Secret of Cartoons: King of the Hill Lost Episode

(WARNING: Unless you have seen the OFFICIAL first episode of King of the Hill, this may be difficult to understand).

We all know about the 1997 series "King of the Hill". It is still airing on Cartoon Network's "Adult Swim" block, but I encountered something dark with this series sometime in late 2007. I was in a goodwill store to buy some N64 games because that store normally had a good stock of Retro Games, but I strolled over to the VHS section in the back, just then remembering I owned a VCR. One of the first things I saw was the Titanic VHS tapes, the one that came in 2 tapes but it was in one dust cover, and I thought that it would be a good movie for me and the wife because she had never seen it before. To ensure that the tapes would be functional, I took one of the tapes out of the dual VHS dust cover and saw something unexpected. It was a VHS tape with a crooked sticker on it and written in sharpie (or magic marker) was "KOTH S1E1NR". I inspected the other tape and it said "KOTH S1E1NRP2", and assumed it was part 2. I didn't know why one 22-23 minute episode took 2 VHS tapes, but I was curious, so I bought the 2 tapes for $2.22.

When I got home, nobody was there but me, so I took up the painstaking process of uncoiling the stiff coax cables and the bulky VCR. I soon tuned the TV to channel 3 and began viewing KOTH S1E1NR. It had the regular opening of the first episode of King of the Hill, but without the music. It was just silent camera pans over the city of Arlen. It began like normal after that, with Bobby at the baseball game, and Hank yelling at him. As we all know, Bobby does not succeed. This is where everything started getting weird. On the ride home Hank, Peggy and Bobby are completely silent, and this goes on for about 3 minutes. No one is angry, no one had any expression actually. Immediately as the family pulls into the drive way, it immediately cuts to a scene inside the house, Hank is yelling at Bobby for not "giving the 110%", Hank then picks up the baseball and got in a throwing position. At this point the video quality was getting very scraggly and the volume level was raised roughly 10%. Hank afterward pegs the ball and it hits Bobby's nose. Peggy is seen in the background crying, and Hank tells her to "shut the hell up". Bobby immediately cups his nose and runs to the background, crying the whole way.

As Bobby is in the bathroom, the social worker comes to the door, Peggy greets him and Hank is sitting on the sofa, relaxing as if nothing happened. From this point the colors start to look more like the real episode, then the scene with Hank telling the social worker off plays as it does in the real episode. The scene from the officially aired episode abruptly cuts to another scene (this one not from the real episode). It is a scene with more scraggly video, but the audio remained the same. The scene depicted Peggy, sitting on the phone late at night, probably contacting Child Services talking about how Hank purposely threw the baseball at Bobby. Hank suddenly walked into the doorway and was in a bathrobe and had no glasses. He grabbed the phone and yelled "WHO THE HELL IS THIS?" The response was, "This is the department of Child Services". Hank suddenly turns red, and put the phone back on the wall. He grabs Peggy by the neck, and said "YOU GONNA GET MORE OF THOSE TWIG BOYS OVER HERE TO PUT ME IN PRISON AND TAKE MY BOY AWAY?!". It then cuts to Hank taking Peggy by the back of the neck down the hallway to the backyard, and Hank takes a propane tank off the grill, and shoves the valve into Peggy's mouth, and it then went silent for a minute, just a still picture of the propane valve in Peggy's mouth. When the scene starts moving again, Peggy's eyes are closed, and a voice is heard that says "Buck Strictland, forgive me for using Propane for this". The only problem is that when Hank says this, Hank doesn't even sound like Mike Judge (the creator of the show and the voice actor of Hank) it sounded like an older and deeper voice.

The screen went black after this, I then fast forwarded through the rest of the tape, to make sure there was no more content on it, there was none. I just thought, "Why so much wasted space?", and at this point I was really shaken up, so I went and grabbed a coffee. When I got back I popped in the second tape and it was just a black screen, I fast forwarded to check for content, and came across some stuff that was really starting to scare me. It was a funeral, but there was very few colors, just various forms of gray and black, and the color of their faces, and it just didn't seem like a real KOTH episode. The funeral was for Peggy, and attending it was all of the Hill's neighbors, including some acquaintances such as Cotton and John Redcorn, and even Hank was there, claiming Peggy had committed suicide. As Peggy's coffin is being lowered into the hole, it fades into an overhead view of it being lowered, and this part really scared the shit out of me, it was a semi-hyper-realistic image of Peggy in the coffin. The reason I say semi is because it looked real, but still appeared to be drawn, and not a real person, and was just a realistic cartoon. It then cuts to Bobby, Hank, and Ladybird sitting on a porch, with Bobby with a queasy face and Hank with one hand on the propane tank that he used to commit the murder. Bobby then asks in his humble voice, "Why...did you do it dad?". Hank then responds, he almost sounds like he is crying, and says "I don't know, son." He then gets up and walks inside, with Bobby and Ladybird still sitting on the porch.

It once again cuts to a very dull scene, with nothing but black, gray, and the skin colors. It is a scene that literally made me sick to my stomach. It was Hank, hanging from the ceiling, with a note pinned on him. It just stays focused on him swinging back and fourth for two minutes or so, then it cuts to the ending credits, with the normal outro and theme music. I was actually kind of laughing on the inside at the fact that the show was playing the regular ending credits, after all that stuff happened, but I was more confused and creeped out more. I went on some forums, but found nothing about this episode, but I came across someone on Yahoo Answers who had a similar occurrence as me, and got a similar tape at a thrift shop in John's Creek County in North Georgia, a place about 20 miles away from where I got mine. I managed to get on AIM with this person, but no answers.

I was really curious at this point, so I drove about 40 miles, and went right down to Cartoon Network/Turner Broadcasting HQ. I knew that Fox Broadcasting made the show, but I assumed Cartoon Network had every episode on record because they air them all. Beforehand I did some research and figured out who was in charge of broadcasting KOTH, so I found a receptionist in the studio and demanding to talk to him, but apparently I needed a guest pass of some sort. I was pissed at this point so I drove back home and put on my old Sheriff's Uniform (I was a sheriff for John's Creek County about three years ago). I went back, and although it is unlawful, I used my badge to talk to him. He was just sitting on a computer, and I walked up to him, threw the tapes on his desk and demanded answers, he dropped the phone that was in his hand, and grabbed the tapes.

I followed him to an office on the other side of the building, and there was a small safe in it, he opened it up, put the tapes in, and locked it. He then told me to leave, and I didn't want to act like a sheriff anymore because I didn't want to get in trouble with the law. I got home and flipped on the TV, Adult Swim was on and I was relieved to see a real episode of King of the Hill. To this day, there are only 2 copies of this episode, on 4 tapes, that I can find anything about on the internet, and one of them I assume is still locked up in Cartoon Network Studios. You may possibly come across more of them in thrift shops throughout the southeast.

Secret of Cartoons: Tom and Jerry - Suffering

Tom and Jerry is one of the most popular cartoon series to ever exist. Alongside Looney Tunes it is safe to say almost everyone has heard of the cast of Tom and Jerry - especially the titular cat and mouse duo which made the show what it is.

I've watched every Tom and Jerry cartoon imaginable, even a few most people probably never even heard about - there is one episode however not even I have seen, an episode that was never aired. Now I bet you're asking "Well then, how do you even know about this episode?".

The answer is quite simple, my cousin claims to have seen it due to links with online piracy and so forth (which I can not condone but, hey, I can't very well control the actions of my cousin can I?).

The following story is what my cousin told me and to be frank you can take from it what you will... maybe he was making it up or maybe there was some truth in it... at any rate it will likely raise a few eyebrows, it sure did when I told it to my friends...

It began, my cousin claims, one night when he was on the computer - one of his friends sent him a pirated version of a supposedly unaired Tom and Jerry episode named "Suffering": my cousin was skeptical of this and played it expecting a hoax.

Instead what he got was the traditional Tom and Jerry intro, which cut to a red screen with the text Suffering printed in bold.

The screen faded to show Tom sitting alone in what appeared to be an abandoned house, looking rather ill and dejected - he just sat there for a few minutes in silence before he got to his feet and slowly made his way over to a nearby wall.

Tom stared at the mouse hole in the wall for a few more minutes as the camera shifted, zooming into the mouse hole and revealing Jerry in his little matchbox "bed" - the camera zooming in on the mouse, who lay motionless with his eyes closed as if asleep.

Jerry's fur was lighter than usual and everything was silent - in stark contrast to the usual chaos of the cartoon.

The camera once again zoomed out to show Tom standing outside the mouse hole, the cat suddenly breaking down on the spot as he cried bitterly and fell to his knees: banging on the wall repeatedly.

The camera zoomed back to Jerry, still laying in the little match-box bed: Tom banging on the wall outside as Jerry remained absolutely still.

The scene then faded to black and a message appeared reading:

"Life is fleeting and it is not until it is gone that friends truly understand... years of arguing come to an end... petty squabbling... pointless suffering... now it is too late... you had your chance... you are alone..."

My cousin claims that's where it ended and he felt a deep sense of despair in his heart which he says never really went away, even today he claims to feel that same sense of despair - as if someone or something had taken away his sense of meaning.

I asked my cousin to show me the episode but he said he wouldn't want me to feel the way he did and refused, in some ways that made me kind of doubtful at first... though now, looking back, I feel he genuinely didn't want to share whatever he experienced with me...

The rest I shall leave for you to decide.

Love

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked.

“I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?”

He said : "I will give you your answer tomorrow….”

My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes….

"My dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..”

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

"You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…"

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

Secret of Cartoons: The Looney Tunes Show

The following entries were found from a journal of a guy who was nuked to death. His name is not mentioned to protect his identity.

June 4th, 2011 

As a kid, I loved the Looney Tunes, it was my favorite show. And hearing of the remake "The Looney Tunes Show", I didn't know what to think. It looked like the jokes were lame, the plots were rushed, and nothing like the original. The first episode I watched was a pretty good one, the one with Bugs and Lola. The next day, I was sent a message by a friend, who shared my interests. It was a link to a video, and the message said "Only a true fan can handle their twisted versions.". I didn't know what to think. As I got to the video, it was flagged. I said "OK.", and signed in. I noticed something odd, the views were only 6, so how could it of been inappropriate? Who knows.

When it got to the video, it was black for 5 seconds, then it cut to Bugs and Daffy's house. They were moving around, as if they were talking, but they said nothing, their mouths were not even moving. Then I noticed a anonymous mask in the window, it was emotionless. The sky was also black, representing night. They kept moving, simulating that they were speaking, and making gestures. Their was also a sound, like a reversed electric guitar note, and it kept playing throughout the whole thing. Then I saw two people, they were both white, female teenagers, who were gagged. Then I saw both of them shaking, as if they were laughing, then the two girls were set on fire, but they weren't cartoon looking, they were the real deal. Then they started shaking faster, as if they were sped up. Then it cut to bugs, who's mouth was gone. Then it cut to Daffy's face, and it was weird. If you have seen the end of suicide mouse, where Mickey's face was white, it was like that. He was also rocking his head forward, like he was head banging. Then it cut to Bugs, whom was covering his mouth, eyes were black, and his ears were drooped, and I mean impossibly, un-realistically drooped. Then I heard some piano music, it was odd though, it didn't seem as if it fitted, and it was just... off. Then Daffy, looked angry, as if his family had just been killed.

Then it cut to Bugs, who was now speaking, but he was still covering his mouth, which I saw green substance smearing around his hands, escaping, his eyes were now invisible, same deal with his ears. Then Daffy, was designed differently, his beak was gone, and replaced with a simple slap-on mouth, his eyes were also slanted, as if they were Asian. Then it cut to bug who was now shaking, violently. His face was gone, and it had a hint of red to it. The episode then had dialogue, but the video was replaced of a text. "If only you knew the power, that one human can be capable of." I did a small laugh, because this obviously had nothing to do with the show so far, then my speakers exploded with sound, even when I muted them, they were still making noise. Then the dialogue returned, but one flaw, it was reversed. So I recorded the video, reversed it, and this is what it said.

Bugs: Nobody realizes, that one man, can destroy the world.

Daffy: Humans are just to cowardly. All these nukes, all this power, and they just waste it.

Muffled Screaming*
Bugs: Do you think we should end these sad, pitiful lives?
Daffy: Of course!

Crackling*
Fire*
Bugs: And we were cartoon legends.
Daffy: Hah!

Screaming*
Both: *Laughing*

Then it ended. A notification popped up saying that the internet had to be closed. I then went back to history, everything was gone. My computer then shut off in like 2 seconds. Then it turned back on in 2 seconds. Every single thing on my computer, was gone. Then the floor started to rumble, it was a earthquake. Countless hours later, the news said that Kentucky was nuked... and I live in Florida. It is unknown who did it, but it was related to the video.

June 5th, 2011

Today I was just walking around town, finding that I had some change left, and since I was getting thirsty, i decided to get a drink. So I went to the nearest convience store and got a soda. The cashier was acting wierd. This is what he said, "Hey, what do you want?! A machete to kill that bitch that nuked Kentucky?!" Then he paused, and sighed, as if he was about ot say something else. During those seconds that felt like days, i was cherfully just breathing heavily, feeling scared, like I was out in the dark. Like, since when did they sell machetes at conveince stores? Then he spoke again, "Sorry, my brother was on vacation in Kentucky when it got nuked. He is dead." Well that is all I got to say for now, it is midnight, and I need to try to get some sleep.

June 8th, 2011

I wasn't able ot update my journal recently. I was too busy, when I found a VHS tape. It said, "The Looney Tunes Show, The Universe Ends Copyright 1999" 1999? What does that even mean? I then went to my friends house and took the VHS tape with me. he told me that the tape has the exact episode that I saw. He got me the e-mail of a friend of his aunts, which is the ceo at cartoon network studios. I will e-mail him tomorrow. Bye for now.

June 10th, 2011

I e-mailed the ceo. I will get to that later. It is about 4:56 in the morning. Anyways, I saw a mysterious gray figure murdering my friend. When I realized this by seeing a disembodied arm on my front yard getting my news paper. I couldn't believe it! When i caught the grey figure's gaze, it was so creepy. His eyes....are just dark hollow holes. He was holding up a bloody scalpel. He pointed to it with his big claw on his hand, and nodded, as if to tell me that I was next. I bolted away and just packed my things into my van and just abandoned my house to live in my van. I have all that I need in my van. Oh and about the e-mail, here is the exact e-mail word for word "Hey, ****, about that Looney Tunes show episode. That was the first episode made by a maniac that worked in the CN studios for 3 years. In '99, his final year, he suggested this show to us. After rejecting it two times, he made this violent episode. We actually burned the original copy, we have no idea of how your friend rediscovered it."

...................................................................................................................................................................

The guy, was found dead in his house just after ten days. Someone had apparently threw a pipe bomb at him and he was slit in the wrist eight times. His friend had also hung himself.

Secret of Cartoons: Courage the Cowardly Dog - Banned Episode

Yes, I am aware that every single episode of Courage the Cowardly dog is purposely disturbing but this episode was so messed up it was only aired once.

I don't remember the exact date, but it was at least five years ago I remember seeing an episode of Courage the Cowardly dog on cartoon network that was way too violent to be shown on kids programs.

The episode begins with Courage waking up, stretching then walking downstairs to find Eustace is sleeping on his chair, meanwhile Murial is cooking, Courage yawns then there's a knock on the door.

Its a mountain goat wearing a top hat and monocle, "Good' day fine dog, may I stay for a night, I require rest for my big day." Murial comes to the door but the goat comes in before anything is said.

Eustace has now awoken and is complaining at the goat, the goat simply says "Fuck you."

Which I was rather shocked about, I paused it for a second before listening again.

Courage is already suspicious as the goat goes upstairs into the bedroom, Courage follows him, and the goat starts chanting continuously then a axe appears on the floor and the goat picks it up then disappears, Courage does his usual scream then runs down stairs.

But when he reaches down stairs he looks out of the window to see that its night already, Murial and Eustace were now sleeping, then Courage grabs them by their hand and drags them into the cellar, then pulls out a giant lock, then locks and chains up the door.

A cockerel is heard and all of a sudden its morning, the goat suddenly appears behind Courage and says "Its my big day!"

Courage gulps and suddenly the goat starts chasing everyone with the axe, Eustace awakes and shouts "Fucking dog and goat."

Then he tries to kick the goat but the goat ends up chopping of his foot, Eustace falls down and lets just say, what the goat did was not pretty but it ended up chopping of Eustace's head!

Then the screen went static and the whole show stopped. I figured Cartoon Network had managed to stop it from being aired.

Secret of Cartoons: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Lost Episode

Has anyone heard of the alleged 'lost' Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode?

Its name was 'Dawn of the Dread' and was one of the early season two episodes. There's no official reference to it and evidence of its existence is quite scant, but accounts that can be found seem consistent in their detail.

Leonardo wakes up and looks around him before getting out of bed. The picture quality is quite poor and the animation is jittery. There is no background music and the only sound you can hear is a ticking clock. Leonardo then mutters something to himself, but his voice seems muffled and it's difficult to make out what he is saying.

Suddenly, a male voice can be heard in the background, though the voice isn't recognizable and doesn't seem to belong to any of the show's regular characters; "Are you up yet," is all it says. It is difficult to tell if Leonardo responds to the strange voice or not, but he leaves his room and heads to the living area of the lair.

The lair seems empty; neither Splinter nor the other turtle are anywhere to be found and the living area is quite messy. He finds a pizza box on the kitchen table, but upon opening it finds a very old and moldy pizza with hundreds of insect carcasses on it. At this point, Leonardo decides to leave the lair and goes looking for his coat.

The picture suddenly switches to black for about ten seconds, as if for advertisements; some say a very faint whispering can be heard if the volume is turned up high. The scene then switches back to Leonardo walking through the sewers. The picture quality is now very poor; the backgrounds look rushed in their design and don't loop properly in their repetition.

What follows is a scene with Leonardo standing and looking into a sewer stream. He is not moving and the only animation is the slow movement of the water, with what sounds like a dripping noise playing in the background. After a few seconds, Michelangelo suddenly drifts into frame; he is otherwise motionless. He just seems to be slowly drifting by, face up with his eyes wide open in a vacant stare. His tone is sickly green and his face is slightly sunken. Leonardo stoically watches Michelangelo's clearly lifeless body drift by before slowly moving on.

Leonardo is now walking the streets. It is somewhat dark; there is no one around and none of the businesses seem to be open, with many seeming abandoned and derelict. He doesn't seem to be going anywhere, just wandering aimlessly as there is nowhere to go. He passes the channel six building; it is clearly vacant. He decides to rest on a street bench and begins testing his turtle com, but there is no reply to any of his calls and he angrily thrusts the device on the ground, smashing it.

Suddenly, the unidentified male voice reiterates, "Are you up yet," to which Leonardo doesn't seem to respond, instead just sitting and staring at his broken turtle-com; "They're gone," the voice quietly utters, followed by an extremely loud tearing scream, "THEY'RE GONE! GONE! GONE," after which Leonardo starts cringing in wild agony, screaming in pain and furiously punching himself in the head.

Loud banging and high-pitched scraping sounds now fill the scene. Strange moving black shapes start forming around Leonardo and circling him, some appearing to rush towards him in a violent manner before suddenly disappearing, their victim too afraid to look at them.

The picture goes to loud static for several minutes until it suddenly ends.

Secret of Cartoons: Chowder Lost Episode - Dead Mung

My cousin used to work at Cartoon Network. He used to produce episodes of such shows as Chowder, The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, and others. One day, he had an idea for an episode of Chowder, entitled 'Dead Mung'. He gave me the script and tape he made of 'Dead Mung'.

The original intro appeared as normal. Then the screen came up saying 'Dead Mung'. Nothing special, just text. Then it showed Chowder cooking something in the kitchen. As usual, he keeps messing up. Getting more frustrated each time he fucked up. At this time, Mung entered the kitchen. Smoke filled the air, because

Chowder burned whatever he was making (I couldn't make it out).

Mung, angry, started yelling at Chowder. 'YOU SON OF A BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE TRYING TO DO HERE? KILL ME! I LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!' At that moment, Chowder shoved Mung into the oven. Mung was gasping for air, the said one last thing, 'WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE?'

Chowder answered with, 'Schnitzel.' Mung burned up in the oven. Chowder put him out of the oven and let him cool.

Then, after cooling, Chowder pulls out a butcher knife from his back pocket and rips out all of the intestines and organs. Someone, a customer, came in at that moment, and saw Chowder pull out the innards of Mung. Chowder throws the butcher knife, hitting the customer in the eyeball, skewering it. Chowder skinned Mung, and threw it out. He began eating Mung, with a demonic, twisted face.

Truffles appeared and joined into the feast. Chowder finished Mung and threw the bones away. Truffles then exited the room. Chowder stared at the camera with that demonic twisted look on his face. The screen goes black. Text appeared in a plain font saying, 'The End'.

I asked my cousin why he made this horrible cartoon. He never answered.