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I Don't Think I'm Real


5:30 am

My Alarm clock goes off. I wake up and hear a tapping noise coming from my window. I turn to it and see nothing but the still dark sky and the other apartment buildings in the complex I live in. I dismiss it as my half-asleep brain continuing its ceaseless quest to make my life a living hell, or as close to it as one can get.

I hit snooze, hoping to slip into unconsciousness for just a little longer before beginning the day, but the tapping continues and I eventually get back up to look at the window again. Nothing.

Sometimes I hate my brain.

I fall back asleep and wake up again at 5:42. I decide today will be a wake-up-late-and-rush-to-get-ready type of day and hit snooze again. I wake up at 5:56 and begin to start my morning routine. I throw my clothes on, brush my teeth, put on deodorant, and grab some pop-tarts to eat in the car. All of this was done by 6:01. I’ve gotten this routine down to a science because I do it pretty much every morning. I go to work and begin my never-ending grind. I take a lunch break around noon and go to subway. I think I see something in the corner that looks like a person, but I look back and it’s empty.

"Guess I didn’t get enough sleep last night." I say to myself as I go to the counter to get my usual artery clogging meatball sub.

I finish my sub and go to the bathroom to wash up and pee. As I’m washing my hands I notice something strange. It’s like my reflection isn’t… In sync with me. I put my hands in the water, and so does my reflection, but a split second later. Again, I chalk this up to not having enough sleep, but as I was leaving, I could have sworn it smiled when I definitely did not.

I go back to work and say a casual “hey” to my coworkers as I pass them, but every one of them ignored me. Guess they’re not in the mood to talk. I go to my manager’s office to ask him if I can have a day off next week (Doctor’s appointment, nothing important), but he ignores me, too. He acts like I’m not even there. I wave my hand in front of his face, but he is unphased. At this point, I’m aware that something isn’t right, but I wasn’t sure if he was just being a dick (He was pretty well known for being one around the office). Finally, I go back to my cubicle and go to sit down, when I see myself, sitting at the desk. I blink my eyes hard, thinking I’m just hallucinating, but after I open them, it was clear he was just as real as anything else. I begin breathing heavily, and he must hear me because he turns around, gives me a sly, almost knowing smile and turns back around. I stop thinking rationally at this point and start screaming. I expect people to react, to tell me to shut the hell up, or even ask if I was okay, but no one said a thing. No one even seemed to notice, which was more terrifying than anything else that had happened today. I don’t even remember leaving the office. What I do remember is people looking at me like I was crazy when I drove my car home. Even other drivers. I almost caused a few accidents because people couldn’t stop staring at me. I wonder what is so interesting about someone driving home.

I walk in my front door and go to the bathroom. As I’m leaving, I notice something in the mirror, or should I say lack of something. Me.

I wasn’t there. I walked right by it and never saw anything other than the wall behind me. And then it occured to me why people were looking at me so weirdly when I was driving. I don’t exist. To them the car was driving itsself because I’m not real. But I had to be. How else could I have even driven? How had I eaten my lunch. Why hadn’t someone noticed in subway?! The person who gave me my sandwich seemed to see me just fine, so why hadn’t anyone else? So many questions are running through my head right now, but not one single answer. As I’m sitting, trying to figure out what the hell is happening with my life when I hear my alarm clock go off.

"What the hell?" I think as I walk into my room. It wasn’t supposed to be going off right now. I look and see myself waking up. I’m pretty much in shock from the earlier events so my reaction to this was basically nonexistent, though inside my head was a hurricane of possible reasons why this was happening and even more reasons why the other reasons are wrong.

I’m surprised to see, however that the “me” in my bed doesn’t seem to notice me. Suddenly I get an idea. I go over to my window and tap on it 3 times. I see the other me turn to look at it, then turn back, hit snooze, and go back to sleep. I tap again, remembering when I heard the tapping that morning. The other me turns back around, sighs, and goes back to sleep. At precisely 5:42, he wakes up, hits snooze and goes back to sleep. At 5:56, he wakes up, gets ready, and leaves at 6:01 carrying pop-tarts.

I think I just got a little bit closer to figuring this whole thing out.

—
Credits to: somekindoftimeshift

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