all how cold she was. We cried, and talked. Laughed at the funny memories and cried more. We didn’t talk about what was happening or what was going to happen.
As darkness began to lose the battle and light filled the sky, a horrifying thought occurred to me, and somehow I knew it would be true. I was seeing Julie as she was. I mean, literally seeing her as her body was. And she was set to be cremated at noon. Do you understand? She was to be burned until nothing would be left but ash and I would have to watch it happen.
I was on the phone immediately to her parents, to the funeral home, to her church. No one would listen. They all thought it was grief. I felt rage and despair building inside me and was about to completely break down when I felt her hand on my neck, in that spot, and she turned my head so I was looking into her eyes, now very hollow and turning grotesque. She told me it was okay, it was okay. She told me she would love me forever and I knew in that moment what I was going to do.
Those last few hours we watched the sun come up and what became a beautiful day. We watched clouds turn into funny shapes. As noon approached I made an excuse to go to my closet and then we waited. When noon hit we were both crying again, but nothing happened. We were just starting to wonder what that meant when I saw the look in her eyes, just as before, she knew. She felt it before I saw it. She told me it didn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt baby. She began to smoke and her hair caught on fire. A cold calm set over me and I took her tight into my arms. The flames began to burn me to. She tried to push me away, to protect me. She fought my hold but her strength was fading. I could feel the flames now burning into me but I didn’t care, I wouldn’t let her go through this alone and I didn’t need to live much longer anyway. We didn’t scream, we just sat there together and burned. Her hair was gone and her face and skin turned black and I held her tighter and to my chest. I told her I’d love her forever and that I’d see her soon. I held her until she was ash in my arms and she fell through my fingers.
I reached for what I had taken out of the closet, and suddenly she was gone, not a trace of her left. No ash remained anywhere, nothing was burned, even my own burns were gone.
Was it grief? Did I imagine the whole thing? Was she ever here? I don’t know. But I wrote this so my family and friends know why I had to do this. I won’t stay here without her. I can’t. I’ll find her somehow and the sparkle will be in her eyes again and everything will be okay and like it was. I’m sorry about this mom, dad. But I hope you understand. I’m going now, I hope I don’t get blood on this.
via: official-creepypasta.tumbl
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Bros Grimm Tales: Short Story Collection

STRAW, COAL & BEAN
An old woman lived in a village. She had gathered a serving of beans and wanted to cook them, so she prepared a fire in her fireplace. To make it burn faster she lit it with a handful of straw. While she was pouring the beans into the pot, one of them fell unnoticed to the floor, coming to rest next to a piece of straw. Soon afterward a glowing coal jumped out of the fireplace and landed next to them.
The straw said, "Dear friends, where do you come from?"
The coal answered, "I jumped from the fireplace, to my good fortune. If I had not forced my way out, I surely would have died. I would have burned to ash."
The bean said, "I too saved my skin. If the old woman had gotten me into the pot I would have been cooked to mush without mercy, just like my comrades."
"Would my fate have been any better?" said the straw. "The old woman sent all my brothers up in fire and smoke. She grabbed sixty at once and killed them. Fortunately I slipped through her fingers."
"What should we do now?" asked the coal.
"Because we have so fortunately escaped death," answered the bean, "I think that we should join together as comrades. To prevent some new misfortune from befalling us here, let us together make our way to another land."
This proposal pleased the other two, and they set forth all together.
They soon came to a small brook, and because there was neither a bridge nor a walkway there, they did not know how they would get across it.
Then the straw had a good idea, and said, "I will lay myself across it, and you can walk across me like on a bridge."
So the straw stretched himself from one bank to the other. The coal, who was a hot-headed fellow, stepped brashly onto the newly constructed bridge, but when he got to the middle and heard the water rushing beneath him, he took fright, stopped, and did not dare to go any further. Then the straw caught fire, broke into two pieces, and fell into the brook. The coal slid after him, hissed as he fell into the water, and gave up the ghost.
The bean who had cautiously stayed behind on the bank had to laugh at the event. He could not stop, and he laughed so fiercely that he burst. Now he too would have died, but fortunately a wandering tailor was there, resting near the brook. Having a compassionate heart, he got out a needle and thread and sewed the bean back together.
The bean thanked him most kindly. However, because he had used black thread, since that time all beans have had a black seam.
--:--
HERR KORBESOnce upon a time there were a rooster and a hen who wanted to take a journey together. So the rooster built a handsome carriage with four red wheels, and hitched four mice to it. The hen climbed aboard with the rooster, and they drove away together.
Not long afterward they met a cat, who said, "Where are you going?"
The rooster answered, "We're on our way to Herr Korbes's house."
"Take me with you," said the cat.
The rooster answered, "Gladly. Climb on behind, so you won't fall off the front. Be careful not to get my red wheels dirty. Roll, wheels. Whistle, mice. We're on our way to Herr Korbes's house."
Then a millstone came along, then an egg, then a duck, then a pin, and finally a needle. They all climbed aboard the carriage and rode with them.
But when they arrived at Herr Korbes's house, he was not there. The mice pulled the carriage into the barn. The hen and the rooster flew onto a pole. The cat sat down in the fireplace and the duck in the water bucket. The egg rolled itself up in a towel. The pin stuck itself into a chair cushion. The needle jumped onto the bed in the middle of the pillow. The millstone lay down above the door.
Then Herr Korbes came home. He went to the fireplace, wanting to make a fire, and the cat threw ashes into his face. He ran quickly into the kitchen to wash himself, and the duck splashed water into his face. He wanted to dry himself off with the towel, but the egg rolled against him, broke, and glued his eyes shut. Wanting to rest, he sat down in the chair, and the pin pricked him. He fell into a rage and threw himself onto his bed, but when he laid his head on the pillow, the needle pricked him, causing him to scream and run out of the house. As he ran through the front door the millstone jumped down and struck him dead.
Herr Korbes must have been a very wicked man.
--:--
FRAU TRUDE
Once upon a time there was a small girl who was strong willed and forward, and whenever her parents said anything to her, she disobeyed them. How could anything go well with her?
One day she said to her parents: "I have heard so much about Frau Trude. Someday I want to go to her place. People say such amazing things are seen there, and such strange things happen there, that I have become very curious.
Her parents strictly forbade her, saying: "Frau Trude is a wicked woman who commits godless acts. If you go there, you will no longer be our child."
But the girl paid no attention to her parents and went to Frau Trude's place anyway.
When she arrived there, Frau Trude asked: "Why are you so pale?"
"Oh," she answered, trembling all over, "I saw something that frightened me."
"What did you see?"
"I saw a black man on your steps."
"That was a charcoal burner."
"Then I saw a green man."
"That was a huntsman."
"Then I saw a blood-red man."
"That was a butcher."
"Oh, Frau Trude, it frightened me when I looked through your window and could not see you, but instead saw the devil with a head of fire."
"Aha!" she said. "So you saw the witch properly outfitted. I have been waiting for you and wanting you for a long time. Light the way for me now!"
With that she turned to girl into a block of wood and threw it into the fire. When it was thoroughly aglow she sat down next to it, and warmed herself by it, saying: "It gives such a bright light!"
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THE HARE’S BRIDEThere was once a woman and her daughter who had a beautiful garden with cabbages. A hare got into it, and during the winter he ate all the cabbages. So the mother said to the daughter, "Go to the garden, and chase the hare away."
The girl said to the hare, "Shoo, shoo, hare! You're eating all our cabbages."
The hare said, "Come, girl, sit on my tail, and come with me to my hut."
The girl would not do that.
The next day the hare came again and ate cabbages, so the woman said to her daughter, "Go to the garden, and chase the hare away."
The girl said to the hare, "Shoo, shoo, hare! You're eating all our cabbages."
The hare said, "Come, girl, sit on my tail, and come with me to my hut."
The girl would not do that.
On the third day the hare came again and ate cabbages, so the woman said to her daughter, "Go to the garden and chase the hare away."
The girl said, "Shoo, shoo, hare! You're eating all our cabbages."
The hare said, "Come, girl, sit on my tail, and come with me to my hut."
So the girl sat on the hare's tail, and the hare took her far away to his little hut, and then said, "Now cook some green cabbage and millet. "I'm going out to invite guests to our wedding."
Then all the wedding guests arrived. Who were the wedding guests? I can tell you, because someone else told me. They were all hares, and the crow was there as parson to marry the bride and bridegroom, and the fox served as sexton, and their altar was under the rainbow.
But the girl was sad, for she was all alone.
The hare came up to her and said, "Open the door! Open the door! The wedding guests are making merry."
The bride cried and said nothing. The hare went away. Then the hare came back and said, "Open the door! Open the door! The wedding guests are hungry."
The bride continued to cry, and said nothing. The hare went away. Then he came back and said, "Open the door! Open the door! The wedding guests are waiting."
The bride said nothing, and the hare went away. Then she dressed a straw doll in her clothes, gave it a stirring-spoon, and stood it next to the millet pot. Then she went back to her mother.
The hare came once more and said, "Open the door! Open the door!" Then he opened the door himself and struck the doll on the head so that its cap fell off. Then the hare saw that this was not his bride, and he sadly went away.
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THE WOLF & THE MANOnce upon a time the fox was talking to the wolf about the strength of man, how no animal could withstand him, and how all were obliged to employ cunning in order to protect themselves from him.
The wolf answered, "If I could see a man just once, I would attack him nonetheless."
"I can help you to do that," said the fox. "Come to me early tomorrow morning, and I will show you one."
The wolf arrived on time, and the fox took him out to the path which the huntsman used every day. First an old discharged soldier came by.
"Is that a man?" asked the wolf.
"No," answered the fox. "He has been one."
Afterwards came a little boy on his way to school.
"Is that a man?"
"No, he will yet become one."
Finally a huntsman came by with his double-barreled gun on his back, and a sword at his side.
The fox said to the wolf, "Look, there comes a man. He is the one you must attack, but I am going back to my den."
The wolf then charged at the man.
When the huntsman saw him he said, "Too bad that I have not loaded with a bullet." Then he aimed and fired a load of shot into his face.
The wolf pulled an awful face, but did not let himself be frightened, and attacked him again, on which the huntsman gave him the second barrel. The wolf swallowed his pain and charged at the huntsman again, who in turn drew out his naked sword, and gave him a few blows with it left and right, so that, bleeding all over, he ran howling back to the fox.
"Well," Brother Wolf, said the fox, "how did you get along with man?"
"Oh," replied the wolf, "I never imagined the strength of man to be what it is. First, he took a stick from his shoulder, and blew into it, and then something flew into my face which tickled me terribly. Then he breathed once more into the stick, and it flew up my nose like lightning and hail. Then when I got next to him, he drew a naked rib out of his body, and he beat me so with it that he almost killed me."
"See what a braggart you are," said the fox. "You throw your hatchet so far that you cannot get it back again."
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THE FOX & THE CATIt happened that the cat met Mr. Fox in the woods. She thought, "He is intelligent and well experienced, and is highly regarded in the world," so she spoke to him in a friendly manner, "Good-day, my dear Mr. Fox. How is it going? How are you? How are you getting by in these hard times?"
The fox, filled with arrogance, examined the cat from head to feet, and for a long time did not know whether he should give an answer. At last he said, "Oh, you poor beard-licker, you speckled fool, you hungry mouse hunter, what are you thinking? Have you the nerve to ask how I am doing? What do you know? How many tricks do you understand?"
"I understand but one," answered the cat, modestly.
"What kind of a trick is it?" asked the fox.
"When the dogs are chasing me, I can jump into a tree and save myself."
"Is that all?" said the fox. "I am master of a hundred tricks, and in addition to that I have a sackful of cunning. I feel sorry for you. Come with me, and I will teach you how one escapes from the dogs."
Just then a hunter came by with four dogs. The cat jumped nimbly up a tree, and sat down at its top, where the branches and foliage completely hid her.
"Untie your sack, Mr. Fox, untie your sack," the cat shouted to him, but the dogs had already seized him, and were holding him fast.
"Oh, Mr. Fox," shouted the cat. "You and your hundred tricks are left in the lurch. If you been able to climb like I can, you would not have lost your life."
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THE OLD GRANDFATHER & HIS GRANDSONOnce upon a time there was a very, very old man. His eyes had grown dim, his ears deaf, and his knees shook. When he sat at the table, he could scarcely hold a spoon. He spilled soup on the tablecloth, and, beside that, some of his soup would run back out of his mouth.
His son and his son's wife were disgusted with this, so finally they made the old grandfather sit in the corner behind the stove, where they gave him his food in an earthenware bowl, and not enough at that. He sat there looking sadly at the table, and his eyes grew moist. One day his shaking hands could not hold the bowl, and it fell to the ground and broke. The young woman scolded, but he said not a word. He only sobbed. Then for a few hellers they bought him a wooden bowl and made him eat from it.
Once when they were all sitting there, the little grandson of four years pushed some pieces of wood together on the floor.
"What are you making?" asked his father.
"Oh, I'm making a little trough for you and mother to eat from when I'm big."
The man and the woman looked at one another and then began to cry. They immediately brought the old grandfather to the table, and always let him eat there from then on. And if he spilled a little, they did not say a thing.
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THE WATER NIXIEA little brother and little sister were playing by a well, and while they were playing there they both fell in. A water nixie was down there. She said, "Now I have you. Now you will have to work diligently for me," and she led them away with her.
She gave the girl tangled dirty flax to spin, and she had to fill a bottomless barrel with water. The boy had to chop down a tree with a dull ax, and all they got to eat were dumplings as hard as rocks.
Finally the children became so impatient, that they waited until one Sunday when the nixie was at church, and then ran away. When church was over, the nixie saw that the birds had flown away, and she followed them with long strides.
The children saw her from afar, and the girl threw a brush behind her, which turned into a large brush-mountain with thousands and thousands of spikes, which the nixie had to climb over with great difficulty, but she finally got to the other side.
When the children saw this the boy threw a comb behind him, which turned into a large comb-mountain with a thousand times a thousand teeth, but the nixie was able to keep hold of them, and finally got to the other side.
Then the girl threw a mirror behind her, which turned into a glass mountain, which was so slippery, so slippery that it was impossible for the nixie to climb over it.
Then she thought, "I will quickly go home and get my ax and chop the glass mountain in two."
However, by the time she returned and had chopped up the glass mountain, the children were far away and had escaped, so the water nixie had to trudge back to her well.
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SWEET PORRIDGEThere was a poor but pious little girl who lived alone with her mother, and they no longer had anything to eat. So the child went into the forest, and there an old woman met her. She knew of the girl's sorrow, and presented her with a little pot, which when she said, "Little pot, cook," would cook good, sweet millet porridge, and when she said, " Little pot, stop," it stopped cooking.
The girl took the pot home to her mother, and now they were freed from their poverty and hunger, and ate sweet porridge as often as they chose. One time when the girl had gone out, her mother said, "Little pot, cook." And it did cook, and she ate until she was full, and then she wanted the pot to stop cooking, but did not know the word. So it went on cooking and the porridge rose over the edge, and still it cooked on until the kitchen and whole house were full, and then the next house, and then the whole street, just as if it wanted to satisfy the hunger of the whole world. It was terrible, and no one knew how to stop it. At last when only one single house remained, the child came home and just said, "Little pot, stop," and it stopped cooking, and anyone who wished to return to the town had to eat his way back.
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THE BURIAL SHIRTA mother had a little boy of seven years who was so attractive and good natured that no one could look at him without liking him, and he was dearer to her than anything else in the world. He suddenly died, and the mother could find no solace. She cried day and night. However, soon after his burial, the child began to appear every night at those places where he had sat and played while still alive. When the mother cried, he cried as well, but when morning came he had disappeared.
The mother did not cease crying, and one night he appeared with the white shirt in which he had been laid into his coffin, and with the little wreath on his head. He sat down on the bed at her feet and said, "Oh, mother, please stop crying, or I will not be able to fall asleep in my coffin, because my burial shirt will not dry out from your tears that keep falling on it." This startled the mother, and she stopped crying.
The next night the child came once again. He had a little light in his hand and said, "See, my shirt is almost dry, and I will be able to rest in my grave." Then the mother surrendered her grief to God and bore it with patience and peace, and the child did not come again, but slept in his little bed beneath the earth.
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THE WILLFUL CHILDOnce upon a time there was a child who was willful and did not do what his mother wanted. For this reason God was displeased with him and caused him to become ill, and no doctor could help him, and in a short time he lay on his deathbed.
He was lowered into a grave and covered with earth, but his little arm suddenly came forth and reached up, and it didn't help when they put it back in and put fresh earth over it, for the little arm always came out again. So the mother herself had to go to the grave and beat the little arm with a switch, and as soon as she had done that, it withdrew, and the child finally came to rest beneath the earth.
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THE FOX & THE HORSEA peasant had a faithful horse which had grown old and could do no more work, so his master no longer wanted to give him anything to eat and said, "I can certainly make no more use of you, but still I mean well by you, and if you prove yourself still strong enough to bring me a lion here, I will maintain you. But for now get out of my stable." And with that he chased him into the open field.
The horse was sad, and went to the forest to seek a little protection there from the weather. There the fox met him and said, "Why do you hang your head so, and go about all alone?"
"Alas," replied the horse, "greed and loyalty do not dwell together in one house. My master has forgotten what services I have performed for him for so many years, and because I can no longer plow well, he will give me no more food, and has driven me out."
"Without giving you a chance?" asked the fox.
"The chance was a bad one. He said, if I were still strong enough to bring him a lion, he would keep me, but he well knows that I cannot do that."
The fox said, "I will help you. Just lie down, stretch out as if you were dead, and do not stir."
The horse did what the fox asked, and then the fox went to the lion, who had his den not far off, and said, "A dead horse is lying out there. Just come with me, and you can have a rich meal."
The lion went with him, and when they were both standing by the horse the fox said, "After all, it is not very comfortable for you here -- I tell you what -- I will fasten it to you by the tail, and then you can drag it into your cave and eat it in peace."
This advice pleased the lion. He positioned himself, and in order that the fox might tie the horse fast to him, he kept completely quiet. But the fox tied the lion's legs together with the horse's tail, and twisted and fastened everything so well and so strongly that no amount of strength could pull it loose. When he had finished his work, he tapped the horse on the shoulder and said, "Pull, white horse, pull!"
Then up sprang the horse at once, and pulled the lion away with him. The lion began to roar so that all the birds in the forest flew up in terror, but the horse let him roar, and drew him and dragged him across the field to his master's door. When the master saw the lion, he was of a better mind, and said to the horse, "You shall stay with me and fare well." And he gave him plenty to eat until he died.
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KNOIST & HIS THREE SONSBetween Werl and Soest there lived a man whose name was Knoist, and he had three sons. One was blind, the other lame, and the third stark naked. Once they were walking across a field, where they saw a hare. The blind one shot it, the lame one caught it, and the naked one put it in his pocket. Then they came to a temendously large body of water, on which there were three ships. One leaked, one sank, the third had no bottom in it. All three got into the one with no bottom. Then they came to a temendously large forest in which there was a temendously large tree. In the tree was a temendously large chapel. In the chapel was a sexton of hornbeam wood and a parson of boxwood, who were passing out holy water with cudgels.
Blessed is he
Who from this holy water can flee.
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GOING TRAVELING
Once upon a time there was a poor woman who had a son who wanted very much to travel. His mother said, "How can you travel? We have no money at all for you to take with you."
Then the son said, "I will take care of myself. I will always say, 'Not much, not much, not much.'"
So he walked for a long time, always saying, "Not much, not much, not much."
Then he came to a group of fishermen, and said, "God be with you. Not much, not much, not much."
"What do you say, fellow? Not much?"
And when they pulled up their net, they had not caught many fish. So one of them fell on the boy with a stick, saying, "Have you ever seen me thrash?"
"What should I say, then?" asked the boy.
"You should say, "Catch a lot. Catch a lot."
Then he again walked a long time, saying, "Catch a lot. Catch a lot," until he came to a gallows, where they were about to hang a poor sinner. Then said he, "Good morning. Catch a lot. Catch a lot."
"What do you say, fellow? Catch a lot? Should there be even more wicked people in the world? Isn't this enough?" And he again got it on his back.
"What should I say, then?" he asked.
"You should say, "May God comfort the poor soul."
Again the boy walked on for a long while, saying, "May God comfort the poor soul." Then he came to a ditch where a knacker was skinning a horse. The boy said, "Good morning. May God comfort the poor soul."
"What do you say, you disgusting fellow?" said the knacker, hitting him about the ears with his skinning hook until he could not see out of his eyes.
"What should I say, then?"
"You should say, 'Lie in the ditch, you carcass.'"
So he walked on, saying, "Lie in the ditch, you carcass. Lie in the ditch, you carcass." He came to a coach filled with people, and said, "Lie in the ditch, you carcass."
Then the coach tipped over into the ditch, and the driver took his whip and beat the boy until he had to crawl back to his mother, and as long as he lived he never went traveling again.
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THE UNGRATEFUL SONA man and his wife were once sitting by the door of their house, and they had a roasted chicken before them, and were about to eat it together. Then the man saw that his aged father was coming, and hastily took the chicken and hid it, for he did not want him to have any of it. The old man came, took a drink, and went away. Now the son wanted to put the roasted chicken on the table again, but when he reached for it, it had turned into a large toad, which jumped into his face and sat there and never went away again. And if anyone wanted to take it off, it looked venomously at him as if it would jump in his face, so that no one dared to touch it. And the ungrateful son was forced to feed the toad every day, or else it fed itself on his face. And thus he went to and fro in the world without rest.
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THE LITTLE OLD MAN MADE YOUNG BY FIREAt the time when our Lord still walked on earth, he and Saint Peter stopped one evening at a smith's and were gladly given lodging. Now it happened that a poor beggar, hard pressed by age and infirmity, came to this house and begged alms of the smith.
Peter had compassion and said, "Lord and master, if it please you, cure his ailments, that he may earn his own bread."
The Lord said gently, "Smith, lend me your forge and put some coals on for me, and then I will make this sick old man young again."
The smith was quite willing. Saint Peter pumped the bellows, and when the coal fire sparkled up large and high, our Lord took the little old man, pushed him into the forge in the middle of the red fire, so that he glowed like a rosebush, and praised God with a loud voice.
After that the Lord went to the quenching-tub, put the glowing little man into it so that the water closed over him, and after he had carefully cooled him, he gave him his blessing, when, behold, the little man sprang nimbly out, looking fresh, upright, healthy, and as if he were twenty years old.
The smith, who had watched everything closely and attentively, invited them all to supper. Now he had an old half-blind, hunchbacked mother-in-law. She went to the youth and asked earnestly if the fire had burned him much.
He answered that he had never felt better, and that he had sat in the glowing coals as if he had been in cool dew.
The youth's words echoed in the the old woman's ears all night long, and early the next morning, after the Lord had gone on his way again and had heartily thanked the smith, the latter thought he might make his old mother-in-law young again in the same way, for he had watched everything very carefully, and it used the skills of his trade. Therefore he called to her, asking her if she, too, would like to go prancing about like an eighteen-year-old girl.
Because the youth had come out of it so well, she said, "With all my heart."
So the smith made a large fire, and pushed the old woman into it. She twisted about this way and that, uttering horrible cries of murder.
"Sit still. Why are you screaming and jumping about so? I still have to blow the fire hotter," he cried, then pumped the bellows again, until all her rags were all afire.
The old woman cried without ceasing, and the smith thought to himself, "It's not going exactly right." Then he took her out and threw her into the quenching-tub. She screamed so loudly that the smith's wife upstairs and her daughter-in-law heard it, and they both ran downstairs, and saw the old woman lying in a heap in the tub, howling and screaming, with her face wrinkled and shriveled and all out of shape.
The two, who were both with child, were so terrified with this that that very night they gave birth to two boys who were not shaped like humans but like apes. They ran into the woods, and from them came the race of apes.
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THE ROOSTER BEAMThere was once a magician who was standing in the midst of a great crowd of people performing his wonders. He had a rooster brought in, which lifted a heavy beam and carried it as if it were as light as a feather. But a girl was present who had just found a four-leaf clover, and had thus become so wise that she could see through every deception, and she saw that the beam was nothing but a straw. So she called out, "You people, do you not see that it is a straw that the rooster is carrying, and not a beam?"
The magic vanished immediately, and the people saw what it was, and drove the sorcerer away in shame and disgrace.
He, however, full of inward anger, said, "I will avenge myself."
Some time later the girl's wedding day arrived. She was all decked out, and went in a great procession across a field to the place where the church was. Suddenly they came to a swollen brook, and there was neither a bridge nor a walkway to cross it. So the bride nimbly lifted up her clothes, and was about to wade through it. She had just stepped into the water when a man near her, and it was the magician, called out mockingly "Aha! What kind of eyes do you have that think they see water?"
Then her eyes were opened, and she saw that she was standing with her clothes lifted up in the middle of a field that was blue with flax blossoms. Then all the people saw it too, and they chased her away with ridicule and laughter.
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THE OLD BEGGAR WOMANThere was once an old woman, but you have surely seen an old woman going begging before now. This woman begged likewise, and when she received anything she said, "May God reward you."
The beggar woman came up to the door, and there by the fire stood a friendly rogue of a boy warming himself. The boy spoke kindly to the poor old woman as she was standing there by the door shivering, "Come, old mother, and warm yourself."
She came in, but stood too close to the fire, so that her old rags began to burn, and she was not aware of it. The boy stood there and saw that. Should he not have put the flames out? Is it not true that he should have put them out? And if he did not have any water, then he should have wept all the water in his body out of his eyes, and that would have supplied two good streams with which to put them out.
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THE THREE LAZY ONESA king had three sons whom he loved equally well, and he did not know which of them to appoint as king following his own death.
When the time came for him to die he called them to his bed and said, "Dear children, I have thought of something that I will reveal to you. The one of you is the laziest shall become king after me."
The oldest one said, "Father, then the kingdom belongs to me, for I am so lazy that whenever I lie down to sleep, and a drop falls into my eyes, I will not even close them so that I can fall asleep."
The second one said, "Father, the kingdom belongs to me, for I am so lazy that when I am sitting by the fire warming myself, I would rather let my heels burn up than to pull my legs back."
The third one said, "Father, the kingdom is mine, for I am so lazy that if I were going to be hanged and already had the rope around my neck, and someone put into my hand a sharp knife with which to cut the rope, I would let myself be hanged rather than to lift my hand up to the rope."
When the father heard this he said, "You have taken it the farthest and shall be king."
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THE STAR TALERSOnce upon a time there was a little girl whose father and mother had died, and she was so poor that she no longer had a room to live in, nor a bed to sleep in, and at last she had nothing else but the clothes she was wearing and a little piece of bread in her hand that some charitable soul had given her. She was good and pious, however. And as she was thus forsaken by all the world, she went forth into the country, trusting in dear God.
Then a poor man met her, who said, "Ah, give me something to eat, I am so hungry."
She handed him her entire piece of bread, saying, "May God bless it for you," and went on her way.
Then came a child who moaned and said, "My head is so cold. Give me something to cover it with." So she took off her cap and gave it to the child. And when she had walked a little farther, she met another child who had no jacket and was freezing. So she gave her jacket to that child, and a little farther on one begged for a dress, and she gave her dress away as well. At length she made her way into a forest and it was already dark. Then there came yet another child, and asked for a shift, and the pious girl thought to herself, "It is a dark night and no one can see you. You can very well give your shift away," and she took it off, and gave it away as well.
And thus she stood there, with nothing left at all, when suddenly some stars fell down from heaven, and they were nothing else but hard shining talers, and although she had just given her shift away, she was now wearing a new one which was of the very finest linen. Then she gathered together the money into it, and was rich all the days of her life.
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THE STOLEN FARTHINGOnce a father was seated at the dinner table with his wife and children. A good friend who had come to visit was eating with them. While they were sitting there the clock struck twelve, and the stranger saw the door open and a very pale little child dressed in snow-white clothes come in. It neither looked around, nor did it speak, but went straight into the next room. Soon afterwards it came back, and just as silently went out the door again.
On the second and on the third day it came back in exactly the same manner. Then the stranger finally asked the father, whose beautiful child it was that went into the next room every day at noon.
"I did not see it," he said, adding that he did he know whose child it might be.
The next day when it again came, the stranger pointed it out to the father, but the latter did not see it, nor did the mother and the children see anything. Then the stranger got up, went to the door of the room, opened it a little, and looked in. There he saw the child sitting on the floor, and busily digging and rooting about in the cracks in the floor. When it saw the stranger, it disappeared.
He now told what he had seen and described the child exactly. Then the mother recognized it, and said, "Oh, it is my dear child who died four weeks ago."
They ripped up the floor and found two farthings which the child had once received from its mother to give to a poor man. It, however, had thought, "With that money you can buy yourself a piece of zwieback," and had kept the farthings, hiding them in the cracks in the floor.
Therefore it had had no rest in its grave, and had come every day at noon to look for these farthings. Then the parents gave the money to a poor man, and after that the child was never seen again.
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CHOOSING A BRIDEThere was a young herdsman who wanted very much to marry, and was acquainted with three sisters. Each one was just as beautiful as the other, so it was difficult for him to make a choice, and he could not decide to give the preference to any one of them. Then he asked his mother for advice, and she said, "Invite all three, and set some cheese before them, and watch how they cut off a slice."
The youth did so. The first one ate the cheese with the rind on. The second one hastily cut the rind off the cheese, but she cut it so quickly that she left much good cheese with it, and threw that away also. The third peeled the rind off carefully, and cut neither too much nor too little. The shepherd told all this to his mother, who said, "Take the third for your wife."
This he did, and lived contentedly and happily with her.
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THE HURDSOnce upon a time there was a girl who was beautiful, but lazy and negligent. When she had to spin she was so ill tempered that if there was a little knot in the flax, she at once pulled out a whole heap of it, and scattered it about on the ground beside her. Now she had a servant who was industrious, and who gathered together the discarded flax, cleaned it, spun it well, and had a beautiful dress woven out of it for herself.
A young man had courted the lazy girl, and the wedding was about to take place. On the eve of the wedding, the industrious girl was dancing merrily about in her beautiful dress, and the bride said,
Ach, wat kann das Mäken springen
in minen Slickerlingen! Ah, how that girl can jump about,
in my hurds!
The bridegroom heard this, and asked the bride what she meant by it. So she told him that the girl was wearing a dress made from the flax which she had thrown away. When the bridegroom heard this, and saw how lazy she was, and how industrious the poor girl was, he gave her up and went to the other girl, and chose her as his wife.
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A RIDDLING TALEThree women were transformed into flowers which stood in a field. However, one of them was allowed to be in her own house at night. One time when day was approaching, and she would have to go back to her companions in the field and become a flower again, she said to her husband, "If you will come this morning and pick me, I shall be set free and stay with you from then on."
And that is what happened.
Now the question is, how did her husband recognize her, for the flowers were exactly alike, and without any difference?
Answer: While she was in her house during the night and not in the field, the dew did not fall on her as it did on the other two, and by this her husband recognized her.
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THE CLEVER SERVANTHow fortunate is the master and how well it goes within his household when he has a clever servant who, to be sure, hears his orders, but does not obey them, preferring instead to follow his own wisdom.
A clever Hans of this kind was once sent out by his master to look for a lost cow. He stayed away a long time, and the master thought, "My faithful Hans is not sparing any pains with his work."
But when he did not return at all, the master was afraid that something had happened to him, and he himself went out to look for him.
He had to look for a long time, but at last he caught sight of his servant running up and down a large field.
"Now, dear Hans," said the master after catching up with him, "did you find the cow that I sent you after?"
"No, master," he answered, "I did not find the cow, but then I have not been looking for it either."
"Then what have you been looking for, Hans?"
"Something better. And fortunately I have found it."
"What is it?"
"Three blackbirds," answered the servant.
"And where are they?" asked the master.
"I see one of them, I hear the other, and I am chasing after the third," answered the clever servant.
Take an example from this. Do not trouble yourselves about your masters or their orders. Instead, just do what comes to you and makes you happy, and then you will act just as wisely as did clever Hans.
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LEAN LISALean Lisa was not at all like Lazy Heinz and Fat Trina, who would not allow anything to disturb their rest. She burned herself out from morning until evening and loaded so much work on her husband, Lanky Lenz, that it was harder for him than for a donkey loaded with three sacks. But it was all for naught. They had nothing, and they got nothing.
One evening she was lying in bed, too tired to move a muscle but still unable to fall asleep, when she poked her husband in the side with her elbow and said, "Lenz, listen to what I just thought of. If I were to find a florin, and you were to give me another one, then I'd borrow yet another one, and you'd give me still another one, and then I would take the four florins and buy a young cow."
The man agreed. "I don't know," he said, "where I'm to get that florin I'm supposed to give you, but after you have the money to buy a cow, it will be a good thing." Then he added, "I'm looking forward to the time after the cow calves, so I can have some good refreshing milk to drink."
"The milk is not for you," said the woman. "We will let the calf suck, so it will grow large and fat, and we can sell it for a good price."
"Of course," said the man, "but it won't hurt anything if we take a little milk."
"Who taught you about cows?" said the woman. "I won't allow it, whether it will hurt anything or not. You can stand on your head, but you won't get a single drop of milk. Lanky Lenz, just because you are always hungry, you think that you can devour everything that my hard work brings in."
"Woman," said the man, "be quiet, or I'll plant one on the side of your face."
"What!" she cried. "Are you threatening me! You glutton! You good-for-nothing! You lazybones!"
She was reaching for his hair, but Lanky Lenz raised himself up, took hold of both her skinny arms with one hand, then pushed her head into the pillow with the other one. He held her there and let her scold until she fell asleep from exhaustion.
The next morning when she woke up, I do not know whether she continued to quarrel, or whether she went out to look for the florin that she wanted to find.
--:--
THE DURATION OF LIFEWhen God created the world and was about to determine the duration of life for all the creatures, the donkey came and asked, "Lord, how long am I to live?"
"Thirty years," answered God. "Is that all right with you?"
"Oh, Lord," replied the donkey, "that is a long time. Think of my tiresome existence carrying heavy loads from morning until night, dragging bags of grain to the mill so that others might eat bread, only to be cheered along and refreshed with kicks and blows! Spare me part of this long time."
So God had mercy and gave him eighteen years. The donkey went away satisfied, and the dog made his appearance.
"How long do you want to live?" said God to him. "Thirty years was too much for the donkey, but you will be satisfied with that long."
"Lord," answered the dog. "Is that your will? Just think how much I have to run. My feet will not hold out so long. And what can I do but growl and run from one corner to another after I have lost my voice for barking and my teeth for biting?"
God saw that he was right, and he took away twelve years. Then came the monkey.
"Surely you would like to live thirty years," said the Lord to him. "You do not need to work like the donkey and the dog, and are always having fun."
"Oh, Lord," he answered, "so it appears, but it is different. When it rains porridge, I don't have a spoon. I am always supposed to be playing funny tricks and making faces so people will laugh, but when they give me an apple and I bite into it, it is always sour. How often is sorrow hidden behind a joke. I cannot put up with all that for thirty years!"
God had mercy and gave him ten years. Finally man made his appearance. Cheerful, healthy, and refreshed, he asked God to determine the duration of his life.
"You shall live thirty years," spoke the Lord. "Is that enough for you?"
"What a short time!" cried the man. "When I have built a house and a fire is burning on my own hearth, when I have planted trees that blossom and bear fruit, and am just beginning to enjoy life, then I am to die. Oh, Lord, extend my time."
"I will add the donkey's eighteen years," said God.
"That is not enough," replied the man.
"You shall also have the dog's twelve years."
"Still too little."
"Well, then," said God, "I will give you the monkey's ten years as well, but you shall receive no more."
The man went away, but he was not satisfied.
Thus man lives seventy years. The first thirty are his human years, and they quickly disappear. Here he is healthy and happy; he works with pleasure, and enjoys his existence. The donkey's eighteen years follow. Here one burden after the other is laid on him; he carries the grain that feeds others, and his faithful service is rewarded with kicks and blows. Then come the dog's twelve years, and he lies in the corner growling, no longer having teeth with which to bite. And when this time is past, the monkey's ten years conclude. Now man is weak headed and foolish; he does silly things and becomes a laughingstock for children.
--:--
DEATH’S MESSENGERSIn ancient times a giant was wandering along the highway when suddenly a stranger jumped toward him and shouted, "Stop! Not one step further!"
"What?" said the giant. "You, a creature that I could crush between my fingers, you want to block my way? Who are you that you dare to speak so boldly?"
"I am Death," answered the other one. "No one resists me, and you too must obey my orders."
But the giant refused, and began to wrestle with Death. It was a long, violent battle, and finally the giant got the upper hand, and knocked Death down with his fist, causing him to collapse by a stone. The giant went on his way, and Death lay there conquered, so weak that he could not get up again.
"What is to come of this?" he said. "If I stay lying here in a corner, no one will die in the world, and it will become so filled with people that they won't have room to stand beside one another."
Meanwhile a young man came down the road. Vigorous and healthy, he was singing a song and looking this way and that. Seeing the half-conscious individual, he approached him with compassion, raised him up, gave him a refreshing drink from his flask, and waited until he regained his strength.
"Do you know," asked the stranger, as he stood up, "who I am, and whom you have helped onto his legs again?"
"No," answered the youth, "I do not know you."
"I am Death," he said. "I spare no one, nor can make an exception with you. However, so you may see that I am grateful, I promise you that I will not attack you without warning, but instead will send my messengers to you before I come and take you away."
"Good," said the youth. "It is to my benefit that I shall know when you are coming, and that I will be safe from you until then."
Then he went on his way, and was cheerful and carefree, and lived one day at a time. However, youth and good health did not last long. Soon came sickness and pain, which tormented him by day and deprived him of his rest by night.
"I shall not die," he said to himself, "for Death will first send his messengers, but I do wish that these wicked days of sickness were over."
Regaining his health, he began once more to live cheerfully. Then one day someone tapped on his shoulder.
He looked around, and death was standing behind him, who said, "Follow me. The hour of your departure from this world has come."
"What?" replied the man. "Are you breaking your word? Did you not promise me that you would send your messengers to me before you yourself would come? I have not seen a one of them."
"Be still!" answered Death. "Have I not sent you one messenger after another? Did not fever come and strike you, and shake you, and throw you down? Has not dizziness numbed your head? Has not gout pinched your limbs? Did your ears not buzz? Did toothache not bite into your cheeks? Did your eyes not darken? And furthermore, has not my own brother Sleep reminded you every night of me? During the night did you not lie there as if you were already dead?"
The man did not know how to answer, so he surrendered to his fate and went away with Death.
--:--
EVE'S UNEQUAL CHILDRENWhen Adam and Eve were driven from paradise, they were forced to build a house for themselves on barren ground, and eat their bread by the sweat of their brow. Adam hoed the field, and Eve spun the wool. Every year Eve brought a child into the world, but the children were unlike each other. Some were good looking, and some ugly.
After a considerable time had gone by, God sent an angel to them to announce that he himself was coming to inspect their household. Eve, delighted that the Lord should be so gracious, cleaned her house diligently, decorated it with flowers, and spread rushes on the floor. Then she brought in her children, but only the good-looking ones. She washed and bathed them, combed their hair, put freshly laundered shirts on them, and cautioned them to be polite and well-behaved in the presence of the Lord. They were to bow down before him courteously, offer to shake hands, and to answer his questions modestly and intelligently.
The ugly children, however, were not to let themselves be seen. She hid one of them beneath the hay, another in the attic, the third in the straw, the fourth in the stove, the fifth in the cellar, the sixth under a tub, the seventh beneath the wine barrel, the eighth under an old pelt, the ninth and tenth beneath the cloth from which she made their clothes, and the eleventh and twelfth under the leather from which she cut their shoes.
She had just finished when someone knocked at the front door. Adam looked through a crack, and saw that it was the Lord. He opened the door reverently, and the Heavenly Father entered. There stood the good-looking children all in a row. They bowed before him, offered to shake hands, and knelt down.
The Lord began to bless them. He laid his hands on the first, saying, "You shall be a powerful king," did the same thing to the second, saying, "You a prince," to the third, "You a count," to the fourth, "You a knight," to the fifth, "You a nobleman," to the sixth, "You a burgher," to the seventh, "You a merchant," to the eighth, "You a scholar." Thus he bestowed his richest blessings upon them all.
When Eve saw that the Lord was so mild and gracious, she thought, "I will bring forth my ugly children as well. Perhaps he will bestow his blessings on them too." So she ran and fetched them from the hay, the straw, the stove, and wherever else they were hidden away. In they came, the whole coarse, dirty, scabby, sooty lot of them.
The Lord smiled, looked at them all, and said, "I will bless these as well."
He laid his hands on the first and said to him, "You shall be a peasant," to the second, "You a fisherman," to the third, "You a smith," to the fourth, "You a tanner," to the fifth, "You a weaver," to the sixth, "You a shoemaker," to the seventh, "You a tailor," to the eighth, "You a potter," to the ninth, "You a teamster," to the tenth, "You a sailor," to the eleventh, "You a messenger," to the twelfth, "You a household servant, all the days of your life."
When Eve had heard all this she said, "Lord, how unequally you divide your blessings. All of them are my children, whom I have brought into the world. You should favor them all equally."
But God replied, "Eve, you do not understand. It is right and necessary that the entire world should be served by your children. If they were all princes and lords, who would plant grain, thresh it, grind and bake it? Who would forge iron, weave cloth, build houses, plant crops, dig ditches, and cut out and sew clothing? Each shall stay in his own place, so that one shall support the other, and all shall be fed like the parts of a body."
Then Eve answered, "Oh, Lord, forgive me, I spoke too quickly to you. Let your divine will be done with my children as well."
--:--
CLEVER GRETELThere was a cook whose name was Gretel. She wore shoes with red heels, and whenever she went out wearing them she would turn this way and that way, and she was very cheerful, thinking, "You are a beautiful girl!"
Then after returning home, because she was so happy, she would drink a swallow of wine, and the wine would give her an appetite, so she would taste the best of what she had cooked, until she was quite full, and then she would say, "The cook has to know how the food tastes."
One day her master said to her, "Gretel, this evening a guest is coming. Prepare two chickens for me, the best way that you can."
"Yes indeed, sir," answered Gretel. She killed the chickens, scalded them, plucked them, stuck them on the spit, and then, as evening approached, put them over the fire to roast. The chickens began to brown, and were nearly done, but the guest had not yet arrived.
Gretel called to her master, "If the guest doesn't come, I'll have to take the chickens from the fire. And it will be a crying shame if they're not eaten soon, because they're at their juicy best right now."
The master answered, "You're right. I'll run and fetch the guest myself."
As soon as the master had turned his back, Gretel set the spit and the chickens aside and thought, "Standing here by the fire has made me sweaty and thirsty. Who knows when they will be back? Meanwhile I'll just run down into the cellar and take a swallow."
So she ran down, lifted a jug to her lips, saying, "God bless it for you, Gretel!" and took a healthy drink. "Wine belongs together," she said further.
"It's not good to keep it apart," and took another healthy drink.
Then she went and placed the chickens over the fire again, basted them with butter, and cheerfully turned the spit. Because the roasting chickens smelled so good, she thought, "They could be lacking something. I'd better taste them!" She tested them with her fingers, and said, "My, these chickens are good! It's a sin and a shame that they won't be eaten at once!"
She ran to the window to see if her master and his guest were arriving, but she saw no one. Returning to the chickens, she said, "That one wing is burning. I'd better just eat it." So she cut it off and ate it, and it tasted very good. When she had finished it, she thought, "I'd better eat the other one too, or the master will see that something is missing."
When both wings had been eaten, she once again looked for her master, but could not see him. Then it occurred to her, "Who knows? Perhaps they've gone somewhere else to eat and aren't coming here at all." Then she said, "Well, Gretel, be of good cheer! The one has already been cut into. Have another drink and eat the rest of it. When it's gone, you can relax. Why should this good gift of God go to waste?"
So she ran to the cellar once again, downed a noble drink, and cheerfully finished off the first chicken. When the one chicken was gone, and her master still had not yet returned, she looked at the other chicken and said, "Where the one is, the other should follow. The two belong together. What is right for the one, can't be wrong for the other. I believe that if I have another drink, it will do me no harm." So she took another hearty drink, and sent the second chicken running after the first one.
Just as she was making the most of it, her master returned, calling out, "Gretel, hurry up, the guest is right behind me."
"Yes, sir, I'm getting it ready," answered Gretel.
Meanwhile the master saw that the table was set, and he picked up the large knife that he wanted to carve the chickens with, and stood in the hallway sharpening it.
The guest arrived and knocked politely on the door. Gretel ran to see who it was, and when she saw that it was the guest, she held a finger before her mouth, and said, "Be quiet! Be quiet! Hurry and get away from here. If my master catches you, you'll be sorry. Yes, he invited you for an evening meal, but all he really wants is to cut off both of your ears. Listen, he's sharpening his knife for it right now."
The guest heard the whetting and ran back down the steps as fast as he could.
Then Gretel, who was not a bit lazy, ran to her master, crying, "Just what kind of a guest did you invite?"
"Why, Gretel? What do you mean by that?"
"Well," she said, "he took both of the chickens off the platter, just as I was about to carry them out, and then ran away with them."
"Now that's a fine tune!" said the master, feeling sorry about the loss of the good chickens. "At the least, he could have left one of them, so I would have something to eat."
He called out to him to stop, but the guest pretended not to hear. Then he ran after him, the knife still in his hand, shouting, "Just one! Just one!"
But the guest could only think that he wanted him to give up one of his ears, so he ran as though there were a fire burning beneath him, in order to get home with both ears.
--:--
OLD SULTANA farmer had a faithful dog named Sultan, who had grown old and lost all his teeth, and could no longer hold onto anything. One day the farmer was standing with his wife before the house door, and said, "Tomorrow I intend to shoot Old Sultan. He is no longer of any use."
His wife, who felt pity for the faithful animal, answered, "He has served us so long, and been so faithful, that we might well give him his keep."
"What?" said the man. "You are not very bright. He doesn't have a tooth left in his mouth, and no thief is afraid of him. He can go now. If he has served us, he has eaten well for it."
The poor dog, who was lying stretched out in the sun not far off, heard everything, and was sorry that tomorrow was to be his last day. He had a good friend, the wolf, and he crept out in the evening into the forest to him, and complained of the fate that awaited him.
"Listen, kinsman," said the wolf, "be of good cheer. I will help you out of your trouble. I have thought of something. Tomorrow, early in the morning, your master is going with his wife to make hay, and they will take their little child with them, for no one will be left behind in the house. While they are at work they lay the child behind the hedge in the shade. You lie down there too, just as if you wanted to guard it. Then I will come out of the woods, and carry off the child. You must run swiftly after me, as if you would take it away from me. I will let it fall, and you will take it back to its parents, who will think that you have rescued it, and will be far too grateful to do you any harm. On the contrary, you will be treated royally, and they will never let you want for anything again."
This idea pleased the dog, and it was carried out just as planned. The father screamed when he saw the wolf running across the field with his child, but when Old Sultan brought it back, he was full of joy, and stroked him and said, "Not a hair of yours shall be hurt. You shall eat free bread as long as you live."
And to his wife he said, "Go home at once and make Old Sultan some bread soup that he will not have to bite. And bring the pillow from my bed. I will give it to him to lie on. From then on Old Sultan was as well off as he could possibly wish.
Soon afterwards the wolf visited him, and was pleased that everything had succeeded so well. "But, kinsman," he said, "you will just close one eye if, when I have a chance, I carry off one of your master's fat sheep."
"Don't count on that," answered the dog. "I will remain true to my master. I cannot agree to that."
The wolf thought that this was not spoken in earnest, and he crept up in the night to take away the sheep. But the farmer, to whom the faithful Sultan had told the wolf's plan, was waiting for him and combed his hair cruelly with a flail. The wolf had to flee, but he cried out to the dog, "Just wait, you scoundrel. You'll regret this."
The next morning the wolf sent the boar to challenge the dog to come out into the forest and settle the affair. Old Sultan could find no one to be his second but a cat with only three legs, and as they went out together the poor cat limped along, stretching its tail upward with pain.
The wolf and his friend were already at the appointed place, but when they saw their enemy coming, they thought that he was bringing a saber with him, for they mistook the cat's outstretched tail for one. And when the poor animal hopped on three legs, they thought that each time it was picking up a stone to throw at them. Then they took fright. The wild boar crept into the underbrush and the wolf jumped up a tree.
As the dog and the cat approached, they wondered why no one was to be seen. The wild boar, however, had not been able to hide himself completely in the leaves. His ears were still sticking out. While the cat was looking cautiously about, the boar wiggled his ears, and the cat, who thought it was a mouse, jumped on it and bit down hard. The boar jumped up screaming loudly, "The guilty one is up in the tree."
The dog and cat looked up and saw the wolf, who was ashamed for having shown such fear, and who then made peace with the dog.
Bros Grimm Tales: Sweetheart Roland

Once upon a time there was a woman who was truly a witch. She had two daughters, one ugly and wicked, whom she loved because she was her own daughter, and one beautiful and good, whom she hated, because she was her stepdaughter. The stepdaughter had a beautiful apron, which the other girl wanted so much that she became envious, and she told her mother that she just had to have that apron.
"Be still, my child," said the old woman, "and you shall have it. Your stepsister has long deserved to die, and tonight when she is asleep I will come and chop off her head. Just be sure to lie down at the far side of the bed, and push her close to the front."
It would have been all over with the poor girl, but just then she was standing in a corner, and she overheard everything. She was not allowed to go outside all day long, and at bedtime her wicked stepsister had her get into bed first, so she would be lying next to the wall. However, after the witch's daughter fell asleep, the stepdaughter gently pushed her to the front side of the bed, and she took her place back against the wall.
In the night the old woman crept into the bedroom holding an ax in her right hand while feeling with her left hand for anyone lying at the front of the bed. Then she grasped the axe with both hands and chopped off her own child's head.
After the witch had gone away, the girl got up and went to her sweetheart, whose name was Roland, and knocked at his door. When he came out, she said to him, "Listen, dearest Roland, we must flee at once. My stepmother tried to kill me, but she killed her own child instead. When daylight comes, and she sees what she has done, we'll be lost."
"You had better take her magic wand," said Roland, "or we will not be able to escape if she comes after us."
The girl got the magic wand, then she took the dead girl's head and dropped three drops of blood onto the floor, one in front of the bed, one in the kitchen, and one on the steps. Then she hurried away with her sweetheart.
The next morning when the old witch got up, she called her daughter, wanting to give her the apron. But the daughter did not come. So she shouted, "Where are you?"
"Here on the steps. I'm sweeping," answered the first drop of blood.
The old woman went out, but seeing no one on the steps, she shouted again, "Where are you?"
"Here in the kitchen. I'm warming myself," shouted the second drop of blood.
She went into the kitchen, but found no one. So she shouted again, "Where are you?"
"Here in the bed. I'm sleeping," shouted the third drop of blood.
She went into the bedroom and approached the bed. What did she see there? Her own child swimming in blood and whose head she herself had cut off.
The witch flew into a rage, jumped to the window, and as she could see far into the world, she saw her stepdaughter hurrying away with her sweetheart Roland. "That won't help you, she shouted. "Even if you've already gone a long way, you won't escape from me."
She put on her many-league boots, in which she covered an hour's walk with every step, and it was not long before she overtook them. However, when the girl saw the old woman striding toward them, she used the magic wand to transform her sweetheart Roland into a lake, and herself into a duck swimming in the middle of the lake.
The witch stood on the shore and threw in pieces of bread, trying with great effort to lure the duck to her. But the duck did not give in, and the old woman had to return home that night without success. Afterward the girl and her sweetheart Roland returned to their natural shapes, and they walked on through the whole night until daybreak. Then the girl transformed herself into a beautiful flower in the middle of a briar hedge, and her sweetheart Roland into a fiddler.
It was not long before the witch came striding up toward them. She said to the musician, "Dear musician, may I pick that beautiful flower for myself?"
"Oh, yes," he replied. "And I will play for you while you're doing it."
She crawled hastily into the hedge and was just about to pick the flower, knowing perfectly well who it was, when he began to play. She was forced to dance, whether she wanted to or not, for it was magic dance music. The faster he played, the more violently she was forced to jump. The thorns tore the clothes off her body, pricking her until she bled, and as he did not stop, she had to dance until she fell down dead.
They were now free, so Roland said, "Now I will go to my father and arrange for our wedding."
"I'll stay here and wait for you," said the girl. "And I'll transform myself into a red boundary stone, so that no one will recognize me."
So Roland set forth, and the girl, in the shape of a red boundary stone, stood there and waited for her sweetheart. But when Roland arrived home, he was snared by another woman, who caused him to forget the girl. The poor girl waited there a long time, but finally, when he failed to return, she grew sad and transformed herself into a flower, thinking, "Someone will surely come this way and trample me down."
However, it happened that a shepherd who was herding his sheep in the field saw the flower. As it was so beautiful, he picked it, took it home with him, and put it away in his chest. From that time forth, strange things happened in the shepherd's house. When he arose in the morning all the work was already done. The room was swept, the table and benches cleaned, the fire on the hearth was lighted, and the water was fetched, and at noon, when he came home, the table was already set, and a good dinner served. He didn't know how this happened, for he never saw anyone in his house, and no one could have hidden himself in it.
He was, of course, pleased with this good service, but with time he became so afraid that he went to a wise woman and asked for her advice.
The wise woman said, "There is magic behind it. Be on the watch very early some morning, and if anything is moving in the room, if you see anything, no matter what it is, throw a white cloth over it, and then the magic will be stopped."
The shepherd did what she told him to do, and the next morning just at dawn, he saw the chest open and the flower come out. He quickly jumped towards it and threw a white cloth over it. Instantly the transformation came to an end, and a beautiful girl stood before him, who admitted to him that she had been the flower, and that she had been doing his housekeeping. She told him her story. He liked her and asked her to marry him, but she answered, "No," for she wanted to remain faithful to her sweetheart Roland, even though he had abandoned her. Nevertheless, she promised not to go away, and to continue keeping house for the shepherd.
The time drew near when Roland was to be married. According to an old custom in that country, it was announced that all the girls were to attend the wedding and sing in honor of the bridal pair. When the faithful girl heard this, she grew so sad that she thought her heart would break, and she did not want to go. But the other girls came and took her. When it was her turn to sing, she declined, until at last she was the only one left, and then she could not refuse. But when she began her song, and it reached Roland's ears, he jumped up and shouted, "I know that voice. That is the true bride. I do not want anyone else." Everything he had forgotten, and which had vanished from his mind, had suddenly come home again to his heart.
Thus the faithful girl was married to her sweetheart Roland. Her grief came to an end, and her joy began.
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