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Let's Not Meet: Why I Don't Go to Parties


Okay, let me start by saying that I'm a female college student. My school is known for being a big party school, but I'm not really into that. I never have been, even in high school--I never saw the point in it all--but after my last party, I have even more reason not to be.

It was my first semester of freshman year. I'm a chemistry major, and met a lot of my friends through various labs and lectures. There have also been a fair share of creeps. I'm really not used to being the center of anybody's attention, as I never have been before, and don't really see a reason why I should be. I liked having only a few friends and keeping my circle close. I liked being by myself, in the background. But still, new state, new rules, and there were creeps.

Anyway, one such creep was named Tom. He was in my chemistry lecture, and from day one, he just seemed to fixate on me. At first, I'd just catch him staring at me when I looked over my shoulder at the clock--he always made sure to sit behind me. I'd smile politely and turn back around, slightly creeped but nothing super bad. Then, after a couple weeks, he got up the nerve to talk to me. I was raised to never be rude or just ignore people talking to me, so I played nice, even though I wasn't interested. I don't know why I was so against him at first--he seemed nice enough when we talked--but something in my gut told me it was off.

Anyway, I started seeing him everywhere, even when I knew he was supposed to be in class. I tried everything for him to get the hint. I tried avoiding him, moving seats in lecture, shutting down his attempted conversations... Unfortunately, I'm not a very confrontational person, and couldn't find a way to just tell him to leave me alone. And he didn't seem to get the hint. My friends always teased me that I had an admirer, and I'd laugh along, but it unnerved me. He just started inserting himself into my life, and I didn't know what to do.

One time, just after Thanksgiving break, I was studying outside at a picnic table, and, lo and behold, Tom shows up. He starts asking how my break was, how my family was, if I was happy to be back...and then he asked how Bruno and Rylee were.
Bruno and Rylee are my dogs, and while I love to show them off, I knew for a fact that I had never talked about them with him or showed him any pictures. The rational part of my mind reminded me that Rylee was the lock screen on my phone, so he could have at least seen her when I checked the time or something, and Bruno was my wallpaper, so he might have seen him at some point, but how did he know their names? When I asked him, he got nervous and tried to convince me that I'd told him, but when I insisted that I didn't, he made some excuse and walked off. I should have done something then, maybe talked to security or something, but I didn't. I regret to say that I didn't want to; I thought I could handle it myself. I never have been good at asking for help.

So, fast forward a little. Tom started getting weird. He kept asking for my number, asking me out, trying to get me to invite him back to my dorm...he got really aggressive. Eventually I got to the point where my instinctual, well-learned manners went out the window, and I flat out told him, directly yet gently, as I'm not in the habit of hurting people's feelings, that I was not interested in having a relationship with him (or anyone) right now. He got angry, yelled at me for leading him on, called me names like "slut" and "bitch" and "whore," and then just stormed off. He started texting me non-stop, telling me how much he hated me and how I deserved to die. I still don't know how he got my number.

I know what you're thinking. "Now, she must have gone to the police or security or something, right?" Nope. I was an idiot. I'm not a very confident person as it is, and some tiny part of me felt guilty, like I actually had led him on. I didn't even tell anyone about the texts; I just deleted them all, convinced that if I just ignored him long enough, he'd give up and go away. I was a stupid, naive little 18-year-old, and I just...let it happen.

Okay, fast forward about a month or so. It's near the end of the semester, close to time for us all to head home for winter break. My friend Anna had just broken up with her boyfriend, and she and my other friend, Tori, wanted to go out and drink to take her mind off things. Tori and Anna are both very petite girls, and, naturally, are incredible lightweights. They've been known to make some terrible choices after just a few beers, so they asked me to come with them and keep an eye on them. I agreed, and brought my own water bottle with me so that I wouldn't have to drink anything there--even the water at these parties made me suspicious. The three of us went to the party, and while Tori and Anna went and got to drinking, I just sat on the couch in the corner and kept an eye on them, taking sips from my water.

We'd been there for about three hours, and then someone sat down beside me. I look over, and--you guessed it--there's Tom. He seems totally hammered already, and he starts talking to me, telling me almost incoherently how sorry he is, how much he misses me, how he overreacted, how he wishes he could take it all back, and asking if we could hang out later. I refused and told him to leave me alone, but still, he persisted. After another ten minutes, I saw Anna across the room--stumbling drunk--about to walk off with some guy.

I got up from the couch after telling Tom yet again to leave me alone, and went over to Anna. I seperated her from her, ahem, new friend--who was not nearly as drunk as her and clearly wanted to take advantage of her--and got her and Tori back together. I tried to tell them that we should leave, but they begged me to let them stay a little longer, just so they could dance some more, and there's really no arguing with those two when they're drunk, so I let them. When I went back to the couch, Tom was gone.

Please note that most of the rest of this story I only pieced together after the fact, as some of my memories are vague at best, and most are just missing altogether.

I must have left my water bottle on the couch when I went to save Anna. After I took a few drinks, I started to feel weird. I was super dizzy and shaky, so I decided it was time to go home. I grabbed Anna and Tori, and we left, taking the bus back to the dorm (or, at least, we must have). When I woke up, I was in my bed, still in my clothes from the night before, and I had the worst headache. I couldn't remember anything at all after I started to feel weird. My roommate told me that I came home around two and stumbled into bed and passed out, mumbling something about not feeling well. She was surprised, as she knew I didn't drink, but just figured I decided to let go a little and had a little too much. I started to realize what happened: Tom drugged my water.

I felt sick; I knew Tom was a weirdo, but I never thought he'd be quite so...driven. It sent shivers down my spine to think about what he planned to do. As if to confirm my suspicions, when I checked my phone, I had a new text from Tom. It said, "Why'd you leave early last night? I had such a night planned for you."


I didn't go out much after that. Not just to parties, but to class, either. I told my friends and professors I was sick, and got the last week's notes from them. After finals and break, I came back and found out that while Tom was stalking me, he was neglecting his classes, and, as a result, had flunked out. I haven't seen him since, but still, I haven't gone to a party since then, either. So, Tom, you are one sick bastard; let's never meet again.

----

via: reddit.com/r/letsnotmeet

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