Guides - Beautiful Lady = BL
Workaholic Roomate = WR
Ugly Roomate = UR
Innocent Roomate = IR
WR: *sighs* It's been 5 years since I broke up wif my ex. His image is still a little blur to me
BL: *sighs* Same here. Sometimes I can't even remember how exactly does he look like
WR: How many years since you broke up?
BL: *looks at clock* Half an hour ago
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UR: Sometimes I feel a sudden rush of depression these days. You know how to get rid of it?
BL: Try falling in love. Love is always the best medicine
UR: What about marriage?
BL: Please don't overdose
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IR: I can't sleep with lights!
WR: Well I can't sleep without light!
BL: I can't sleep without men!
WR: *looks outside* You just woke up the whole damn neighbourhood of men...
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Landlord: Time for rent!
BL: *hides n keeps quiet*
Landlord: I know you're home
BL: *remains quiet*
Landlord: Every husband in the neighbourhood is with their wives today
BL: *groans n pays rent*
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Landlord: Time for rent! And if you can't pay you'll have to pack up n leave
BL: *shouts out loud* Guys! I'm leaving!
5 men (showed up outta nowhere): *digging their wallets* How much? I'll pay!
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UR: How's the current economy status?
WR: *points to BL* Ask her
UR: But she's not an economist!
WR: True, but she can tell from her gifts she get from men the economy status
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WR: Who's that waiting down there in a tux?
BL: He's been trying to woo me for 3 days now. His dad's the executive manager of a jewelry company and owns 3 other businesses in England and 2 more in China
WR: Then what are you waiting for??
BL: I'm thinking whether I should be his stepmother
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WR: The economy is more and more worse. Ppl r looking for second jobs to cope with the expenses. What about you?
BL: The same. I'm looking for men with two jobs
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BL: I am born to be every man's lover. But I'm a new age lover: I only require men's love, not their money
WR: So how do you support yourself?
BL: Through their wives' request for separation fee
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BL: I dug deep into my pockets to publish 2000 copies of my novel of my love affair with 10 married men. First day of sales n I sold them all out
IR: Wow! That's amazing! How did you do it?
BL: Those 10 idiots bought 200 copies each
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WR: You go around flirting and taking advantage of men, and hv overly high maintenance. Why can't you get rid of that stereotypical attitude and be a modern woman? You are a shame to all women
BL: I don't mind, as long as I'm the pride of all men
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BL: Come shopping with me
IR: I thought u always ask some guy to go shopping with you
BL: Can't. Their wives all wanted to go out shopping
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At the cinema...
Man #1: Get me a seat with a clear view
Man #2: A seat with a clear view, please
Man #3: A seat with a clear view
BL: A seat with a clear view of me
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BL: Hello there. Doesn't your father usually come over to collect the rent?
Landlord's son: It can't be helped. He's getting old
BL: Too old for money-collecting?
Landlord's son: Too old for women-watching
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BL: Can you delay the rent for a few more days?
Landlord: Sure, just come closer
UR: What about me?
Landlord: Sure, just stay away
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BL: Love is lethal. When you can't get men to notice you at first sight, you're dead
IR: What if a man doesn't notice you at first sight?
BL: Hurry up and get another man to do so
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BL: *receiving a string of calls* Hello, Jerry, dinner on Friday? No problem. Hello, Andy, shopping on Saturday? No problem. Hello, Vincent, hot springs on Sunday? No problem.
WR: *thinks* If my business is as hot as her, I'd have no problem
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UR: If one day I get married, will you seduce my husband?
BL: Goodness, dear, we've been friends for so long. How could you not trust me?
UR: I'm just a little worried
BL: If you don't trust my character, at least you should trust my taste
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Waiter: Ma'am, please pay the check. We're closing
BL: Is there no men willing to pay my tab?
Waiter: Sorry, ma'am. Not a single one
BL: *thinking* I'm definitely not coming back to this gay restaurant
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WR: Experts say that every 3 people, one of them is a working woman. I just don't understand why you choose to remain unemployed
BL: What do you know? I'm one of the reasons why the other 2 men is working their asses off
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BL: How much do you actually have?
Man: How much do you actually worth?
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BL: I plan to dump this man
IR: OMG, that man is gorgeous! Why? Are you bored of him?
BL: All my friends are bored of him
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UR: What's the pros of getting married?
BL: It trains your memory
UR: How so?
BL: You'll thinking back your single days
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BL: Have you seen my future lover?
Fortune-teller: I only see a woman
BL: What woman?
Fortune-teller: Your future lover's wife
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At funfair...
BL: I'm on a bad streak. I couldn't win anything
IR: Don't give up. You should use your experience
BL: Wat experience?
IR: Your experience in winning over men
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WR: Here's the news headlines: AIDS spreading like wildfire, killing millions...
BL: Old school
WR: Pollution soaring skyhigh...
BL: Yesterday's fashion
WR: Today's men don't stray away from wives and families...
BL: OMG, that's terrible!
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Man: If you don't marry me, I'll kill myself
BL: I'm sorry, I still cannot accept your proposal
UR: Don't worry, I'll marry you
Man: Thank you for making me want to kill myself more
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BL: *talks to mirror* Listen good. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. The most, most beautiful woman in the world
All the roomates: *as soon as BL leaves* Don't listen to her. You're the most beautiful!
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Man: What do you think of love?
BL: Love is priceless
Man: Then let's get married!
BL: Marriage is expensive
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BL: If you act silly, men will think you have quality
UR: No offence, but I kinda question that theory. I've tried it so many times and no men think I have quality
BL: I mean act silly, not be silly
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IR: Can you love 2 men at once?
BL: Of course not. I usually fall in love with a bunch of men at once
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BL: To be honest, I've lost count of all the men I've loved
IR: You better keep track of yourself
BL: Why?
IR: Lovers can count; bitches can't
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UR: Why don't men love me? Why don't men ever care about me? Why? Why?
BL: Coz men hate women who can't stop asking why
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Waiter: The total is $113, plz
BL: Here. *hands him a card* Come fren, let's go
WR: Wat is that card you just gave him? Don't you need to sign for it?
BL: It's my phone number
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BL: Men to me are like disposables. Once used can be disposed of. So to me, breaking up wif men is like throwing out the garbage
UR: Are there many like you out there?
BL: Nope. But when it comes to picking up the garbage, there's plenty
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BL: You're always so busy, no wonder you have an unhappy life
WR: Humph! At least I'm creating opportunities for many people. What abt u? What's ur contribution to society being aloof n unemployed?
BL: I'm creating many opportunities for men
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IR: I have much interest in philosophy
BL: I, too, have much interest in philosophy
IR: I've gone to 10 philosopher's lectures
BL: I've gone on 10 philosopher's beds
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WR: *On the phone* What?! The stocks have gone down drastically! Get rid of my stocks immediately!
BL: Lend me your phone plz *dials number* Get rid of all my stock-buying boyfriends!
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UR: I love to collect things that symbolize freedom. Look, here's the rock taken from the walls of the parliament where Guy Fawkes tried to bomb
BL: I have something similar too. Look, a copy of my friend's divorce papers
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Man: You're the comet that comes only once a millenium, you're the genie in the thousand year old bottle, you're the brightest star that shines in the galaxy...
BL: Go away. I will not associate myself with someone who sees so little of me
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BL: I know the best coffee in France, the best sushi in Japan, the best steak in NY
IR: Can you help me get a bottle of ketchup?
BL: Where can I get that?!
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At the golf course...
Man: Steady... Steady... Steady... Steady...
BL: I'm very steady
Man: I meant me
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BL: This is the list of men I broke in the past, present and will be in the future
IR: You should save a little
BL: What? The men?
IR: No, the paper
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UR: What are you doing?
BL: Deciding who to date.
UR: What's choosing shoes gotta do with who to date?
BL: Short heels for short men, high heels for tall men
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Waiter: What'll it be?
BL: *whispers to IR* Any men interested with us wen we came in?
IR: *whispers bk* I don't think so
BL: *talks to waiter* Just give us the cheapest set lunch
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BL: Phew! It's getting hot in here *removes jacket* Ah, that's better
Men: Phew! It's getting hot in here
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BL: Tomorrow I'm going to enjoy the romance of Paris, then the next day the roughin' n toughin' of Germany, then the next day the vibrant of America, then finally the next day the protectiveness of Japan
WR: Don't be ridiculous. You can't go to four different countries in four days!
BL: Maybe, but four different men would do the trick
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BL: I'm not happy. I'm not happy at all. Do you think I'd be happier if I stop seducing men?
Psychiatrist: Nope, but I bet many women would
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BL: Make me copies of 10 keys
Locksmith: No problem. Have a lot of doors, haven't we?
BL: Have a lot of boyfriends
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BL: I'll pay you $50 to see my future
Fortune-teller: I'm sorry, I can't do that
BL: Why not?
Fortune-teller: *points at a bunch of men behind her* They paid me more to see your past
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BL: My 1st bf gave me these earrings, my 2nd bf gave me this ring, my 3rd bf gave me this bracelet...
Man: I'm sorry. I can't afford to give you jewelry
BL: Then give me a new bf
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WR: Experts say that this year the whole country's women have an average of dating more boyfriends than last year by 50%
IR: That's ridiculous. I've never had dated more than I did last year
UR: I agree. This statistic is flawed
BL: No problem, they must've included my number of dates
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WR: You know the beauty of computers? Whatever information I need, I can just get it with the click of a button
BL: You know the beauty of phones? Whatever men I want, I can just call them with the dial of a number
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UR: Men today are hopeless in the test of love. How do I let them know that I'm their only sweetheart
BL: Don't let them see other sweethearts
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UR: Where have all the good men gone?
BL: Taken away by bad women
UR: Then where have all the bad men gone?
BL: Taking away good women
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IR: Can someone live without love?
BL: Of course, and they live longer too
IR: That's a relief
BL: Although they don't care if you're alive or not
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WR: How many men have you broke up with exactly?
BL: Too many to count
WR: Don't you get hate mail from them?
BL: Yeah, but their wives' thank you note balance it out
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Man: OMG! How could you dump me for that man? Does he earn more than me?
BL: Of course not, darling, but he spends better than you
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BL: Many men say this to me "Marry me or I'll die"
UR: Many men had said something like that to me
BL: Such as?
UR: "Marry me and I'll die"
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BL: Truth be told, men are only women's toys
IR: I'm still a kid, I don't understand the meaning
BL: Don't worry. I'll get you a child-safe toy
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IR: Why do men like to put their hands on women's bodies?
BL: Coz it gives them satisfaction
IR: Then what should we do to get satisfaction?
BL: Put our hands into their wallets
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Man: You are my goddess
BL: Get out of here
Man: You are my salvation
BL: Get out of here
Man: *walks off n muttered* I guess not even money can win the hearts of women
BL: Get back here
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IR: Look at all the number of love letters I got from my boyfriend
BL: That's nothing. Look at all the messengers I got from sending letters for my boyfriend
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WR: Is it true that men starts to regret after the wedding next day?
BL: Yes, of course
WR: What abt the women?
BL: When the husband stop letting her buy new clothes
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BL: When men stops talking, women starts nagging
UR: When women stops talking?
BL: Men starts worrying
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