The call came in at 9:30 for three large pizzas to be delivered across town. I let out a groan. I didn’t want to be working past ten, and people tip for shit on Halloween. Try to buy you off with candy half the time, which, no thank you, I can’t pay for my car with a bite-size. But, I was the only driver left that night, and no way were they going to turn down a bigger order like that. So fifteen minutes later I’m heading out, keeping my eyes peeled for dumb kids or drunk adults that might wander out in front of me for fun.
There were still a lot of people out, but it got less as I made my way across town. I didn’t deliver on this side that often. Whether people usually got pizza from other places or just didn’t order much at all, I probably had only been this far east a handful of times and I didn’t recognize the street name at all. Tenner Street. Huh, who knew?
When I was half a mile away I realized how dark it had gotten. Some of it was this side of town was just more sparsely populated, but I was still in town, and it was starting to seem weird that none of the houses I passed had lights on. Come to think of it, the street lights were out too. Fuck. Was the power down over here?
Sighing, I checked my phone’s map. The next turn was Tenner Street. Hopefully the people that ordered the pizzas were home and ready to pay, but I wasn’t hopeful. Making my way onto the street, I saw everything was dark here too. It was strange. The houses were older here, but fairly nice, and I saw cars parked along the street and in many of the driveways. But no people. No signs of life from inside the homes, even if it was just someone shining a flashlight or lighting candles. Everything felt too quiet on the street, and as I pulled up to 118 Tenner, I felt my stomach drop.
This house was in worse shape than the rest—a two-story wood house with vines crawling up the flaking walls and two of the three steps going up onto the porch being broken. Letting out a sigh, I debated even getting out. The place looked like a crackhouse at best, or abandoned at worst. Still…I had driven all this way, and if I didn’t make the delivery, I already knew I’d be paying for the pizza out of my pay. Fuck it, might as well see if anyone actually lived in the dump.
I got out but left the pizzas behind, deciding to check before bothering with them. Besides, setting the pizza guy up for a robbery wasn’t unheard of, and I didn’t want to have my hands full if someone came up on me too fast. Looking around warily, I went to the porch and jumped the steps to get up. The porch was covered with dead leaves and bits of trash, but it seemed solid enough when I was on it. Still, I was careful where I stepped as I went up to the front door and knocked.
“Hello? Anyone there? Pizza’s here.”
I waited, straining to hear some response, but there was nothing.
Knocking a second time, I tried again. “Pizza delivery! Just need to drop these off and receive payment! Then you can eat!”
Still no sign of movement or answer, and there was no doorbell either.
Cursing under my breath, I pounded on the door a third time.
“Yeah, I need to drop these off and get paid! Can someone please answer the door?”
I knew this was the right address. The numbers were right next to the fucking door. But odds are it was just a stupid Halloween prank. Order pizzas and send them to the creepy abandoned house down in the middle of…
“Hello?”
I let out a small scream at the voice behind me. “Jesus! Where’d you come fr…” I trailed off as I looked into the yard and saw the tall dark figure standing there. Was that like a big coat, or a costume or…I could barely make out anything about them other than they were big as shit and apparently quiet as a Goddamn ninja. Their voice was weird too, like…fuck, what was I doing? Time to get paid and get out of here.
“Sorry S…um, sorry. Are you the one that ordered the pizzas?”
The figure gave a nod. “Yeah. Pizza delivery.” This dude…or dudette…was really weird. Whatever this get up was, maybe like a parka or a Halloween snuggie or some shit…it made their whole top half bend when they moved. And that voice. What was wrong with their voice?
Swallowing, I nodded. “Cool. I just need to get the money first and I’ll grab your pizzas out of the car.”
“Get paid.”
I frowned, hopping off the porch and heading back toward my car. “Um, yes please.” I found myself going the long way around, avoiding getting too close to them even though I’d have to if I was going to take their money. I wished they’d just paid over the phone or something, and I could have just set the pizzas on the porch, because they were creeping me right the fuck out.
I realized that they had extended an arm now, and while my headlights weren’t shining in their direction, the dim moonlight overhead let me see a wad of bills held in a dark hand.
“Money.”
Nodding, I tried to fight down the nervous feeling in my chest. I was being dumb. Whatever weird Halloween shit they were up to, they were just fucking with me. I just needed to get paid and head home. I could turn in the cash tomorrow, and if Chet didn’t like it he could go…
It was then that the figure shuddered slightly, a little full body shiver like every muscle was rippling at once. But what the fuck was he wearing that would do like that? I felt myself slowing to a stop again. Something wasn’t right here.
“Receive payment. Please.” As they spoke, they waggled the money again more urgently, as though to say I needed to hurry up and come get it.
I sucked in a breath. I knew what was wrong with their voice now. It…It was my voice. My words, mixed up and said back to me. To trick me. To lure me i…
The figure took a step forward, and as it did, I saw it start to expand. Unfurl. I turned and bolted to my car. Fuck this dude, fuck this order, and fuck this place. I opened the door and jumped inside, slamming it shut just as something hit the side of my car hard enough to rock it on its wheels. I turned to look, and began to scream.
It was like a raw, meat blanket had been draped across the side of the car, full of curved, twisting teeth and a dozen purple questing tongues that whipped across my window’s glass like small, angry snakes. Amid the red and black stretches of wet skin, I saw several yellow eyes rolling and glaring as it snarled at me. On my hood I saw the arm holding the money banging as it flopped back and forth, bending far more than a real arm should. But then it wasn’t a real arm, was it? It was a trick. Even the fucking money…was it holding fucking Monopoly money?
“Son-of-a-fucking-bitch.”
Outside, the thing roared, pushing against the car harder.
“Jesus! Need…to eat!”
Cranking the car, I threw it into reverse and picked out an eye to flip it the bird.
“Not tonight, motherfucker!”
Shooting the car back into the street, I watched it stumble as it almost lost its balance and then corrected itself, already curling back into the person-shape it had used before. I saw the money flutter around it as it shook its one fist impotently at me. I didn’t wait to let it take another run at me, stomping the gas and driving away as quick as I could without hitting a mailbox or winding up in a ditch. Still, once I was further down the street I couldn’t help but look back.
There it was, standing in the middle of the road, looking after me, its misshapen silhouette sinister in the silver moonlight. As I went to look away and make the turn, I realized it had raised its arm up high as though to give me a final message.
Its long and twisted middle finger defiantly stabbing the October sky.
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