Pasta Player: I Just Bought It

I can't take it anymore.

I just bought Star fox 64, And It looked like it was bugged. Textures were screwed up, and I started in the freaking Solar. I thought it was bugged though, and ignored, since I could just relive childhood memory.

Thats when it started.

I was doing the average; going through the level, when I saw something that totally got my attention.
There was andross in the left corner of my TV, doing the boss battle things he usally does. But I was totally screwed up after looking at him; his eyes were FUCKING ALL BLACK, His hands had a bloody texture look.

He started flying around into the center of the TV. I kinda was creeped out, but still surprised. I thought the place I bought it from was having it in good condition. Never buy games from fucking thrift stores now.

I did the average and killed him.

I started out at Venom right after beating him, but it freaking sent me right to Andross..

I could not move Fox, he only hovered. Andross had no hands, so he inhaled me. But when he did, It teleported me to this pitch black room that looked like a Gut or something. I thought "FUCK, Andross doesn't have a body!" When I was sucked in the void, my friend knocked and came in. I bailed out on 1 player and we tried to kill eachother in the VS mode. FUCK, we should have not done it and turned it off. Thats when I got fucking scared. Standing on the ground was a giant Fox Mccloud, Looking like he was fucking dieing. He was bleeding to death, and his guts were spilling out, and his eyes followed Me or my friends closest arwing to him every time we went near it.



To anyone, please tell me, This is in my fucking mind. I can't stand even trying to touch this game. I tried it out and it freaking haunts me to death.

Pasta Player: Irisu Syndrome

One day, watching Azuritereaction's gameplay commentaries, I came across a video of Sweetielise playing a game called Irisu Syndrome. At first, it looked like a girl's game, but Azuritereaction stated that it became more scary with time. I only watched the first couple of minutes, because I didn't want to spoil myself. I downloaded the game, and tried to start playing.
However, the game was in Japanese. I heard of an english patch floating around, so I installed it, then started playing. There were three options: Play, album, and ranking. I checked album. There wasn't much there. I didn't want to check rankings, because I knew it was only just scoreboards. So I went to play.

I clicked on play. It brought me to a puzzle game. I watched a couple videos on how to play, and I sorta got the hang of it right away. You were supposed to make blocks touched the same colored blocks to get points. However, if they didn't touch the right colored blocks, you would lose life.

Soon, I died. A girl faded in and she stared into my eyes. She stared at me with a blank expression on her face. I only got 2,000 points. It cut to a picture of a girl and a boy walking through the woods. Soon, it brought me back to the title screen. I thought I could do better, so I clicked on play again. This time, I got 9,000 points. The picture it brought me to was a girl and a guy eating.

Then, I noticed something. I saw a .jpg in the folder with two scratch marks. I looked at the picture. It was three people, people I had saw earlier. Except, two people were scratched out. I had no time to think about it since right the screen cut to black. Then random letters appeared on the screen, accompanied with static. The letters then appeared to spell out "SHe IS CoMING".

It then cut back to my game. I was shocked out of my mind. I decided to play more. I wanted to get to the ending. I somehow managed to rack up 45,000 points on my last game. I was happy, but instead of the normal girl fading in, she looked like a demon.

I was feeling disturbed right then. I started to notice the images of cats murdering themselves in the background. saw cats falling into pits of spikes, cats in microwaves, cats hanging from the ceiling. I felt nauseous as I moved on.

The game cut to a black screen with only a flashing square in the background. Captions then appeared on the screen telling names of bodies found. Edogawa and Uuji.

It cut to a picture of three people on a beach. Those were the three people I saw earlier. I hesitatingly clicked on the screen to move on. It cut to a picture of a girl taking a look at pictures. Captions moved along the screen, what the girl is saying.

When suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dark figure moving along my screen. It was the demon that faded in when I obtained 45,000 points! I was going completely nuts right now. How was she even on my desktop, totally not in the game!? Scared out of my mind and not knowing what to do, I just watched as the demon Irisu glided across my desktop and into the game. Soon enough, the game cut to black. The captions that moved along the screen were "Irisu Kyoko! W- what's with that new... look?" The screen then cut to the demon with a spiked bat in her hand, ready to strike down on the pink haired girl. The demon version of Irisu struck.

She struck the bat into something off screen. Blood spattered into the air. Disgust rose vomit into my throat as I watched hopelessly as the demon struck with the spiked bat. Soon, the game closed itself. There's no way any of this could've happened. I hoped it was a figment of my imagination.

Every part of me wanted to see what happens next. Being the stupid person I am, I clicked on the Irisu Syndrome icon. Luckily for me, it cut to a birthday party, no menus, just a birthday party. It showed a normal version of the pink haired girl crying in the corner. She got into a conversation with her friends who had came up to her, then it cut back to the title screen.

I didn't want any more of this. I closed the game and decided to uninstall the game, never to see it again. I can't go to sleep now, 'cause whenever I close my eyes to go to sleep, I see that demon. Haunting my thoughts. Never letting me sleep.

Pasta Player: Dream Explorer

I was walking out of school when something caught my eye. A USB drive... I picked it up and it said, "Hello
wink emoticon," on it. Foolishly, I took it home and plugged it into my computer. It held only a game titled "Dream Explorer". I loaded it up. It was a black screen and I thought that it was broken until a loud screech happened and in bold white letters DREAM EXPLORER came up. I recognised the music as the original music from Lavender Town in pokemon. I assumed this was made by a student for a medi studies assignment and I decided to give it 5 minutes and give it to the lost and found tomorrow.

I couldn't walk back to school now. It had a button saying new dream so I pressed enter starting the game. Everything went silent, and then a room faded in. I soon realised the game was similar to the game LSD Dream Emulator in graphics and gameply feel. I went to a door and it opened. I looked around the corner and there was a TV showing a rather amusing stick figure animation. A noise from behind my character made me turn around. i saw nothing. When I looked back towards the TV it was a lamp. I figure it was because with dreams nothing hardly ever stays the exact same. I went into the next room. It was a bathroom. I walked up to the mirror and saw myself in it. I looked up and saw that my webcam was off. I tried closing the game but it didn't work. To make things worse my face started melting off. I checked my real face and thankfully it was still in place.

Thats when I realised behind me in the game was a creature that resembled slenderman. I turned around in real life fast and thankfully saw nothing. Causing my character to do a 360 fixed the issue then my character fell into a room full of mirrors. thats when the game itself closed down. The next day I was holding the USB ready to hand it into the ladies at the office when a kid who appeared to be in grade 12 came up to me and asked where I found this USB. I said it was on the ground. I asked him about the mirrors he said he was planning to implement a webcam mirror feature resembling what I saw but he never even started working on it. Till this day I don't know what the deal with the game was but at least my computer was never effected.

Pasta Player: Conker's Worst Fur Day

Well, I am so scared right now. I just played a fucked up game/ROM called Conker's Worst Fur Day. Anyways, I guess I should tell you my story. When I was younger, I owned a N64, and for my birthday I got a game called Conker's Bad Fur Day.

It was a game meant for adults due to swearing, blood, nudity, sexual references, etc. But my parents just saw the cover and thought oh this looks like a cute game, perfect for our son's birthday!

Anyways I used to love that game (I did NOT tell my parents about it because I knew they would return it.). Anyways, I loved playing through it and I laughed alot. (I would have laughed more if i knew what some of the jokes meant before.) Okay, so earlier today, I was watching a YouTube video about sonic. And I came across a video called eggman is the great mighty poo. I knew I heard that somewhere, then I saw something called Conker's Bad Fur Day: Great Mighty Poo. Okay, so after seeing this I thought "Hey, I remember this game!". Suddenly I felt an extremely big urge to play the game. I had already had an N64 emulator (Project 64).

So I googled Conker rom. Exactly like that. The first few sites I did'nt trust, but then I saw one called Conker's Worst Fur Day Rom, I don't remember the site name, but I clicked it because the urge started growing. It opened a near blank page with just a button in the middle that said "Download: Conker's Worst Fur Day.zip" I clicked it instantly and it downloaded. When it was done I started playing. It did'nt open with the cute jumping N64 logo, and conker cutting it in half with a chainsaw, It started with a grey squirrel (Like the one in the bar on the main menu.) running in a poorly lit room, then a mangled, bloody, wounded Conker appeared behind him and sawed him in half with a chainsaw spilling guts, bones, etc. everywhere. Then Conker looked at the screen with his torn up bloody face, and said "You're in for HELL fucker.".

The strange thing was that in Conker the word Fuck is censored, but in this rom it wasn't. I thought "COOL AN UNCENSORED CONKER GAME!" damn was that a bad idea to keep going with the rom. Anyway the game started with conker entering the bar as usual, but instead of the menu showing up, when conker entered the bar all you could hear was loud, eerie, depressing, realistic, screaming. I instantly turned down the volume. Then out from under the door of the bar blood started seeping through and mixing in the puddles from the rain. Then the screen faded out to black. Then it showed the beggining area where you start the game and you have the hangover. Finally I can play! I thought. That was not a good thing. Anyways I started but there was no cutscene and Conker was fine. I pressed B and Conker swung a chainsaw, then put it away.

Cool, I get a chainsaw instead of a faggy frying pan. Anyways I jumped the fence to speak to birdy. But, when I walked up to him Conker looked at him and said "Hey, shit head. Give me some help." then birdy the scarecrow looked at him and said "Why the fuck do you need anything. You know how to play Raleigh.". WHAT THE FUCK? I thought. I didn't put my name into the game, unless the rom read my user name from the computer, but the way birdy said my name, sounded like the real voice actor. I just took a breath and continued. Then Conker looked at birdy and said "You fucking shit hole. I'll cut your fucking head off." then the game let me play. I pressed B then the game entered a cutscene.

It was very dark for some reason, and the place was only illuminated by constant lightning flashes. Anyhow I just caught a glimpse of Conker killing birdy with his chainsaw. Then he said "Rot in hell fucker.". Then I got to play, but the game was still dark and had lightning. I made my way up the mountain path, but the gargoyle was not there, so I headed in the cave. I was expecting to appear in the bright happy field with the Nast, Nice fork in the road. But instead conker entered the path up to the haunted house. I walked up but I forgot about the skeleton snakes, and got attacked by one, but instead of being chewed up and spit out, it showed the snake put conker on the ground and start mauling him, biting him over and over, revealing his guts, bones, and eyes start spilling out.

Then the skeleton snake let out a demonic cry, then jumped out of the road and dug back into the ground. I was waiting for the game to restart back at the checkpoint, but instead it showed a fucked up hurt, bloody, wounded, conker in a seemingly endless room, filled with zombies (like from the graveyard level.). It showed Conker on the ground, guts, blood, etc. lying all around him. Then it showed his face. I got so shocked from the scene, I turned around and let my stomach settle. Then I looked back at the cut up, bloody, conker face. He was missing his eyes and it showed empty sockets.

Then after he let out a moan he said "You never know... a goo... a good... thing... until... until it... it is... GONE!". When Conker said gone it was so loud and terrifying I shut off the sound. Then I took a piss and came back. The screen showed conker being devoured by endless amounts of zombies. Then when all that was left was the disturbing head of Conker.

The zombies faced the screen and started walking towards it. Then I tried pressing B. When I did a shotgun was pulled out, (the game seemed like a first person shooter, so it was like halo sort of.) I pressed z and it fired a shot holding off the zombies. I remembered that in Conker, zombies must get a head shot to die. So I killed them one by one until there were no more. Suddenly the conker head said in a whisper "Ra...Raleigh..." I ran over, knowing I would have to see the head, but I felt like I had to do it. The screen showed Conker's head lying there, and he said

"Do...Don't be...be...like...me...learn...to..to...love...and...don't...love...money...be...be...kind...promise...me..you...will...do...this."


The game didn't do anything, and by now I had tears running down my face, and a softly said to the screen okay. Then Conker's head let out one last gasp and said "good." then the screen darkened out and the game shut off. Then I gently deleted the rom and turned off my computer. Even now I can still hear his voice, but I know that rom was a message to me. Let it also be a message to you. Okay? Good.

Pasta Player: Condemned 3

A couple days ago, I went to a game shop in Cincinnati which I know sells a lot of pirated movies, games and music. For a fee of about five bucks, you could ask the owner if he could get you a movie, game or CD if they did not have it at the store, and he would go home and download whatever you wanted on a CD and give it to you. Sometimes he would even download game emulators with a game pack for that system which had about 100 to 500 games on it. Anyway, I looked around the large shop for PC games and I happened to stumble upon a shelf with a cardboard sign on it that said "New Releases!" written in black sharpie marker, so I took a look.

I saw some games on the shelf that I have never heard of, as well as some that looked made up, like "Grand Theft Auto 5: Angel Grove: and "Dead Rising: The Lost Files". I kept looking around until something caught my eye; it was Condemned 3: Rise Of The Oro. I looked at the price, and it was 100 freaking dollars! I tried to confront the owner and tell him that the games in the new releases were nothing more than scams, we argued for a little while until he told me that he would let me try out the game for one day for free, and if it was a real game, then I had to buy it. I agreed to the deal and left the store before driving off with the game. I took a closer look at the box art: all it showed was a man running in the distance, probably the main character Ethan Thomas, in a corn field by a farm from the Oro, the main source of the enemies in the games Condemned 1 and 2 (I happen to own both for Xbox 360).

I got back to my house and booted up my PC with Windows 7 and a great graphics and sound card. I opened up the box to take out the disc and noticed that the disc was a blank disk with the words "Condemned 3 Rise Of The Oro" poorly written on the front with red sharpie marker. I chuckled to myself thinking that this had to have been some dumb, pointless joke. So I put the CD in and clicked run, but nothing happened. After clicking run for about 6 times I finally gave up until the game surprisingly started up. All the pop-up box on my PC said was Condemned 3, Play, Load and Options, so I clicked options and the game crashed. The game booted up again and I then found out that even the load button doesn't work, so I could not load if I saved, which I thought was bullcrap. I clicked "Play" and a loading screen came up.

While the game was loading, I picked up the game box and looked on the back, all it said was "You are Ethan Thomas, the Oro has taken over you and your only choice is to kill or be killed, use many different weapons, such as wrench, stick, kitchen knife, shovel, etc. to conquer the Oro in 12 different levels and figure out different crimes leading up to the final conclusion for Ethan." The levels were (In Order), 1. The Woodlands 2. Ghost Town 3. The Church 4. Amusement Park 5. Abandoned Mall 6. Canyon 7. Town Cemetery 8. Office 9. Disease And Virus Research Facility 10. The Casino 11. Abandoned Prison and 12. The Oro's Lair.

After about 3 minutes, the game finally loaded up. It showed the usually FPS view of Ethan Thomas, but with the same hand wrapping as in Condemned 2, so I thought that this game was just a hacked and modded version of Condemned 2: Bloodshot. Anyway, The game began as it is supposed to, in the woodlands. I looked around for a weapon and found a weapon called "Hatchet". It had great attack and could be used a lot without breaking, but could not reach well and took some time to swing. I looked at the supplies that are used for finding evidence and saw a police ultra violet scanner, like in the first two games, an S.C.U cell phone and a camera. I turned on my flashlight and started walking around, then things started to get weird, not like "in the game" weird, but "not right" weird.

I came upon a mother dog lying down and it appeared she was giving birth to a pup. A voice then came up saying in a distorted, staticy voice "KILL!". All of the sudden, a video box popped up showing a real life FPS view of a dog giving birth, then a hand with a hatchet in it swung down decapitating the mother dog. I felt sick to my stomach, then the hands picked up the bloodied puppy and slammed it onto a tree, most likely killing it. I felt extremely uneasy and sick, but I noticed something about the hands in the video; they had the same watch on the same hand as the game shop keeper that I got this game from. I thought to myself, "What kind of sick man would do this?", then the video stopped and it showed the dead animals lying on the ground, bloodied and lifeless. I then continued to walk on, even though I knew I shouldn't, and I came upon an enemy, so I started swinging the axe and another video box popped up. It was a homeless man, frightened about something. The same hands that killed the dog came up with the bloody hatchet and swung, striking the homeless mans head. Blood and gore came out as the poor man fell to the ground, you could hear laughter in the background coming from the man holding the camera.

I then could not take the videos anymore. I puked all over the ground and felt tears coming from my eyes because of the sorrow I felt for the homeless man. I then immediately took the game out of my computer and looked at the clock. It was 9:07 p.m., and I knew that the game shop closes at 11:30 on every night (except Sunday, when it closes at 9:15). I packed up my 9mm pistol in case the man tried to kill me after I confront him about the game. I got in my car and headed off to the store.

When I arrived, I saw three police cars and an ambulance. Apparently, the game shop owner downloaded a song for a gang member and it gave the gang members computer a virus, so the gang member shot the store owner. The police asked me why I was there and I told them about me returning a game. I saw the game store owner on a stretcher, somewhat alive, so I ran over to him and he told me, "Have a nice day." in a creepy, eerie way and started maniacally laughing for a few seconds until he died, so I literally just dropped the game by the store, got in my car and left.

A few days later I was watching the news and I saw that a teen had found a game by a gamestore called "Condemned 3" and had committed suicide right after he posted the game all over different video game ROM sites. Thankfully, the game was then removed. However, some say that it is extremely tough, but you could still find a copy over the web and download it. If you do download the game, then may god have mercy on your soul.

Pasta Player: An Untitled Scary

Let me begin by saying that I love the game An Untitled Story and am quite a scholar at it. However, it was my deep knowledge and curiosity that led me to this disturbing discovery, and it was my great love that made it worse. This story takes place before Undertomb and Strange Castle were implemented.

I had reached 98% completion. There was almost nothing left for me to collect, but I wanted to have more fun with this game. I decided to put my programming knowledge to use so I skimmed through the source code trying to look for secrets in the game and noticed something strange, but not too creepy to me at that time. There was an area which was apparently hidden in the game. It was between Cloudrun and Black Castle and was called Punishment. I saw a comment in the code: "Duck 666 times at the bird statue after reaching 95% for a surprise". I was excited to see what it was all about ingame so I went and pressed the down button 666 times. The ground beneath the statue disappeared and a purple portal appeared. I jumped in.

It was unlike anything I had seen in the game before. The screen had a reddish semi-transparent tint and occasionally there was a little visual noise which stayed in all of the future screens as well. There was no music. The place itself had only a pitch black floor, one wall behind me and a ceiling, the background was only grey and there were black hooks hanging from the ceiling. I was slightly unsettled but I went through the left side which had no wall.

As I entered, the screen quickly flashed red and after that it went black for about 2 seconds, during which some very disturbing music started playing, but it became far more disturbing when the blackness disappeared and I could...finally...see. And what I saw disgusted me and creeped me out. The red tint was gone, and the screen had become darker than the previous one. But the first thing that caught my attention was a giant "white" bird, like the one you play as, in the background. It was cut in 3 pieces, from the throat and the stomach and the parts were pinned. About half of the bird was covered in its own blood and guts, more realistic-looking than the rest of the game, and its eyes were wide open. Despite that, I kept my cool and got myself to look around in the room some more. I only saw what I think was a smaller version of the bird in the background, lying on a medical bed. My curiosity once again took over, so I climbed up some platforms that looked like spears, and from there I went left into another dark screen, where I was high at the top.

The floor was wide and deep. There were dozens of spikes on it where some birds were impaled with their blood splattered all over the place. From the ceiling were hanging once again some hooks, and yes, there were more birds on them, rocking left and right. The music did not stop. At this point I finally asked myself "What the hell is this sick shit?", a question which I might have asked in the previous screen if I wasn't so creeped out. There was nothing else in this room so I walked on the ceiling into the other room.

Here the music stopped but the screen was completely black except for a blue orb at the bottom. I went and grabbed it, and I really should have prepared myself for what happened next. A gut-wrenching sound was started and the view zoomed in to my character. He turned to face me and his flesh and insides came out of his mouth, covering him instead of skin. His organs were thrown out. When it all ended and the view zoomed out to normal again, the room was dimly lit with blood splattered on the wall behind and around my bird. There was also a writing on the wall: "THE CURIOUS WILL SUFFER". I noticed my mouth was open at that time. I had the most weird feeling. Why was this put in the game? Why didn't Matt delete the whole thing instead of hiding it? Halting all my questions, I once again entered the next room with my flesh-skinned blood-spilling bird.

I was very surprised but skeptical at first. The background and music were that of Cloudrun - everything was very pink, except for the floor and ceiling, which were both only halfway through the screen, and were black. There was a purple portal at the end of the road. Of course, I jumped in. The screen froze. The disturbing music from the screen with the big bird returned. The screen was split in half like a curtain, revealing goatse. The End. I assume this area is where...the ghosts...put...disobedient birds...

Pasta Player: Haunted Mario 64

Today I was playing Super Mario 64. My star count reached about 35 when I decided to go back and get the 100-coin stars for the first few worlds. It went pretty uneventfully for awhile as I don't like grinding for coins very much, but I wanted to get all 120 stars on my file.

After a few other levels, I jumped into the painting for Bob-omb Battlefield and picked the first star, and when the level started I noticed something strange- every character (except for Mario) had been replaced by Koopa the Quick. This was odd because it wasn't like a deliberate, careful replacement by a hacker. Instead, the game simply tried to render the proper shape and animations of the enemies using Koopa the Quick's model. Some people might find it horrifying to behold, but I found it hilarious when I was attacked by the giant chain chomp that now resembled a gigantic glob of Koopa parts.

This sidetracked me from my goal of getting 100 coins and I ran up to the top to see what the king looked like. To my disappointment, he looked normal, but I decided to fight him anyway because I wanted to see if the star model would also be messed up. When I beat him, however, something unexpected happened. Instead of his usual post-battle speech, he instead said "Just remember, you deserved this.

That bit confused me, and the cold, singular message seemed rather off, but I haven't played Super Mario 64 in a long time and I figured that some other character must say that line at some point. I couldn't remember, but since the game slapped a character model in all the wrong places, it wasn't unbelievable that the same could happen to a line of text. The star dropped as normal, so I tried to collect it to get out of the stage, but I couldn't. Whenever I would try to jump into the star, Mario would take two units of damage and fall back. I was just plain irritated at this point and decided to just keep doing it until it killed me. After being ejected from the stage, I went higher up into the castle and entered Tall, Tall Mountain. Once again, the level had something off about it.

In the stage Tick, Tock Clock, the speed of objects in the level is based on the position of the clock hands when you enter the stage. There's a way to enter the stage in a "time-frozen" state and somehow the same had happened to Tall, Tall Mountain. I explored the level but was still irritated because this was keeping me from progressing in the game. To blow off some steam I picked up one of the monkeys (easy to catch since it couldn't move!) and threw it off of the mountain.

My irritation gave way to fascination when the monkey just hung in midair off the side of the mountain. I decided to jump off the mountain too, and sure enough I was able to "land" on the air and run around, so I decided to explore my new-found lack of gravity. Eventually running on air lost its novelty and I decided to head back to the mountain, but when I turned around it was no longer there. Then suddenly Bowser dropped from (higher up in) the sky. I was ready to just quit since there were no bombs in the area and therefore I wouldn't be able to defeat him. As I got up to turn off the console, Bowser's dialogue popped up.

"Don't turn off the console. That would be rude." was the first line of dialogue. This time I knew I couldn't write this off as misplaced text. I was a bit shaken at how direct that seemed, and I wanted to just go ahead and be rude, but I realized that I just may be in one of those haunted video game situations, and my curiosity got the better of me. Since I'm still alive posting this, I recognize that it's hard to imagine me being in danger here, but keep in mind that just because I'm alive doesn't mean nothing bad happened. I mean, maybe later in the story I dive toward the console to turn it off and I land poorly and sprain my ankle. Anyway, I sat back down and started advancing the dialogue.

"That's better. Wouldn't want to stop before the real fun, would we?"

I remembered that in most haunted video game stories the game seems to be able to hear the player somehow, so I tried asking "What do you want from me?"

"Revenge."

I couldn't imagine why Super Mario 64 wanted revenge on me. You think it would go after the people who speedrun the game or something but I haven't even played the game in years. "What did I ever do to make you want revenge?" I asked the game.

"Think about it, Steve. You know exactly what you did."

Suddenly, I realized that something was wrong. Really wrong, and I don't just mean with the game or my ability to write a compelling narrative. I had to rectify the situation immediately. {C I put my hand to my forehead and told the game "Uh, my name isn't Steve." I continued advancing the game's dialogue.

"Wait, really? Oh boy, I've messed up. See, I'm Steve's pet turtle. I died because he forgot to feed me for a long time. I haunted his favorite video game to try and get revenge on him."

"So the reason for those Koopa models-"

"Right, you get the idea. I'm really sorry about this, I feel really bad. Just gonna be on my way now, you can press reset and things will be back to normal."

The vengeful spirit left my copy of Super Mario 64. Before it left, I asked him to show me something hyper-realistic, and it complied. I got to see a picture of Steve's family (presumably) as skeletons, and Mario pointed at one of them and said "It's-a Steve!" while crying tears of ketchup (the spirit only had one batch of blood tears to use for Steve so I had to settle for cheaper effects).

The spirit also saved all the remaining 100-coin stars into my file as an apology, and I appreciated that since I hate grinding coins. The real reason I'm telling this story though, is because if Steve is out there, I wanted to apologize for stealing your haunted video game story, and also to remind you to feed your damn pets.