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Being chased around all day long for no apparent reason by four strangers isn't fun. It really hurts. It's like I'm in a maze, but not any ordinary maze. It's a prison, an endless prison where I'm forced to eat the same food every day. Nothing but just that one food that they put all over the place in some sort of pattern.

The strangers chase me around all day long, and I'm forced to run away from them. But they have tactics and they know my weaknesses and common places to go. I'm trying to get past them one day, catch them offguard and sneak out. But I don't know if there is a way out of here.

But I know their weakness. There's a specific food that's bigger than my original snack I have, and when I catch it, I seem to get...strong. I can overpower these guys with no problem, forcing them to retreat to a base in the middle of the maze, where they stay behind until they are brave enough to come back and chase me down. My super-snack barely lasts twenty seconds, and it mysteriously slows my mortal enemies down. What is going on?

Occasionally, I get fed with a random fruit which is always found in the same place every day. But it only stays there for a few minutes before randomly disappearing. It keeps me full for a day, so I have to keep my eye on that spot.

The worst part is when these guys capture me. Everytime someone gets me, they beat me to a pulp and I die, but I miraculously revive seconds later. Ironically, in the exact same place every single time, where my fruit is. I've been trapped for eternity in a maze of death, never to escape.

So why the hell do people just stare at me for hours and complain when I die? Why won't they bust me out of here? I'm always everywhere, in people's computers, in arcades, in nearly every place in the world. But they don't save me. They watch me for hours on end.

Damn you guys!


Oh, how rude of me. I forgot to give my name, didn't I?

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