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Your Biggest Fan


By Byron Kastilahn

Re: Your Biggest Fan

I’ll admit
This wasn’t my plan
But I’ve always been
Your biggest fan
It was a dare, you see
Email the actor
Of your favorite movie
They said,
“There’s no harm in tryin’”
And when I got your response
I was practically dyin’
But the content of your response
Your fiendish, conniving plot
Oh
You dirty
Dirty boy
“I can’t accept your love.”
You told me
“I’ve already got someone”
Then
My good friend
My beautiful
Beautiful friend
Why did you respond
In the very first place
And I thought
“It must be a mistake.”
You’re playing with me
Toying with me
Being, “naughty”
I love naughty
Naughty boys
That’s why I’m typing this
On my Android
Right outside your house

Signed: Your Biggest Fan

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