The Old Hotel

There is an old hotel that has been around for hundreds of years.

If you stay in Room 6, you will find yourself in an unknown place, where exactly at 12:16 AM the power will go out and you’ll be thrust into utter darkness.

If you choose to stay awake, nothing will happen beyond that.

But if you so much as close your eyes and fall asleep, you will find yourself in an unimaginable pit of despair, where creatures of fathomless shapes and sizes roam.

You will be trapped here for hours, until the sun comes up.

It is rumored that this room is a gate into hell, and that demons use the condensed evil of the room to escape into our reality through our minds.

Those who have stayed in there rarely speak of it, for even recalling the night will put them in an uncontrollable frenzy.

Arcadia, The Lost State

The 51st state of the United States, Arcadia, was admitted to statehood on January 17th, 1977.

Exactly 4 years to the day later, Arcadia disappeared along with all its residents, and all memory of its existence was erased from every mind in the world.

Its precise former location is unknown, though there is rumored to be a map of the type sold in gas stations and convenience stores held under lock and key in the Library of Congress.

Also of note are claims of the sporadic delivery of mail from Arcadia, with modern postmarks, to several major American newspapers, the contents of which are said to be written in an entirely unknown and undecipherable language.

Unfortunately, those letters to a one have been misplaced and are not available for examination.

The Meteor

In 1990, a small meteorite was sighted in the night sky by the Hubble telescope. It appeared to be on a collision course with earth, but calculations showed that it was far too small and moving far too slowly to be a threat to our home planet.

In 1997, the long-forgotten meteorite entered the atmosphere.

It did not burn away, as scientists predicted; it barely even grew warm. Even so, it landed without drawing much attention on the outskirts of a village in the middle of Africa, on the edge of the Sahara.

Three months later, a safari expedition vanished while en route through the jungle. They never reached their checkpoint, within walking distance from the desert.

A research team in 1998 happened on the impact crater of the meteorite by chance. They detected high levels of radiation in the crater, though they could not identify what element had caused it. They drove to the nearby village to warn the locals of the danger, but the settlement was completely empty.

Not a soul nor a body could be found for miles around. The only evidence of life left, current or past, were the long-abandoned grass huts, and a great number of footprints leading into the sands of the Sahara. None of the footprints could be matched against any living creature on record.

The Dark City

There’s a dark forest deep in the heart of the Rockies, surrounded on all sides by mountains. In the center of the forest is a lake on the shores of which you will find a large black stone. If you swim out into the center of the lake, the stone will drag you down into the darkness.

You will emerge from shadows in the alley of a frightening dark city of heavily arched roofs and buildings built on stilts. You must not talk to a single citizen of this city, or you shall be trapped there forever. The citizenry is horrid and mutated, and they will leer and curse at you, and their hideous and deformed women shall offer you unknown and horrible lewdnesses.

At the edge of this city is a highway. Walk down the left side of the road (yes, against traffic) with your thumb out and a man in a dark truck shall pick you up and drive you back the way you came. The city will be gone, and he will take you to any place on Earth as long as you can name it and there’s a road there.

The Glacier Canyon

If you travel to the furthest glaciers in the south, it is said you can walk into the canyons of ice there.

If you find the junction of two canyons that form a perfect square, you can lie down in the middle there and feel no cold.

If you listen, the ice will speak and what it says will make poor men rich, and sane men mad.

Unit 232

In a nondescript rural corner of the American midwest, in a long row of units at one of the many dilapidated mini storage businesses that dot that dreary landscape, is a unit, Unit 232, with barely-noticable scratches in the concrete in front of the sliding door.

Upon closer inspection of Unit 232, the careful observer will note a few things: the frame around the door to the unit is dinged and bent up along its entire length, to the point that the door cannot be slid open even an inch; the door itself is curiously warped (some describe it as “pinched”) at the center, though not badly enough to see at first glance; the brown-tan paint covers up several much older layers that can be observed where chipping has occurred. An even more careful observer will discover that the entire row of units in which 232 is contained is of an older architectural style than the other rows, indicating that it alone has remianed in place possibly since the inception of the storage facility.

The owner, of course, has a story about Unit 232, although he doesn’t like to tell it. When he was much younger, someone rented the unit–he doesn’t recall who–and then disappeared after that, never paying the next month’s rent. Such things, the owner will say, happen often in his business, for all kinds of reasons, and so he and his boys clipped the flimsy lock from the unit along with several other unpaid lots a few weeks later, intending to sell its contents at blind auction and recoup some of their losses. Unfortunately, even with all three of them grunting and heaving at the door, it would not lift at all. Angry, the owner hired out some heavy machinery to tear the door down instead.

Behind the door, the owner says, was nothing but a solid wall of dull steel. The small backhoe tore the flimsy aluminum door out easily, but barely made a scratch in the metal. Exploratory cuttings elsewhere around the unit revealed that the same metal pressed against every wall. Whatever it was, it seemed practically bolted into the concrrete.

The next revelation was the discovery of a large, plain keyhole set into the block–which, the owner supposes, must actually have something else inside of it–on the side that faced the back of the unit. A locksmith was hired to examine the keyhole, but the moment he began feeling out the hole with his turning tools, he fainted clean away. When he came to an hour or so later, he was in such bad shape that his eyes would not focus and his tongue would not form words, and he was eventually committed to the county mental health ward (back when it was still called an asylum, the owner will say) where he managed to hang himself with a towel a few months later.

Having had quite enough of these goings-on, the owner called in a full-scale demolition service to take out the unit with a bulldozer, but when the vehicle arrived, the engine cut out and could not be started again until it had been towed some miles away. Spooked because of the story about the locksmith, which caused a small local media sensation at the time, the driver decided against trying a second time, and when word got round to the other heavy equipment companies in the area, the owner was left with no one to try and finish the job.

Naturally, he will say, he decided to rent the equipment and have one of his employees take care of it for him instead. But this is where he trails off, every time, and if you press him for the story of that worker, he will say nothing, only staring off out the window of his office as though you are not there at all. In the end, he will say, clearing his throat, he carefully re-paneled the walls, attached a new door, welded it in place and banged up the frame as an added precaution. The “pinching” at the center of the door, he will tell you, seems to happen on its own, but he has learned to stop asking questions about whatever is locked up inside that huge steel box.

Of course, every lock has a key somewhere in the world that fits it. What is inside the cube in Unit 232? Whoever has the key might know; more likely it has been passed along from attic to attic and rummage sale to antique shop so many times that whoever has it has no idea what it is for. Check your garage, basement, attic or junk drawers: almost everyone has a few big, old keys lying in a dark corner somewhere that he or she cannot recall the purpose of. Perhaps one of yours fits the lock hidden inside Unit 232….

Sakonia

January 1st, 1786
1st Entry
My name is James Hawk. I am an English explorer. This is the log of my ship, the Dasadania. Today, we set sail from Callorack Island, with fresh provisions and repairs. Our objective is simple; to find new islands, or possibly continents, for the Queen. Her majesty has commissioned us to find one island in particular, though; the island known as Sakonia. Why exactly Her Majesty wants us to find this one island is unclear to me; I do not ask questions, though. I simply do as I am told. Callorack Island is, supposedly, close to Sakonia, and so that is the starting point of our expedition for Sakonia. We have already located several other exotic islands. This will be our last island. After this we will return to England. I must end this entry now, for I am required on deck.
James Hawk.

January 2nd, 1786;
Today, I had a most unsettling experience down in the hold. I had gone down to bring up certain objects of dubious legality when there was a thump ahead in the shadows. This in itself was neither disturbing nor unusual; it could be a barrel that fell over, the cat we kept down there to keep out the rats, or, heavens forbid, a rat itself. As I stepped forward, lantern lit, to check, I discovered that it was, in fact, none of these. Nothing was visible within the shadows, or the section, when my lantern chased them away. I looked up in time to see something darting around the crates where I could not follow. I stepped forward, noticing a small white patch of fur, stained with blood. Shifting the crates, I discovered a shocking sight: nothing. Whatever it was, it was long gone, and so, it seemed, was the cat.

January 3rd, 1986;
Today, I am proud to announce that we have sighted what we believe to be Sakonia. It looks like a quite nice place to relax; Perhaps that is why the Queen wishes us to find it. On a rather more grim note, the steersman, Alexander, has gone missing. This leaves us a hand short. We are conducting a search of the entire ship tonight.

January 4th; 1786
Today, I am the herald of tidings both good and bad. The good news is that we have found Alexander in the hold, unconscious. The bad is that he appears to have come down with a fever of sorts. Upon revival, he began shouting and screaming, and now refuses to steer us into the island. Exactly why he does not want to land there is unknown; he simply refuses to move, shouting at us. What he is saying is both disturbing and cryptic; he speaks of the one-eyed torturer, the beast in the hold and other nonsense. However, as long as he remains in such a state, we can not steer into the island.

Unfortunately, this is the least of our problems with him. He has injured himself and written cryptic messages in his own blood. The strangest message he has written, however, is “Croatoan; Roanoke; Croatoan.” We do not understand what he means by this, although we do know that Croatoan and Roanoke are two islands discovered years back. However, Alexander has, to the extent of our knowledge, never heard of this.

January 5th; 1786
Today, we woke to the crashing of rocks and wood. We all rushed on deck to discover a grim sight.

Alexander had lasher the tiller and wheel in the direction of the island before winding his Crucifix tightly around his hand and committing suicide with a knife. The ship had driven straight into Sakonia.

Nobody has been injured, other than Alexander. We are fortunate. After we have salvaged any supplies that we can, we will go ashore.

January 6th; 1786
Today, we went ashore. The island is a pleasant enough place; however, there is a vague unease about the place. We will set camp and sleep on the shore of the island tonight. We have committed Alexander’s body to the sea. The crucifix was in a death grip about his hand, so we simply left it there. Oddly, Alexander had carved a message into his own flesh before he killed himself; It simply said “He comes.”

The island is rather strange; although it is a tropical paradise, I have heard no birds or any other animals. The trees rustle and sway as though in a wind, and yet the wind is blowing in a different direction. We will discover more in the morning.

January 7th; 1786
Today, we went further inland. The eerie silence continues, save for the occasional noise in the distance; we are unsure what they are, but they are certainly not of natural causes. We are not alone.

The word “Croatoan” has been carved into several trees we have passed so far; who carved them? what does Croatoan mean? In any case, our destination is the summit of the mountain on the island, where we will stake our claim for England. This search party, me included, consists of 4 of our 8 man crew. The rest of the crew are back at the landing site, repairing the ship.

January 8th; 1786.
Today, I awoke to find out that one of the other three men was gone. His tent was normal, his sleeping bag was ruffled like he had risen early, and there were no signs of trouble. He was simply gone.

Whether he was taken by means of force or simply got up and left for reasons known only to himself remains a mystery. However, it is my personal belief that if he had left voluntarily, he would have taken his equipment with him. We will continue towards the mountain and hope to find the missing man on the way.

January 9th; 1786
Today, I awoke to find everything normal. Nobody had vanished during the night. This is a good sign.

However, Mandolin, a crewman, reported hearing “strange noises” and seeing “strange visions” during the night. I believe he was dreaming. I sleep lightly, and I heard nothing, I saw nothing, and I am starting to believe the other two men are crazy, or extremely paranoid. I, however, remain cool; I have been on too many expeditions to let tales of spooks and ghouls frighten me. We will press on.

January 10th; 1786
Today, we found the missing man’s body. He was naked, lying in a clearing, his eyes wide open and his mouth in an eternal scream. No cause of death is apparent. I mentioned earlier that I would not quit; I retract this. We are going back to the landing site and getting off Sakonia.

January 11th; 1786
We are now back at the landing site. Nothing is here; The tools of the other 4 men are still here, but the men themselves are long gone. The ship is also gone; the crew appears to have repaired it and left.

A little further exploration turned up a note. The note said “We are getting off the island. The night is dangerous; DO NOT GO TO SLEEP. Build a raft and get off Sakonia. Now. May God have mercy on your soul should you remain. If you hear dru-” The rest of the letter was gone. Needless to say, we have begun construction of a raft; night is fast approaching. Should the rest of the crew be believed, tonight will be a dangerous one. We will keep watch.

January 11th, Night; 1976
It is now night, I heard some of the strange sounds and saw some of the visions mentioned by Mandolin.

They were of the most disturbing variety. One thing I saw was the missing crew member, walking about; He came to the shoreline and lay down as if sleeping. Then he was dragged away by an unseen force backwards into the forest. Another was that, the moment the sun went down, a deep blackness began spreading across the woods. Screams and howls, as well as other animal noises, begun to reach our ears.

I kept watch while the other two built more of the raft; Then, extremely disturbing noises reached our ears, just as the blackness hit the edge of the woods. Agonized screams rang out. Crying and thumps began. Then, suddenly, we began hearing thuds. Drums. They were far away in the jungle when we first heard them, but they are getting closer and closer. The note mentioned dru-. I think it must have meant drums. We must get off the island; the drums are now past our last campsite. The raft is almost finished. The drums are coming; they’re speeding up. They’re almost out of the woods. They’re out of the

This is the last journal entry. The rest of the pages are blank.

The Smooth, Black Stone

At the edge of the Pacific ocean, on some abandoned beach in the tropics, there is a large, smooth rock that sits just beyond the reach of the highest tides.

It is not cracked or marked in any way, and the smooth black stone reflects even the faintest of light. It’s curved and formed in just such a way that if you are very careful, you can climb on top of it from the side, and stand on a flat area at the top.

If you stand on the rock when the moon is full and shining, and the water is at its highest point, you can see something in the sea below you. A faint shimmer of light, a flash of something you can’t quite identify. It gets brighter, easier to see as you kneel down and lean closer, over the edge of the rock.

Once you are leaning out further than would probably be safe, your left leg will slip on the slippery stone, and you will fall forward into the light. There is no splash, no sound; you simply disappear into the ocean.

No one knows what happens after you disappear. But there are some who claim to have fallen off the same rock, what seems like a lifetime ago.

According to the earthly calendar, they were gone for one day, then washed up on another beach, sometimes half a world away. But their eyes are hardened, and they rarely speak anymore, only occasionally muttering of fiery paths and gibbering demons.

The Abandoned Convenience Store

Get on any passenger bus that travels a long distance; Greyhound is usually a good pick. Anything that’s on the road for longer than 24 hours.

Get a window seat facing west, then stare at the sun, waiting until sunset. Just before the sun touches the horizon, close your eyes. Hard. Do not turn away, don’t look at anything else. Cover your ears if you have to.

After a while, you’ll notice that the bus has stopped moving. That’s the signal that you can open your eyes. When you do, you’ll see a gas station, illuminated only by a few flickering flourescent lights. There will be no sun, no moon, no stars in the sky. The convenience store will have its windows boarded up, but the sign will say ‘Open.’

If you feel you can’t go through with it, get back on the bus, return to your seat, and fall asleep. You’ll wake up at sunrise the next day, well on your way to wherever the bus was going.

If you enter the store, the door will slam shut behind you. You will spend an unknown amount of time there, living out your worst nightmares made real.

If you survive the ordeal without going mad, you will awake back on the bus, as it reaches its destination. Nothing will ever scare you again. Some say that after this ordeal, anything else simply pales in comparison.

Others say that all that room contains, is all the fear you will ever feel in your entire life, and exposing yourself to it all at once keeps you from feeling any more.

This, however, can only be done once. There are some exceptions to the ability, as well…

The Static

If you are watching television, and the signal cuts out to static, turn the TV off immediately.

If you watch the static on TV for long enough, the static will suddenly pause. All sound in the room will cease; even the white noise of the TV itself will disappear. If this happens you must not look away from the screen.

You will probably not notice at the time, before you lose your gaze on the TV, your body will freeze as well. Time around and with you have paused completely. Specks of the black and white dots slowly come to life, creeping slowly in seemingly random directions. Not static as you know it, but organizing themselves into a moving picture again in front of you.

As the static returns to normal, and the white noise of the TV comes back, you will regain control of your body. You must never watch that television again. It will only play static, even when unplugged.

If you watch the static any longer, these same events will reoccur, but with disastrous results. What exactly happens is unknown, as it is obvious that anyone that has been unfortunate enough to experience this has disappeared.

It is rumoured that if one continues to watch the static again, or during their experience, looks away, the white and black specs will slowly start to move again, but you will not. Your eyes will then be permanently fixated on the screen as you watch the picture come back to life, and what seems to be your station’s signal return.

You learn soon this is not the case, as all sound is still absent, and the picture on the TV shows a familiar surrounding: the room in which you sit. The only thing you see next is movement on the TV, as you see yourself from behind, and subsequently, the cause of your disappearance.

The Soft Places

There is a special word in each holy book of all the great religions; The Koran, The New Testament, The Torah, The Bhagavad Gita; and nine other forgotten books spoke of in the Dead Sea Scrolls.

If all these words can be collected and spoken backwards in their native tongue, then you will vanish to Elysia, the most beautiful of the heavens.

You can stay forever, or return to Earth.

If you stay too long, you will forget your life, but if you leave, you will have to kill a child at each full moon to survive.

However, while you live you will have untold power over the secrets of the Earth.

You will also know the location of “The Soft Places”, the lands between dreams and waking.

I'm Your Problem Now

On any night with a crescent moon, open Winamp or any other music program you might have on your computer that has a shuffle program. Empty your mind and keep clicking the forward button. If you’re rather unlucky a song named “I’m your problem now.mp3? will start playing. For the first minute it will be completely silent.

Close your eyes when the screams start and DO NOT OPEN THEM FOR ANY REASON. Horrible imagery will fill your mind, of corpses and unimaginable evil. This will happen as a full seven minutes of this song’s horrible symphony of screams and sounds continues.

IF you make it through those torturous seven minutes, you will wake up on a bench in a deserted greyhound station. A faceless man at the other end of the station will offer you a cigarette. If you don’t accept it, your eyes will open and the song will be gone and no time will have past. If you choose to accept it, however, this man will divulge to you the secrets of life.

After you’re done smoking, take the ticket out of his pocket and board the bus coming into the station. You will awake back in your house, and exactly twelve minutes will have passed since you started listening. The problem is that anyone who’s survived the song goes insane from the information they’ve just learned.

Be warned, should you succeed; through any polished surface–be it mirror, wood, or window–your reflection will always be watching.

The Mail Box

There’s a mail box somewhere in the city which can solve your direst problems.

Which city? That depends on who you ask. There may even be more than one, who knows? Anyway, this mail box isn’t emptied anymore – the mail service has completely forgotten about it. But it clings on. It is located in some relatively unlikely place so you won’t spot it immediately. Mail you put inside it won’t go anywhere.

But the box is special. Write a letter about your most pressing problems to the persons in charge of dealing with it: write to your significant other, your boss, the IRS, and get it all off your chest. Ride yourself into deep shit with that letter. You’ll see that the problem will dissolve soon, in some way you hadn’t thought likely.

The snag of course is that you can’t really be sure whether you have found the right mail box until you try it. And if you haven’t things are going to get much worse once your letter gets delivered…

The Dark Grove

There exists a small circle of trees somewhere in the Rocky Mountains, completely unremarkable from the outside, but just inside no sun or star ever shines.

Rumor has it that anyone that can spend three pitch black days and nights within the grove without going mad will be greeted with the queer sight of the sun rising in the west on the beginning of the forth day, filling the grove with radiant light.

One wish may be made before this sun, and it shall be fulfilled.

However, once that person makes the wish, the world outside the grove shall forever be as dark for them as it had been inside for those three days.

The Devil's Circle

There exists a spot in all forests, called “The Devil’s Circle” which is ubiquitous and yet nowhere at the same time.

You may find it one day, for it to be gone the next. The spot is nothing more than a circle of evenly spaced stones, however, nothing lives inside of these stones-it is just barren dirt.

During the day, it’s OK to touch it, and even stand within the circle. If you plant something in it, the next day it will be dead.

The real secret to the circle is if you put someone’s hair within it. Then the next day, they will die. Perhaps they die mysteriously in their sleep, or maybe even a car accident.

However, in doing so, you give up your soul to the devil.

You ask yourself now “Is this true?”, but the more important question you must ask is, “Is it worth it?”

The Abandoned Train Station

There is a chance that while on a railway journey across country you will pass a darkened station, the platform will look as if it has been deserted for years. The train will have to slow down due to the condition of the tracks but it will not stop. There are some conductors who will go much faster than they should just to get past the station causing the train to feel as if it will shake apart.

If you ask one of the personnel on the train about the station they will tell you not to worry about it and to go back to your seat. If you ask a second time you and all your things will be unceremoniously dumped at the next station whether it is your destination or not. There you can wait for as much as a day for another train to come by.

There have been a few curious folks who have made the five mile long walk down alongside the tracks to see this abandoned station for themselves. No one knows what happens when they get there. Some are never seen or heard from again and others jump onto the tracks in the path of the next oncoming train.

The only thing of any interest ever to happen along those tracks was back in the early 1900’s when a train headed west derailed near that abandoned station killing sixty one people on board and injuring others. The incident was blamed on Conductor error and on the fact the rails were misaligned due to shifting of the ground after a heavy rain storm.

There is no known connection between the derailment over one hundred years ago and the events that surround the area today.

Childhood Superstitions

When I was 8, I stayed up late at night watching television.

My mother always told me never to turn on the television exactly at 4:44 am.

If you ever did, you would hear clicks and heavy breathing in the next room; If you do check, a black shadow with red eyes will glare at you.

They also told me if I wore another person’s glasses, I will see that person’s death.

It’s true.

I put on my mother’s glasses, and since then I’ve always been a little fearful of my father.

The Wal-Mart Prophet

There is a Wal-Mart somewhere in Indiana, with a concealed trapdoor in the frozen food section.

If you tap on the door three times with your left foot, a voice will ask you for a toll.

Open the trap door, put three lemons inside, and close the door.

After ten seconds, you will hear a knock on the trapdoor and find a red piece of paper that tells you two of the following three things: the exact location of your death, the manner of your death, or the exact date and time of your death.

The Antartic Bar

At the bottom of a 50-meter high glacier, exactly two kilometers from Antarctica, lies the frozen remains of a long-forgotten civilization.

The exact location of the glacier is unknown, only that it is two kilometers from the shore of Antarctica. Upon finding said glacier, one is to approach it on the snowbank and touch the side of the ice with the palm of their hand.

The important thing here is to touch it with your bare skin. If you hold your hand on the ice for 5 minutes then speak the words, “I see and believe.” you will seemingly disappear from existence, your whole life erased from memory and transcripts.

What happens next, you are in a rather swanky 80s cocktail bar, but there are a few stipulations: You must live the next 50 years in this bar; you are granted 5 free drinks from the bartender, no more.

If you attempt to break the quota of drinks, you are immediately executed on the spot by the rather brawny bouncers.

If you manage to wait the whole 50 years, you will reappear in your original life, and granted one single wish, which you must take immediately on your return.

Needless to say, very few have actually waited the 50 years.

The Tracing

Next time when you’re lying in bed and the moon is new, when you’re at the moment where you’re almost asleep and your eyes are closed…try listening for the sounds. More specifically, sounds that shouldn’t exist in our realm. At this point, you’ll notice the world around you change, but don’t you dare open your eyes or make any movements.

If you lay right where you are, with your eyes closed, you’ll feel something trace a finger, a claw, or perhaps something even worse, across your forehead. The moment it stops tracing, you’ll wake up and it will be morning. Within that new week, you will die.

However, depending on what was traced on your head, you’ll either enter a paradise of a world, or you’ll enter an evil world of torture.

So…do you want to find out what’s on the other side?

Survival Guide

We’ve all been there. You have just gone to a certain place, at a certain time on a certain date, done a special thing and the thing you suspected would happen has just fucking happened, not to mention the fact that you’ve just seen whatever the fuck it is that lives in your mirror, been told in detail how you’re going to die, and the highly demonic and invincible thing you summoned is heading towards you.

Also, your family are all dead, your friends are all missing and you’re being framed by someone with access to your bedroom. What the fuck do you do now, sweet protagonist?

Well, you’ve come to the right place to find out: These are the simple rules one must follow in order to firstly, not become the victim of creepypasta and furthermore, to come out kicking if the worst does happen. With the help of this guide you too can be the catatonic, traumatised wreck as opposed to the guy currently being worn as a coat by some dude who roams a lot. Just keep these simple rules in mind…

1. Mirrors and darkness don’t mix.
2. Actually mirrors are a general “NO”, in creepypasta world, there is nothing more sinister.
3. There is zero chance of survival if you look the thing that no one else can see or answer it’s question incorrectly.
4. If you are alone at night in a creepy mental institution,take some time to consider what the fuck are you doing there, then, if it is appropriate to do so, leave.
5. Avoid going to places where everyone else who went there never came back or died inexplicably.
6. If someone stops your vehicle at night and asks to come with you, it would probably be in your best interests to politely decline.
7. Killing is the last method of survival, use it sparingly but without fear.
8. WHO WAS PHONE is always a good thing to ponder. Also who the hell answers a phone while kissing a dead persons sexy daughter. A douche is who.
9. Get a simple .38 revolver. Load it with 2 silver bullets. If you really feel there is no chance to come alive out of a situation, take one shot at whatever’s threatening you. If this doesn’t work, you still have the last shot to become an hero with.
10. Area 51 is simply too well guarded to let you get in. Or to let any alien out.
11. When going to a hotel, try to steer clear of unauthorized areas. If you couldn’t resist but you saw a red thing, take some time to consider the price range and hotel standard on your next visit. Have you ever stayed at a haunted Hilton?
12. When booking your hotel stay, Trip Advisor can be an invaluable tool in deeming whether your choice is the scene of a multiple murder/full of dead people/built at the mouth of hell. Local newspapers can also be helpful.
13. Invoking demons, speaking weird languages and performing rituals of any kind is considered dangerous. Refrain from doing that, especially around Abandoned Warehouses, Churches, Psychiatric Institutions, Forests and your house in front of a mirror at night.
14. When going to a new area, environmental understanding is a key to survival. Ask around for cursed places, legends, dangers and other details. Listen to the local peoples’ advice, and don’t be afraid to ask if you’re unsure of which attacks/disappearances are paranormal and which aren’t.
15. Always have a Bible next to your bed. Provides average reading material, proof of beliefs and a really heavy object to throw at enemies.
16. Don’t count on Holy Water. Get a sturdy vial of Sulfuric Acid and let a priest Consecrate it.
17. Japanese priests cleanse rooms by waving katana swords around. Their ritual is 100% effective on corporeal forms.
18. If you find 666 messages on your phone, mailbox, email, etc consider changing the said service provider. Also don’t bother listening /reading the messages. It’s spam. Extra dimensional, possibly, but spam nevertheless.
19. Old pharmaceutical companies cant help you. Unless you specifically need “Blood Of The Innocent”, ”Snake Oil”, and “Radioactive Syrup”. Which is never.
20. If you need to sign it in blood, you do not need to sign it. All mainstream governing bodies will accept contracts signed in ink, bear this in mind if offered deals that seem too good to be true.
21. Lighthouses are dangerous. Avoid them at all costs. If you work at a Lighthouse consider a career in Insurance Sales, or Veterinary Care.
22. There is simply no reason to listen to music that causes suicidal tendencies, or to watch films that have had strange/disastrous consequences..
23. If you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in Bel-Air. Nothing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.
24. Secret secluded untouched places in old buildings are left untouched for a reason. Pioneers never say “die” but in fact they do have an unusually high mortality rate.
25. Before you start swimming in the ice-cold waters of a murky lake at the center of a dark forest at midnight, ask yourself, do you really want to travel to an ancient and terrifying city? If the answer is “no,” then stay at home instead, and watch whatever quality programming is available on Cinemax.
26. On your 33rd birthday try celebrating in a well lit house with the company of others.
27. Refrain from using the One True Name for anything, there is probably a reason people gave it a nick.
28. Watching TV static for long periods may be hazardous to your health, try satelite TV to combat this problem.
29. Get a cat. Those furry little hairballs seem to perceive unnatural phenomena better than us, and if desperate, simply throw it at whatever is about to get you.
30. Cemeteries are bad places, especially in foggy conditions and on halloween.
31. Try not to close your eyes, ever. If you must, do so only briefly.
32. If you hear chanting, run until you are out of earshot.
33. If you are too old to play with dolls, you do not need to be anywhere near one of the creepy little fuckers.
34. Legends can offer valuable insight of where not to go camping with friends.
35. When babysitting, ascertain the family’s tastes and preferences, to avoid being killed by poorly selected statues.
36. Even if you are certain that running will not save you, it is always best to try.

Follow these simple rules and little (or massive) harm may befall you. Either way, the important thing is to make sure your tale is told, copied, and pasted repeatedly.

Scribblings in the Well

These bizarre instructions were found etched into the wall at the bottom of an old well, somewhere in rural Germany. They have been translated to the best of my abilities:

Somewhere in Europe, there is an empty field of grass. Amongst the long, unkempt grass is a wooden hatch in the ground. The hatch guards an old storm shelter, but this is not your destination. In order to gain access to the alternate opening, you must spill your own blood over the doors. You will awaken at the edge of field; the doors will now be made of rusted iron. You may now enter the hatch.

There will be a long, narrow shaft stretching deep into empty darkness. You must climb down a ladder fixed to the northern wall, keeping your eyes upward at the opening.

If you are to glance downward into the darkness, then return your gaze upward, you will find yourself ten rungs away from where you started. If you look any longer downward, the echoing sound of someone climbing up the ladder will reach your ears, and a rotten, weather-beaten version of yourself will pull at your legs until you fall.

After an undetermined amount of time climbing down; your feet will reach a floor. Keep facing upwards, if you look at your feet; there will be no floor. You must now choose your path.

LEFT

Reaching into the darkness to your left, you will feel a cold metal plate mounted on a concrete wall. Keep your hand on this plate, within the course of ten minutes it will rise to an excruciating heat and your hand will be burned. Do not remove your hand until the plate cools once again and lights click on. You may now turn around.

You will find yourself in a long corridor, there will be a door corresponding to each year of your life on both sides. At the opposite wall will be a door marked ‘PRESENT’. If you enter this door, you will find yourself ahead in your life to three minutes before your death. You must find the door marked with the year that you found most fortunate. Should you pick the wrong door, you will relive that year, but every space in which you did not stand will be torn away to reveal fire beneath. When the year finishes, you will be back at the door, as if you had not opened it.

If you are to pick the correct year, you will enter an enormous space of undetermined size. Darkness will surround all but a straight line through the room. The door behind you will cease to be there if you check behind you. You must follow the lit path through this area for one hundred minutes. Along the way you will regularly encounter loved ones, trapped in rusted metal torture devices. They will beg and scream for you to help them. You must ignore their pleas and keep moving. If you help even one of these people; the exit door will vanish and never reappear.

Should you reach the end of this area, there will be a scratched door with your name engraved upon it. Enter this door and you will awaken in the storm cellar, the original form of this place. You may now leave.

RIGHT

Reaching to the wall on your right will yield different results. You will feel a warm, moist wall of soft flesh. Keep feeling around until you feel a hole in the wall, plunge your hand into it. After thirty seconds, you will be bitten and blood removed from your wound. Keep your hand there until the pressure stops. Your eyes will suddenly adjust to light you never noticed before, you may turn around.

You will see a long corridor paved with pulsing skin, flesh and muscle. On both sides of this corridor, you should see torn openings that stretch inwards deeply. Cool air will gently flow from each opening rhythmically as if it is breathing. At the end of the hallway, you will see a door marked with your mother’s name, awkwardly incorporated into the wall of flesh.

Never enter this door.

You must look for the opening from which hot air is breathed. If you enter the wrong opening, the tunnel will never end and you cannot return.

Should you enter the correct opening; the tunnel will become gradually wider and more humid. There will be hands pushing through from both sides, stretching the wall trying to reach you. Keep away from them, and do not turn around. Every so often you will find an ideal sex partner, sitting in the centre of the tunnel. They will beg you to stay with them, ignore them. If you stay with them, they will devour you from the waist up.

After one hundred minutes in this place, you will reach a hole leading to a far narrower tunnel, enter this hole and crawl as fast as you can. The hands can now reach you and will caress you gently from behind the thin flesh. If you stop, they will drag you down.

As you progress the light will gradually fade and your heartbeat will become louder until it reaches an almost deafening volume. Open your eyes; you will be lying in the foetal position on the floor of the storm shelter. You may now leave.

If you chose the left path; you will receive complete financial security until you die, but your hand will throb painfully once a day.

If you chose the right path; you will be considered popular and charismatic by everyone you meet, but you will be plagued by nightmares of the tunnel.

If you attempt this ritual twice, you will never awaken from those nightmares.

Sever the Cord

Many have speculated that the plane in which we live is not the only plane in existence. Those who say this will usually then go on to ponder realms of mystery and wonder. The truth is, there is a second plane, but it is not filled with the euphoric images that most people conjure up. However, it is not filled with horrors, either, rather, it is a perfect emulation of our world. There is no difference at all. Whatever exists in our plane also exists on the Second Plane. Even you exist on the Second Plane. In fact, those “copies” of ourselves, those extra-dimensional clones, are bonded to us. Whatever action we take, they take, and vice versa. That means that, in the other plane, that other you is reading this right now.

In this Second Plane, there is only one difference. A God resides there, though some may call him a Devil, watching over the mirrors of those in Our Realm. This God has no mirror. He resides only in the Second Plane. Our “Copies” cannot see him, either, for unknown reasons. But he can see them. He knows what they are doing. Therefore, he knows what YOU are doing. There is only one way to escape this constant watching, but it could come at a terrible price.

Stand before a mirror. You see your reflection? That is your Copy. Look him straight in the eye, and will with all of your might that what you see before you is not YOU; rather, it is a perfect emulation of you. As soon as you have made this mental breakthrough, turn off the lights. Wait a while, about two minutes should do. Then, turn them back on. Your reflection will be gone. You have just severed the bond between you and your Copy. You can no longer see him, but he exists. Now, however, you will be free to do as you please, without your Copy mirroring it, and without the God knowing what you are doing. You could murder a thousand people, and walk without fear of retribution.

However, it is not recommended that you do this. As you sever the bond, the same decay that effected the bond will eat slowly up the remnants of one side of the “cord”. As it reaches whichever you was on that particular side, it will begin to eat away at its soul. Whichever version of you is effected will become sicklier, paler. It will stink of death, its movements will become stiff. As it nears the final stages of this illness, it will become merely a shadow of itself.

It becomes a ghost. Cursed to forever roam whatever existence it resides in, a shattered soul and lost cause. However, if it is not you that is affected by this illness, but your Copy, you will walk free. You will walk without judgment. You will be a God among men.

But be careful, for if that disease eats up your side of the cord, you will fall prey to its effects.

Trust me. I know.

The Witches Tunnel

Close to where I live there is a forest, which holds a dark secret; The Witches Tunnel, a cluster of trees that have intertwined, clasping hands with each other to form a dark passage. It is said deep within the forest lives an old witch with eternal knowledge.

Walking through during the day is unsettling, a walk through this tunnel at midnight in the dead of winter when the moon is full is a different experience entirely. The branches will twist and sway as if trying to grab you and you’d swear they were alive. There will be no sound except the wind whispering in your ear, telling you to turn back. What looks like a distance of a few feet will take you nearly an hour to travel, if you turn round the entrance will be barely visible, a mere speck. Turning back now, however, would be a very bad idea, you must keep walking.

Eventually you will come out the other end, only this won’t be the same forest as it is in the day. The moon will be so big you could almost touch it and where its light manages to pierce through the dense foliage you’ll see the ground is alive with insects, one big crawling mass. Grotesque, mocking shadows will surround you in a thick blanket of fear.

As you continue, the path will split in two. Look for a crow in the the trees, she will indicate which path to take and serve as your guide. If you ignore her and take the other path, you will be doomed to walk it for eternity as punishment for your insolence. The correct path leads to a break in the trees overlooking a small lake, thick with fog. Remain here until the fog clears, then walk to the shore. Glancing at the deep black water you will see yourself reflected, only many years older. If you see nothing, you have already failed. You may ask your future self one question and it will answer truthfully. Ask wisely however, some things you are not supposed to know.

When you have your answer turn round and you will see the crow has reappeared, only now in her true form, a sunken-faced old hag propped up by a gnarled branch. She will turn and begin walking and you must follow her, a few yards behind. Be careful not to lose sight of her as you will become lost in these forbidden woods forever. She will stop beneath the tallest tree in the forest and her boney finger will beckon you over. Approach her, but do not look her in the face, lest what you see behind those ageless eyes drives you insane. In return for letting you into her wise woods, she will ask a favour of you. This could be anything, from reading a certain book to committing a murder. Promise her this favour and she will lead you out of the forest.

Upon leaving the forest return home immediately and go straight to bed. The next day, rise at dawn and return the witches favour. If you do not do so within twenty-four hours she will return to you that night. She won’t kill you herself, that would be too easy. No, she will whisper in your ear whilst you sleep, invading your dreams and filling your subconscious with dark suggestions. You will create your own death, tearing yourself apart both mentally and literally.

The witch does not forgive.

Credited to Nathan.

The Murder of Innocence

You awake at a crossroads.

You have no idea how you got there or how long you have slept.

There are five signposted directions to take: Life, Death, Fortune, Fate and Destiny. As counter-intuitive as it may seem, you must, MUST, take the road to Death first.

When you arrive at your destination after hours of walking (which was strangely untaxing on your legs) you find a house with boarded-up windows and a large, black portal with an ornate ivory door-knocker.

Using the knocker will cause a wooden hand to form out of the wordwork of the door, and into this hand you must place the Ivory Key you found earlier.

Wait, I did mention the key, right? It’s sort of vital to continue.

Oh hell, wait a minute, I skipped ahead in the walkthrough. I must’ve tapped PgDwn or something. Hang on..

Okay, did you get past the minotaur yet? By tricking it into walking into the fire pits using the red scarf? Did I tell you to take the Death path first?

Okay, wait, no.. no, this is.. ah, right, no, go down the “Fate” path first. There’s a gemstone down there that opens a portcullis in the Destiny path. Man, I’ve been going about this all backwards. Let’s start over:

You awake at a crossroads.

Since you’ve read the Magician’s Journal, you already know that the Teleportation Ritual has deposited you here as a test to claim your rightful place as King of Etheria.

Wait, this is for the second playthrough, oh goddammit. Here, just bring up the console and type “isuckatcreepypastamakemeaspellmaster” to unlock all the spells. Then just fireball everything until you win. You win when everything is on fire. Hooray!

And then you die. Of, uh, I don’t know, SIDS. That’ll teach you to get trapped in one of these stories.

Incense

I heard stories of this ritual happening throughout the Internet and decided to try it for myself since the tasks are not hard to do and the payout is worth the trouble. The materials to complete this task will cost around 10-15 dollars, which can be earned from working any sort of job. I’ll save the reward for the end because the sacrifice will go along with it, and telling you now might deject you from attempting this ritual, but I assure you that it is well worth it. Failure to either complete this ritual or doing a step wrong will not harbor any sort of consequence short of losing 10-15 dollars of regular money depending on how far you get through the process. The only time limit is that the shop will only be open between 9 at night and 6 in the morning.

The first thing you will want to do is find the small incense shop that will sell you the materials. The shop will be present in any sort of city, or so I’m told. As of now, the cities that definitely have the stores are Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago, Miami, Seattle, Washington D.C., San Antonio, and Salt Lake City. If you find one in your city and it’s not listed above, you may retell this story and include your city, but only if you want to, if not, whatever. The shop will not be attached to any other store and will be located in the outskirts of the city. It will not have any sort of neon sign and will not advertise at all. You can tell if you’ve found the correct place if it has one of three marking near the entrance. It’ll either have a) a red door with a gold eye painted on it b) A small wooden plank with an eagle on it with a golden eye painted onto said eagle or c) a welcome mat with the eagle mentioned above painted on it. The eagle means nothing, but the eye is supposed to signify a calm mind. When you’ve found the place, merely enter the shop. There is no special knock, password, or any other fancy shenanigans. It was pretty nice actually, considering the fancy antics that you have to do with most of the other rituals.

Upon entering the shop, you’ll notice the faint smell of aroma. There will be no music playing, though you may hear other costumers in the shop. It you do hear other costumers, leave the shop and come back the next day. You’ll approach the counter and ring the bell. An intimidating black man will come out of the black room and ask you what you want. You’ll tell him that you want three distinct kinds of incense in a commanding voice and lay a five-dollar bill on the table. You must specifically ask for “Satya Sai Baba Nag Champa Agarbatti”, “Satya Super Hit”, and “Sri Sai Flora”. He’ll go into the back room and retrieve the incense. When he returns, he’ll take your five dollar bill and ask if that’d be all for you. You’ll tell him no and slap another five dollars on the table. You’ll then ask for an incense box to go along with your incense. He’ll go into the back room once again and retrieve a normal wooden incense box, which will be about two feet long, and have holes cut into the top. There may be a pattern near the bottom of the box, but that is unimportant. Inspect the box. If it is in perfect condition, place it back on the table and ask for another one, but take your five-dollar bill back and slap a ten down. He’ll take your ten and take the box back into the back room. He’ll come back out with another box. This box will have a broken hinge, but will still open and close. You are to tell the man that this box is perfect, collect your things, and leave immediately. There have been records that the man will give you the broken box first and you’d end up saving $5, but it didn’t for me, just fork over the other five and don’t complain (I’m serious…DON’T COMPLAIN).

You may fix the hinge if you want, but it won’t be important. What you’ll then do is drive back home and set your incense up in a dark quiet place. You are to burn one stick of incense from whichever box you chose, but it must only be ONE. Not one from each, ONE. What this does is calm you down for the next step. When the ONE incense stick is done burning, (I’m stressing the ONE rule because those that have burned two or more did not complete the ritual correctly and were out their 10-15 bucks) you are to inspect the box. On the side of the box there will be a small sliver of wood that swings out, revealing a secret compartment of the box. There will be an extra packet of incense sticks in that compartment. These sticks will be black and have a red handle, you are to burn one of these next. Don’t worry about having to burn two; one will get the job done. While you are burning one of these incense sticks, you’ll notice that the smell is anything but appetizing. It smells like rotting meat to me. You are to close your eyes and bear through the smell. When the stick is done burning, which might take 5 minutes, you are to open your eyes. You’ll find yourself back in the shop, but in the back room. The man will meet you here sitting in whatever chair, or position, you were sitting in. He’ll show you one of two things. The first is a small glass of liquid. This liquid is an elixir that allows your mind to never feel stress again. Your judgment will never be clouded, you will never be angry, and you will always feel kindness coming from everyone. Your fight or flight sense will still be present, but it will be quicker. You will feel calm and blissful for as long as you live. The other will be a small book. This book will hold the secrets to everything. It will have the answers to why humans are here, the afterlife and every other controversy will be immediately revealed to you upon reading the contents of the book. You will literally know everything. After picking the item you want, you are to close your eyes again and wait ten seconds. You will open your eyes again in your living space with the faint smell of incense lingering in the atmosphere, but whichever item you chose will still be in your hand.

Here’s the catch.

If you chose the elixir: Everything you encounter will feel like it’s lasting twice as long as before. Your mind will not feel anger, but it will feel boredom. Your hour and a half classes will feel like 3. 60 minutes will now take 2 hours. The upside, as mentioned above, will always be that you have inner peace, but activities that you find boringly unbearable will feel like they last forever. It’s somewhat contradicting, if you think about it, but it will only be those activities that you find boring. Anything you find painful or even enjoyable will feel like ecstasy. One thing you should remember, however, is that the normal rules of physics still apply. So while the flame may feel like a massage in your mind, you’ll still end up with 2nd or third degree burns if left unattended.

If you chose the book: You’ll know EVERYTHING, but will forever be unable to tell anyone. Anyone else will see the book as nothing more than a blank template and you’ll find yourself unable to speak if you try verbally telling anyone of the books content. You’ll know who killed Kennedy, but you alone. You’ll know if we really landed on the moon, but will be unable to type it out on your computer. You’ll know if your best friends girlfriend really cheated on him and whether or not she really did contract Herpes in the process or not, but will be at a loss of words when the conversation comes up…

I chose the book, if it’s any consolation. It’s intriguing to know all of these facts. I know which religion to pick, how to live my life and even who killed Kennedy. It sucks that I can’t tell you though. You’d shit brix if I told you, but whenever I try, my fingers burn at the touch of the keys. I should know; I’ve tried it twice within the last 10 minutes. I can’t even give you subtle hints. I know why, but telling you THAT would also reveal secrets of the book. And that girlfriend reference came from a true story. My best friend won’t even talk to me since I froze when he asked me about his girlfriend. When I tried to tell him, my throat ran dry and I had to run for water, but my throat just dried right back up again when I tried to tell him the truth again. I lied to him and said no…but then he found out the truth and thinks that I was the one that cheated with her. I tell him otherwise, but he doesn’t believe me… I’m thinking I should’ve chosen the elixir.

Credited to lolol.

The Breadbox

Down around fourteenth and ninth, there’s an alley between a parkade and a small office building. Unlike many downtown alleys, this one is clear of parking and transients. In fact, there never seems to be anyone in it at all. There’s never a car cutting through to avoid traffic, never any teenagers looking for somewhere quiet. Despite the presence of loading docks and parking spaces, it’s as desolate as downtown can be.

If you walk down this alley in the winter, you’ll smell rotting meat coming from a dumpster and hear sounds emenating from it that sound like rats. But if you look inside the dumpster, you’ll find that it’s empty other than a plain tin bread box. The bread box will, despite being of a kind not manufactured for decades, be in mint condition.

If you open the box, which you should never do under any circumstances, you will discover that it contains your own severed head. Your head will tell you two secrets and a lie, and then expire.

The Eye

It’s late. You shouldn’t be up like this, you know.

It’s not healthy, surrounding yourself in utter darkness, with nothing but a dull monitor to illuminate your surroundings, utterly defenseless. Your internal conscious could already be laughing at me. You could be thinking to yourself that you are entirely aware of where this is going. Well, it’s your funeral.

I’m here to warn you. In precisely four minutes and thirteen seconds, something will catch the corner of your eye. You’ll turn your head sharply, attempting to focus your vision. Your cat will slink past, wryly waving its tail. Your relief will overcome you, as you gently welcome your feline companion into your lap. In exhaustion, the poor animal will collapse, a purr of contentment filling the air.

As you continue perusing the internet, you will notice something strange about your pet. You look down, to notice a note has been tucked into its collar. It’s blank. You question this, but return to the internet. Your cat shivers, stretches, and jumps from your lap, scurrying off. The note, which you’ve conveniently placed next to your computer, begins to bleed with dark ink. You open the crumpled paper, holding it to the light of the monitor. It’s then that an illustration of an eye will appear.

It’s then you realize that you don’t own a cat.

Now, this is retribution. If you have any hope of saving yourself, find a scrap of paper. Draw the eye.

Turn off your monitor. Surround yourself by darkness. Don’t you dare close your eyes. Blink, and this will all be for naught. You will be dead before you even felt your eyes close.

Kneel. Fold the illustration, and place it within arms reach of you. By now, you should feel it on you. The eye will be watching. It will choke your breath. You must try. Utter the following: “I can see you.”

Drop the illustration, and return to your computer.

I’m sorry to say, the watchful eye will never cease. You will always feel it. It’s watching you now.

Nice shirt.