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Showing posts from February, 2013

Buy Some Time

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?" DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?" DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"   SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"   DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."   SON: "Oh! (With his head down). "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"    The father was furious.   DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior." The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.   The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?   After about

Poems for Love in Real Life

An Ode To Long Term Love We used to dress up and go out on the town, flirting long after the sun went down. These days our idea of the height of romance is takeout and Netflix and not wearing pants. People might think we’re boring, they might think we’re lame, but we live our lives without any shame. Because there’s nothing better than having a lover and being able to fart in front of each other. A Haiku About Dating Fatigue I’m done with dating. Let’s just get married right now. What’s your name again? A Limerick Of Love Lost There once was a dreamboat named Dan He seemed like the rare perfect man until date number four when the T-shirt he wore said “Rush Limbaugh’s #1 Fan.” A Pet Peeve Poem Roses are red, violets are blue, If you don’t start putting the toilet seat down, I’m filing for divorce.

Just a Dream

I was asleep in my room just the same as any other night. I was having a strange dream. A scary dream. This dream was unlike any other that I’d had. In my dream I lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. Although I was well aware of the situation, I was unable to move. I could only move my eyes and facial muscles. Aside from that, something else was strange about this. Something sinister. Through the dark, I could make a out a human figure stuck to my ceiling. I could feel it’s piercing red eyes staring at me, as if into my soul. I couldn’t quite tell what it was wearing. It’s face was completely covered with cuts and scars, it’s eyes wide and expressionless. The blood from its face dripped down on to mine to a steady beat. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Over and over and over again. One drop got into my mouth. The taste was absolutely repulsive, tasting nothing like blood. It tasted as though it was the juice from a rotting meat. Well, I suppose that was what it is. I grew anxious. Slowly,