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I Hate Eating

 


Nothing but raw meat for months now. Though, that’s not the worst part. No, that’s the bones and the teeth…they cut your throat on the way down. I’m sick to my stomach all the time, but I can’t vomit.

Day in and day out…it’s always the same. The chasing, the screaming, the inevitable silence…then only punctuated by the squelching of our mouths masticating flesh. I see it in the other’s eyes too, we’re all disgusted with ourselves. Some still weep while they chew…I got over that weeks ago.

Before I was bitten, I did everything in my power to stay alive. Kept my wife and I locked up safe in the basement. We survived the initial wave, but eventually ran out of food, and I needed to go out for supplies.

They snuck up on me in the supermarket. Having found a few cans of beans, I was so excited that I let my guard down…just for a second. Once I felt the teeth sink into my arm, I knew it was over. 100% infection rate, no cure, no immunity…I’d told my wife that if I was compromised, I wouldn’t come back, that I would never risk her safety.

I reached for my gun…had it nearly pointed at my head when one of them grabbed my arm and stopped me. They pinned me to the ground and just waited for it to take over. It doesn’t share its “thoughts” with me, so I still don’t fully understand its actions, but what I have figured out is that those that are healthy and strong become new hosts. Those that are old, weak, injured, many women…most children…become food.

It was several hours before I heard her voice. “Ben?! Ben, where are you?!”

NO! I told her to stay put! Never to come looking for me!

Desperately, I tried to call out to her, to tell her to run. But I was no longer in control of my vocal cords…no longer in control of anything. In horror, I watched my own body rise from the ground and follow the others in her direction.

She tried to flee…but she wasn’t quick enough…we caught her in seconds. I still hear her screaming every night, and see myself tearing holes in her beautiful face.

Now, I wish for death every day. Every time we find a new group of survivors, I pray one of them will finally put a bullet in my head. Blow me up, crush my skull…anything to stop this madness.

Today, I thought I might get lucky. We came across a heavily fortified house, and I watched several of my compatriots fall to booby traps on the perimeter. Unfortunately, I was with the group that breached the door.

He stopped a few of us before he ran out of ammo, but inevitably, we overwhelmed him and held him in place. Strong…a new host.

At least no feeding for now.

Then I heard a child whimper in the next room.

My head turned. 

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